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When I was ugly, I got bullied and harassed. When I became pretty, I got bullied and harassed, but this time "it was a compliment".

Does anyone else remember in Swan Princess that Derek says "You're beautifull" , Odette asks "And what else" and Derek answers "What else is there" making her quitty the engagement? Gold scene

"Pretty girl"on-screen - indistinguishable from other girls on-screen, because they're all played by comparably gorgeous actresses.

Doesn't matter if you're conventionally pretty or not- being a girl is hard work.

I have friends with curvy body types that deal with sexual harassment, chastising comments, and creepy guys that get mad when their feelings aren’t reciprocated. It’s gross how a natural body type for many is assumed to mean that the women are more sexual than average when it’s just others being more attracted to them. It’s entitled men that mistreat my friends while also slut-shaming women for having agency over their own bodies that get to me.

Tropes and stereotypes rob people of their humanity and complexity.

I know they aren’t going to touch on this in this video but we need to talk about how black women often are pressured to look their best 24/7 or you else you are most likely to experience a lot of hate and discrimination even from your own race. God forbid you wear a bonnet and pajamas to the grocery store or airport and you get dragged for it. I noticed as an average looking black woman I get treated much worst when I don’t dress up, do my hair , and wear makeup. I have even experienced racism and colorism. Also even pretty black women are “ humbled “ and are told without makeup and weave they aren’t nearly as pretty and dark skin women are told they are pretty for a dark skin girl and would be prettier if they were lighter. Black women are called gold diggers even though statistically black women settle for less.

The part about lower class women need to use their beauty for upward social mobility is very enlightening. Thank you for talking about this!

As someone who is on the thicker side, one thing that sucks is how perfectly normal outfits are seen as inappropriate on me, but when a girl with no curves at all wears the same thing it's no a big deal, and nobody polices them. Heck, because I live in a city with a beach, I've seen girls walk around in bikinis with no cover ups down the street, but me the girl wearing a crop top and jeans is the one who is getting all the glares and judgement, even though I am more covered up than the girl with the bikini.

I hate how “pretty privilege” is discussed! It’s always “do pretty people get benefits or no?”. Then beautiful women push back, talking about the real challenges of having a conventionally attractive body. And, yea. But I think “pretty privilege” isn’t about looking drop dead gorgeous! It’s about looking “average” or above. It’s about NOT looking disabled, old, lower class, darker skinned, fat, etc. The average looking woman in a store will be treated better than an older, overweight woman in a motorized scooter. The woman with decayed teeth will get treated differently in an interview than the girl with a white smile. The teen with cystic facial acne gets perceived different than the girl with 4 pimples. “Pretty privilege” is a way to group together the visible markers of fatphobia, ageism, colorism, acne, classism, etc. Its NOT about “is life easy for the beautiful”!! We need to move away from this side of the debate and start talking about the true challenges faced by people with multiple “unattractive” markers.

There is a classic psychological study titled “What is Beautiful is Also Good” that demonstrated empirically that yes, more conventionally attractive people do in fact receive unearned societal advantages, which include others making the assumption that the pretty person is nicer and more talented than he/she may actually be. I think the “disadvantages” experienced by beautiful women are more accurately ascribed to misogyny, not to their appearance. Attractive men typically do NOT have to fight stereotypes of stupidity or cupidity.

Without money and a family, a beautiful girl doesn’t have as much privilege as people think. Some get thrown to the wolves 😔

What the heck! Comparing the Kardashians to the proverbial “rags to riches” is a joke right? The Kardashians sisters dad was a wealthy lawyer for Pete’s sake’s. That family was wealthy before they got famous for Kim’s sex tape you know?!?!?!

I was 'the pretty one' in my old friendship group and honestly it really messed me up in the end. My male friends constantly used it to put me down. Whenever I said something they disagreed with they would all laugh and say "well at least you've got your looks hey?" Or they'd let me know how insanely lucky I was to be conventionally attractive because it got my places so much easier, totally discrediting the hours and hours I put into studying, working etc. etc. It was so difficult to prove myself or get them to take me seriously. They genuinely made me believe my looks were all I had. I started getting panic attacks whenever I noticed a pimple or that I'd put on period weight because I thought it made me less valuable.

in today’s society we should call out “ugly disadvantage“ instead of “pretty privilege”…

Yet another trope that Elle Woods gloriously stomped on in her high heels. She was my role model as a youngster, and showed me that you can have beauty AND brains, you don't have to pick! 😍

people want girls to be naturally pretty, once she admits to surgery or wears a lot of makeup she's criticized. also, girls are expected to be pretty without acknowledging that they are. if she owns her beauty she's criticized or seen as vain and full of herself. but still, being an ugly girl is harder than being a pretty girl. i've been both and ugly girls just straight up get ignored and disrespected.

All women are disrespected on some level just for being women. I've had two past boyfriends ask me if sexism is really still a thing

I have always wanted to be pretty, not because of what it might get me but because if I were pretty, I wouldn't have been laughed at or insulted for my looks all those years growing up. While yes, you should ignore other kids being mean, because kids are immature, it's very hard to forget it when you heard it almost every day until you graduated, and also when you know it's true. That's when it hits home and it really fucks with not just your self image but also your self worth.

As an ugly girl, I would love to even be "conventionally attractive" girl. This 2 doesn't need to be a 10, but it would be nice to be at least a 7.

One thing the video kinds of glosses over is the "pretty privilege" is a full blown system and is objective in terms of the societal benefits and resources it provides, it's not just an opinion people have about attractive people. What this video is mainly looking at is the intersection of attractiveness, sexism, and classism.

If you can monetize your beauty, more power to you. It's not your fault to have something people wanna pay for. It's kind of like naturally talented singers. Why should they hide their voice or not charge for it?

I recently uncovered the shock of discovering the majority of successful "black" actresses who have really made it...are all multiracial. In itself, there is no shame or issue with being multiracial. Just the fact that these women are being touted as the definition of beauty for a race when they maintain Eurocentric approved features. Also definitely going to check out Emily Ratajaowski's book. She sounds so smart, and does not deserve how she is treated.

You know what Encanto merchandise is selling the most: Luisa! Not traditionally pretty Isabela, but awkward Mirabel and buff Luisa!

When I had platinum hair and no glasses, there was a noticeable difference in how people treated me. They were nicer, friendlier, went out of their way for me more. I didn't experience any more harrassment than before, but I definitely expected privilege. That's one example of pretty privilege; it does exist.

I was a "pretty boy" till I was about 30 or so, now I'm just a bald middle aged weirdo. Pretty privilege is real

I remember being guilty of buying into the beauty OR brains thing. Very glad I realized that’s all bs

I do wish that The Take hadn’t so quickly dismissed the idea of pretty privilege as a thing before listing the negatives of having it. It is a thing- we know for a fact that people deemed attractive make more money, are promoted more, are more likely to be hired. It makes a huge difference. There are negatives that go along with it, but they don’t remove the fact that pretty privilege is a thing.

Despite all the disadvantages of being a pretty girl it is still Affords you in my opinion a leg up in life which is a much more desirable position to find yourself in than being on the other end of the spectrum or just being average looking

The “gold digger” deserves its own video analysis. There’s sooo much to analyze

The way society wants to use your appearance and is more than willing to punish you if you seek agency or respect never fails to make you want to vomit

‘Catwoman’ (2004) had Halle Berry with Frizzy Hair and Oversized Clothes to make her look ‘normal’. I loved the movie but that creative choice was weird, to put it lightly.

"Women dont have the privilege of not looking pretty" perfectly put 🙏

The best part in ‘Erin Brockovich’ was Erin’s response to Mr. Masry asking her how she got the information was: “They’re called boobs, Ed.” 😂

"You're a pretty girl. You just need to fix yourself up." I hear this literally every time I see my mother. Seeing as I'm over 40, this woman just refuses to "read the room". I "fix myself up" when I'm going out somewhere nice or getting my picture taken. Other than that, I refuse to spend more than 20 minutes on my appearance. I do what I can in a reasonable amount of time and say "God bless it" to the rest. 😀

I’m so happy that the video mentions how standards of beauty are arbitrary. People have freckle pens because apparently freckles are hot right now. After a point, you don’t care because you should be pretty the way you want to and stop judging. Life’s calmer that way.

There's a clip about the boys from Clueless, but don't forget in that very movie, she uses a makeover to elevate another girl's status. Cher herself is only viewed as a silly pretty girl, by Paul Rudd's character, until she starts showing more dimensions.

The amount of narcissistic men in power that I find myself constantly running into is exhausting. Being promised jobs that end up nowhere because you refuse to flirt and sleep with them.

Finally, someone talks about the downsides - I once had a boss during law school tell me *to my face* that no one would take me seriously because of how how I looked, so I always needed to watch how I spoke. And this was supposed to be in the professional sphere 🙄

The Gibson girls were also modeled after his wife, he took his type and made it the standard

This is so true. Coming from an attractive girl who used to be uglier, people are so much worse to you. I’ve been bullied since high school, girls tried to jump me because they thought I wanted their man. Another girl spray painted “F you sl*t” on my property. And the online bullying and harassment, it’s real bad. I dropped out of school and went cyber. I had to delete social media several times. People have no sympathy because “you have it all”. People treat you like you’re some celebrity and they invade your personal life. Can’t even defend yourself because you’re a “dumb blonde bimbo.” Nobody takes your feelings seriously. They nitpick every part of your appearance. Yes there are upsides, but they’re not benefits at all. Unwanted attention and constant compliments? I can live without that.

A pretty girl’s crime is knowing she’s pretty.

I was told as a teacher that my students only listened to me because I was "young and pretty". That was fun.

I also keep thinking how pretty privileges like a pedestal that could be yanked away the minute you step out of line. Like with Monica Lewinsky (symmetrical face, full lips, soft hydrated skin, thick shiny hair, dark and thick lashes, and hourglass curves) who is simultaneously called a bimbo or femme fatale or is shamed for that infamous ID and her weight. Also I noticed that upper class signifiers of desirability seem to demphasize curves in the clothing while lower classed beauties are characterized by skin baring or curve hugging outfits (often more colorful and bright) that show cleavage.

I was deemed beautiful more often in college than I was in high school. So I think “pretty” is time and context dependent. And I used to scoff at girls who complained about only being viewed as beautiful until my last boss came onto me and wasn’t listening to a damn thing I said or the ideas I had.

The "price of pretty" is still way cheaper than the cost of being an ugly woman. Being an ugly woman is an expensive life cost that charges you all through your youth. You don't equalize until about 45 when most women "hit the wall"

The pretty privilege when it comes to women specifically can be also a disadvantage. For a pretty woman, it's true that it is easier for her to be accepted in so many circles just because of beauty, and get away with a degree of things for the same reasons. But it's also a disadvantage especially when a "pretty woman" is in an environnement where being pretty AND a woman means you are dumb and less trustworthy. I think that professionnaly speaking, the pretty privilege becomes as much of a priviege as a disadvantage because some people will cut slack and brush of a woman's incompetence because she is pretty. Yet some other people will brush off a pretty woman's efforts, talent and competence because "A pretty woman can't be intelligent or competent"

So when are they going to have a video on the short, chubby, cute girl with the heart of gold that is only a friend and has to watch the love of her life go for one of these girls?

This is gonna be a fun comments section... This was a little hit or miss from me, but generally i appreciate the points made. "If it even exists" bothers me as a line particularly. I think the problem with prettiness does lie really at the root of multiple people trying to own/control/use the person in question and saps a weird amount of autonomy even while it opens a lot of doors. The comments about "you're just asking to be assaulted" ring very clearly to the phrase that was used when i was assaulted, "You're so beautiful i can't help myself".

one of the hardest things about being attractive is that you don’t know if men really want to get to know you or care about you or if you’re only being used for sex . being beautiful is great but it also has a price

I wouldnt describe Anya as 'classically beautiful". She is a rare, out of this world beauty

I’ve had so many pretty friends being treated like idiots and objects to control or have… it made me second guess if it’s just a privilege, in a way it’s very much a curse as well cause you don’t really know who too trust until it’s too late ☹️

I've weighed 135 lbs - 195 lbs as an adult. I got all sorts of compliments for my appearance under 150. I also got a lot of male expectations imposed upon me. So I learned to hear compliments about my appearance as warnings. But up over 155, I got nothing. And it's been one of the very, very few good things about being overweight. Now that I've accepted myself as asexual and somewhat gender queer, not being complimented for my physical appearance as a "woman" is very much a relief.

Someone once said *Beauty is a blessing & a curse* ... hmm, all of those women in the thumbnail were assigned *side piece* roles... except for Elle Woods, who *changed her own narrative*

Pretty isn't always a privilege, it can be unbelievable, with bullies, loneliness, and difficult. When you're pretty you are seen as dumb, as just a sex object, and just a bragging right. Some men see pretty as easy, sexual harassment happens more often even by men old enough to be our fathers and grandfather. Pretty wasn't a privilege for me but a very big problem, in my personal and professional life.

"Pretty isn't beautiful [...] Pretty is what changes." - Stephen Sondheim

The hardest thing about being "The Pretty Girl" is when you age and become invisible. If you've only been known as "The Pretty One" you have no clue what your identity is once your looks are gone. Trust me.

When I was a kid my mom told me I needed to watch Erin Brockovich so I could see how looks don't matter blah blah blah. But Erin literally took her power back by using her looks to work for her. While people continued to bash her and treat her like crap based on her looks. Kinda didn't prove what she thought it was proving, it was just another jab at her and at me. I heard a joke on a sitcom once, "she's so pretty her own mom hates her" and it made me sad because... it's a thing.

As a woman who is not pretty, I often get overlooked for opportunities that seem to come naturally to the pretty girls. While I am sure that pretty has its pitfalls, ugly hurts much worse.

For this trope, I like to use a quote from The Playboy Club, which sadly was cancelled. A customer says to the bunny "You are a thing of beauty", to which she replies, smiling: "Well, actually I'm not a thing." It is so easy for us to objectify beautiful people and stereotype them, so we should all be aware of the fact that everyone is different and three dimensional.

Can we stop with ageism, please? How many times do I need to see a 50-year-old man paired with a 20-year-old actress? How many times do I need to see a character whos supposed to be 30 (looking at you, Jenniffer Lawrence in Silver Lining Playbook) played by a 20 something? Let women age. Let us feel like we're not "worthless" if we don't. We have more value than our physical appearance. I'm not pretty. What should I do, then? Kill myself? And I'm in my thirties now. Double whammy.

I will say that one thing that does bother is when some people get defensive about pretty privilege, they cite being sexually assaulted/harassed as a reason for their lack of privilege. As if “ugly” people don’t get assaulted all the time, or that studies show that looks aren’t the greatest factor when comes to SA.

The amount of times people assumed I had it easy and would decide to be hard on me just to allow me to experience the true difficulties of life All of them feel like they are the first ones to do it

The take has done like 50 variations of this same trope.

Just to be clear, a person has the right to be naked without the fear or expectation of non-consensual groping.

I was a awkward goth teen in school this guy came up to me and said “you’d be the prettiest girl in school if you wasn’t a goth” and I really wasn’t interested in looks and attracting boys attention. Being pretty can be isolating as everyone is either jealous, envious, not taken seriously, mocked, seen as a sexual quest or just see you at surface level from everyone. I find I get more hate from older women sadly😕

When it comes to both pretty privilege or even this video, the political platform is shifting. We're at the peak of diversity focus - which means that what goes up, must come down. As archaic and supremacist cultural standards make a return at grassroots level in a more combative way, videos like this give them a way in - ultimately through empathising with pretty privilege, rather than looking at ugly disadvantages, as many folk in this comments section have very astutely pointed out. Then, there is the fact that even diversity itself strays away from the abject feminine as much as possible in the first place, because people still gravitate towards image & content over everything else (which is how respectability politics come up). Videos like this allow us to intellectualise, whilst looking continuously looking at something or someone pretty (beauty is a crucial part of commidification or wealth). So whilst it might FEEL like we're challenging ourselves, we're only recieving a message in a way we feel comfortable with...which ultimately misses the point. I think the whole discussion around "pretty privilege" instead of "ugly disadvantage" not only reflects a cultural shift backwards, it also betrays our need for materially pleasant illusions in which to ingest a message, however important it might be. The first and only real step, in my mind, is to actually admit this to ourselves, and face that truth.

Do the "Female Assassin/Spy trope" next!

This is so interesting. My sis and I were close enough in age and looks that we were often mistaken as twins when little, but as we entered the teen years and she adopted a more traditional feminine look and I struggled with being comfortable in my new body (covering up in baggy clothes) she got labeled by family and friends as the "Pretty one" and I got the "Smart one" Even though, dressed a like strangers could barely tell us apart and we were both very intelligent. The kicker was, at my senior prom, the 2nd time I dolled up in high school, I had to endure my own classmates (not my friends just classmen) double take or mistake me for my sister the next school day and ask where was I and why sis was at my prom. I went rogue after that and just embraced my little "quirky ugly duckling" for a few years while I tried to figure my own shit out and learned to stop comparing myself with my sisters.

As a “pretty girl” if you do anything that doesn’t align with that image like say doing anything that’s not “super nice” or putting your foot down in an uncomfortable situation, ppl, meaning friends and colleagues, will constantly remind you in passive aggressive ways that you are “disqualified.” They get real joy out of doing this. I guess it’s like they’re saying “see you’re not better than me!” It’s a classic bring me down to make you feel up type of thing. The problem is society programs people to have inadequacy issues. Lose your temper justifiably? forget it - you’re the antichrist, as you alluded to in the femme fatale segment. It’s very much walking on a tightrope to pull it off long term and stressful. It’s so much easier to just be a flawed human being. I own an apparel business and continue to be profitable even if I don’t feel like looking pretty that day. Accepting that I don’t have to be perfect all the time was so liberating, although I wish I realized it a lot sooner.

in real life, many will tell you being "pretty girls" can sometimes only give you the down sides (esp if you're a poc or queer or disabled on top of it), you dont get doors held for you, or gifts, or jobs, or idk what people think the benefits are, but it gives you stalkers, bullying, and angry men who demand to own you/ feel they have the right to your body (dating or sex), also assumptions and projections that you are well off, unstruggling, etc. (yes most women have these but for some its higher, and yes its a nuanced topic, and not to mention racism and other bigoted issues that are an important part of the convo am unable to convay or touch on so please keep that in mind)

This has got to be one of THE best videos I’ve seen on pretty privilege. So many movie examples *with* scenes, which I love esp bc I’m more of a visual learner. It felt like an hour long, but not a second was boring. And there were so many true things said that I couldn’t have said better myself! I even laughed at some of the wording bc it was worded so well that it really started giving me realizations and everything I couldn’t put in my own words but knew finally made sense. Thanks for this video!

I’m so glad you guys came out with this take! I’ve been seeing a lot about pretty privilege and the “great” things that it affords women, but haven’t heard much of the negatives about it even though they’re so blatant. And I love how you related it to class, and spoke about how being “sexy” is seen as less wifeable than being “beautiful”, even though they are both highly sought after by men. Being beautiful can be a deadly trap just like many things that come w being a woman and there are many ways that beautiful women are treat horribly bc they are beautiful and so their worth and accomplishments otherwise are diminished or assumed to not even exist.

Please cover the "Beauty is Bad" trope, where a character's attractive looks don't make them a good, high moral person.

I love all of your videos because you can see your effort that you put in every one of them. And it is really entertaining. Ceep going! 👏❤️

Thank you for this video, especially including Elle Woods. I have been told by my own family members that I look like her. It’s so weird because I never considered myself to be the “pretty girl” (just an average or okay girl) but I can relate to some of these struggles of women trying to be taken seriously. And having people make judgments about you based on your looks. Thank you so much for highlighting how it’s not always fun to be considered pretty because of what people assume about who you are because of the way you look.

I just want to be happy while ugly. I don’t have a problem with it, it’s all I know after all. It’s everyone else discussing appearance. Growing up ugly means growing up invisible to men, so I had to work harder, develop a thicker skin, and not that I wish invisibility on anyone, it can hurt, a lot of these problems can be solved by simply working harder. I think that’s an easier road to happiness instead of trying to make myself into something “beautiful”.

I work in a middle school. I get sexually harassed by middle school boys several times a day. The school tells me that they're "learning" so I just have to deal with this everyday. It's frustrating that they treat me so differently from they're male or older female teachers. A complete lack of respect. They don't take me seriously just because of how I look. It's infuriating. And this is my second job. I left the first because my boss was always harassing me and no one would take the situation seriously

I LOVED this video so much! You did an AMAZING job!

I would call it Surviving when Good-looking people (women especially) "exploit themselves" (i hate how that's phrased) because there's no way to make it easily in our economic, hyper-capitalistic society than well-off men can do. Some of my favorite literary Heroines, such as Moll Flanders and Becky Sharp, were poor class/orphan but cunning, savvy women who relied on their charms and looks to survive in a deeply sexist, classist, male-dominated society.

I'm sorry, I'm too ugly to understand the problems of being attractive especially within the opposite sex.

What about Blair Waldorf from Gossip Girl? She uses her beaiuty and smarts to manipulate people.

I think the fact that this is a video on being pretty and the images are almost all beautiful white women because the representation of any other women outside of sexual fetishization is so lacking tells enough.

You guys also should make a video about the "Beautiful Heroin." Esmeralda from Hunchback movie and Jasmine from Aladdin is "the beautiful heroin" who fights for her people. She looks at it as a leader while being extremely desirable.

The White characters in Get Out weren't pretending to be liberal, they WERE liberal. That's a huge part of what made it so effective.

I hate the “people underestimate us and think we’re stupid” argument. sis.. people think that about ugly / average looking people too. People care more about what pretty people have to say.

Seamless ad 👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽 I appreciate stuff like that

As one who grew up..."plain" and the world then turned and said thats Attractive! It was a surreal twist for me I enjoy things that are feminine wile also loving my gaming and sports. It wasn't a super hard transition for me all woman know who likes them and when we are being watched and our "Hyena adaptability of laugh threw the pain" is (Hyeneas laughs are not laugh but noises they make when they are under stress or panic i compare it to how us females laugh off a lot of uncomfortable situations and scenarios that we get in we are uncomfortable but all people see is the laugh) how we cope. It was for my male friends..all of a sudden they get slammed with "guys and girls can't be friends" "don't make friends with woman you won't bed" ETC and if I dated someone their under scrutiny as well. The man I am with is 6 years older than me and a divorce wherever we go if he introduces me to friends it's"how did you manage that" ,"you can't handle all that" or many other quips of how I am to attractive for him or that he's to plain and old for me (we r both in our 30's him 36 I 31). I got told by other guys I considered friends that I won't stay young forever discrediting what I say vs how I look.

When I dress up and look pretty and feminine, I am treated better. Hands down, period, however I would say that I also seem to be treated as helpless on many occasions. It’s interesting…

I just struggle to empathize with people who complain about the things that made them millionaires. Everyone has struggles, but most people's struggles don't also earn them enough money to retire by age 30 and it just feels very spoiled when Emily Ratajkowski/Megan Fox types align themselves with those who are materially held back and who have to live in the real world while dealing with their problems. Bring attention to the issues but have some self-awareness while doing so.

Pretty privilege may open a lot of doors for you in life, which is why I think it's a good idea to invest in your appearance at least a little bit. Invest in your appearance, but also in yourself. Mentally, I know that when I look my best and take my time to do it, I always feel better. Yes, you can gain from having pretty privilege, but you don't have to always look pretty you can also benefit from having high maintenance privilege. People can detect how much effort you put into your appearance. People who exercise, eat well, get enough sleep and have pleasant attitudes are viewed with admiration. It's not only about your appearance; it can also be about the things you do, how you love yourself, and the energy you exude.

I always thought being cute or average is not that baad, it prevents you from too much attention for the wrong reason but you know that if you put in the effort you can get some of it ! ☀️

Pretty privilege is actually desirability politics. When you say the word "pretty privilege," you're focusing mainly on the individual. You're implying that some women will be treated differently(based on their looks) than others with no substance behind the why. Desirability politics(featurism, lookism, fatphobia, texturism, colorism, etc) states that the only reason why some women(preferably white or light-skinned, thin, non Ethnic facial features) are seen as pretty and why some women are not(fat women, dark-skinned women, Black women who have thick hair, women who have Ethnic features, etc) is because of white supremacy. It also focuses on how structures and institutions uphold desirability politics from who gets hired for jobs, who gets romantic attention, who gets a "better quality of life," etc.

This reminded me of how I used to think of myself as pretty. Something I haven't thought of for a long time. In fact, nowadays I think I'm passable, and only let a picture be taken of me if I have make-up on. The weird thing is that I grew up as a child who was constantly praised as being a beautiful little girl.

*dramatically falls to my knees* thankkkk youuuuuuu for this videoooooo

Thank you for articulating everything I have thought after watching countless commentary videos on pretty privilege within the past 6 months.

I'm gonna be honest just to share my experience. I've been the ugly, the average, and the pretty. Because I tried hard to glo up each day and it did pay off well. Maybe some of you guys are interested. I felt more confident sharing this with random strangers on the Internet than with people that know me. I'll try to explain it shortly... Age 5 - 12 the ugly Pros : - Gets to stay at home playing video games. No one is interested to hang out with me anyway. - I could literally do dumb crazy shit and NO ONE CARES. - No need to waste time dressing up to go anywhere. Efficiency. - No need to touch up or worry about appearance. - I don't care if I don't shower for a week lol. No one cares either. Another efficiency. Cons : - No hopes in love. Boys just get brutally honest that they don't like me cuz I'm ugly. - Definitely hate to be in a photo. Always looked ugly :( - Only got one small circle and when conflict happens there are no more friends but to wait for my friends to solve things with me. - Either joke material or ignored 24/7 no in between. - Nobody gives any attention at all lol - Only hung out with the 3 friends I had. Since nobody is interested to be a new friend. - Family members make fun of me and even say that I got uglier each day LMAO. - LONELY AF. Cats are like my only deep deep friend. - No miracles happening lmao. Just sleep is the only go-to. - I'm the last at everything... This list can go on more... Age 13 - 16 the average Pros : - A couple of friends here and there. - Crushing in this stage is fun. I can really feel the challenge and still have fun without worrying of much about his value. Mutual chemistry and comfort are all I need and so do the average guys. - Got a few guys here and there who starts to have a crush on me. It was an amazing experience knowing that back then. - A relationship in this stage is just a comfort zone cuz I can get to be the real who I am and the boy see your true self quicker too. - Can be the funny one in the group. - ISTG this is the best stage to get friends. having a circle here is really fun. - I can posts stuff on social media about anything. Even stupid stuff to my 300 followers. Nothing to be worried about cuz nobody expects high from me either. - I easily get butterflies from the most average guy ever... but it was fun back then LMAO. - Parents don't really expect high from me either :/ - Can hang out with ANYONE. Cons : - I either get really ugly guys or guys with less effort. That's all I always get. - Whenever I try to be more extra in my appearance, people lowkey or BLUNTLY bullies like as if telling me to stop trying and that I'm not pretty/can't. This stage is where people are comfortable with the "nothing extra" of me. Am I even explaining that right? The thing is people still look down on me when I tried to go higher or better than usual. - Always get the regular no-effort guys. Even when boys have a crush on me there's no special effort. I always gotta put some effort too. When I broke up with my non-chalant man of 2 years, having a thing with a higher in financial or appearance value man, I always put at the last and treated like shit. - Well it depends... but for me, I was the "funny" one. As back then I wasn't pretty yet... It's like I need to be funny all the time. One time I got a bit sad and unsocial not like usual, people just don't check on me but my closest friends. Since I don't have a pretty face. To entertain is all I can do to make friends talk to me. (Other than my close friends) - It's weird that at this stage I got bullied more than in the ugly stage. Usually by the popular upperclassmen. The senior girls don't want me to see me glo up. I know that. Cuz in this stage I constantly tried different things to better myself up. (Honestly fake friends too.) - This stage is a kinda crisis to me. I'm stuck in the middle like... Not pretty and not ugly. Am I pretty or am I ugly??? It's confusing LMAO. Maybe that got me bullied too? WEIRD. - Since I can hang out with anyone on this stage without worrying much about their value, I get too humble that people use me. Since I'm not ugly they're friends with me AND since I'm not pretty, they don't really respect me. (But isn't all friends, just happens to some.) - The cons of this stage are just pretty much confusing and crisis. Age 17 - 18 the pretty (I'm currently 18) Pros : - I always notice guys looking at me for too long. - Likes to take photos. I am loving the results. I can even make aesthetic photos. IG game strong. - CV got accepted easily. I worked at the age of 18 with a good income. - SO MANY GUYS CRUSHING. AND THEY PUT EFFORT. I don't really need to do anything. I always win in "love games" - Got men that actually put A LOT of effort into the relationship, care about special days, are protective, and are obsessed over me. AND MORE. - Whenever I post instastory there will be ALWAYS someone replied. Giving me company or compliments. - Be the golden child of the family. My grandma buys me everything and calls me pretty. She usually doesn't. I got spoilt. - Friends are sooo easy to get. But usually guy friends. Still, I can go out anytime and they would accompany me. - Yes, I do weaponize my beauty. Sorry not sorry. Its fun to get what I want. - Whether I'm funny or not, putting effort or not, I have a pretty face and body. People would still want me around anyways. Cons : - I need to constantly keep my appearance pretty. I used to be so skinny and overall bad. Now I eat more, workout, routine showers, makeup before going out, hair must be ironed, and my outfit MUST be on point. - As much as I get attention easily from guys... GREAT power comes GREAT responsibility. I need to keep my walls up all the time and put out the best performance or persona to keep them interested and to see which one is the best of all. I don't want men who only want me purely of my appearance and no other reason. - GIRLS randomly just hates me and talk shit about me when I didn't do shit. So many backhanded compliments. Hard to find good women friends. That's why I only hung out with guys usually. Cuz the girls don't want me around. I put A LOT of effort cuz I want women friends so bad but they just never accept me. I never take anyone's man or bother people's relationships. I SWEAR. - Parents now began to be more STRICT. - I rarely get butterflies anymore. I need them to put more EFFORT and I'm now judging their values if it fits my standard or not. My Mom also suggested I do this to men for my own good. - I also don't want to hang out with anyone anymore... I judge their values too from now on. - I need to keep a good image on social media. My Mom also told me to do that because I've entered some type of fancy high-level competition that got me to have thousands of followers, etc. Keeping my image and not posting stupid random stuff on the internet is crucial. - A man once told me on a date "What can you do anyway?" in a mocking tone. I ghosted him after. Yeah, people didn't really believe either pretty girls can do much. ( I proved them wrong ) - Since I'm pretty people think I'm happy all the time. They think I'm happy since the day I'm born. When I'm sad they'll think its not a big deal. Little did they know I have big problems too. Not to mention my childhood is traumatic cuz I'm living in an abusive family. - I just have the need to be always perfect. When I go out is as equal as I'm on stage. The show must go on. Just want to get it out of my chest. There could've been 100 lists if I want to ahaha. The easiest level is *The Average* . Especially if you are not trying to break out of your comfort zone. Your life would probably just be normal every day, no unexpected drama. But I broke my comfort zone. I do miss the butterflies, the friends, and the freedom I get when I was average. But to have the pretty privilege now, I'm still very grateful and still staying strong to keep going at this stage. To be pretty is the hardest because it needs control at ALL times. GREAT power comes GREAT responsibility. Pretty girls can be used negatively by people if just carelessly being pretty and many more. I'm speaking this objectively and honestly. Thanks for reading, sorry for my bad English grammar.

Whenever I work in a team, some women refuse to talk to me and purposely leave me out. I got bullied in every workplace n they were all women. I am quite humble but like to dress smart, am a graduate,exercise etc and work hard. This behaviour always puzzled me. I'm not going to presume it's because of the "pretty girl" syndrome but sometimes I wonder. I'm friendly, down to earth, can stand up for myself and have friends. It's not like I'm a weirdo. Maybe this explains it? I'm not vain, but I do like yo look smart and have my act together.

I often feel like I can't win with people no matter what. Avoidance and/or jealousy.