100% agreed.

Right on

I am the one in my relationship who needs to hear this and I am here. Don’t be quick to jump to assumptions.

@@denizasr Fine. And I say that 99 out of 100 will agree with my comment.

@@KpxUrz5745 why do you want to be agreed with so much?

🙍‍♀️🙋‍♀️

Cause all have hopes and desires....

In my case, it wouldn't do my wife any good to watch. Married 40 years, cut off 14 years ago, and in my religion, " sealed for time and all eternity "..................... I have serious concerns about the after-life.

Tomas Jay i understand what you are saying. But the after life would be better as there are no physical limitations. Aging is a physical limitation. In the after life there’s none of that.

Thank you Rafael, yes, what you say is definitely true. But, there is so much more to discuss concerning eternity, afterlife existence.

Amen !!!!!!!!!

Yep. I know what you are talking about

Maybe share this with him and watch it together maybe it can at-least start the conversation. I wish you nothing but the best and good luck with your Husband 🙏🏾

@@chumbanga thank you! That’s a great idea and he also agreed to do couples counseling so I feel hopeful things can improve :) appreciate your kind words and encouragement!

YES! After so much rejection you finally quit initiating then you REALLY never get any. More than likely tho it is him & not you. He could have a low libido, low testosterone, depression, exhaustion, etc. . I never knew a man was fine with going 2 months without but mine is & I know it’s not me. He has horrible sleep apnea & works all the time so I think that’s a major part. He just had a sleep study last night & if this don’t fix it he better be going to the Dr or his meals gonna start being blue…😝

It never gets better. Walk away right now.

I feel exactly the same way

Have you heard a word called divorce?

@@fullclipaudio cap, communication

@@spr6317 you be throwing the word divorce so easily, is about communication, ppl get married bc they want to spend the rest of their lives together, they love each other, is about communication and willingness to work on things together

Michelle! You are amazing. Amazing speech :) Like you, I believe that individuals can change the world and make it better one by one, bit by bit. And you've just spread your 'communicable disease' to over half a million of us! You've brightened up my week so much more for that. Thank you for being you and pursuing your passion. You are inspiring.

butter cup You are very kind! I'm so glad that your week feels bright. Thanks for your generous, heartfelt feedback!

I've often said that war would end if everyone just got laid!

Raederle Phoenix I "love" your attitude !! ; )

By the way, I observe thru my own marriage that in a relationship the one who loves less controls the relationship. Please Michele comment on my following observations: 1) In a society where women are protected by law and convention, the wives or girlfriends are the main decision makers. Eg. If a male wants a truck, and the woman wants a sedan. They will buy a sedan. My conjecture is that middle income families are matriarchal, but the lower and upper income families are patriarchal. I have done random samples of 7 women and 5 agreed with me. This is just anecdotal and not scientific. MY conjecture is based on the males who desire sex more than women, but seems to contradict with what you said. Are there any peer reviewed research on this? 2) Because of my difficult marriage, I finally went to see a registered seasoned female psychologist, and within 10 minutes, she told me something unbelievable: that women do not forgive or forget, and that they are very verbal (they like to argue). I was astounded and frankly speechless for I would have never guessed such a gender difference. Again, I did anecdotal survey and there was consensus. 3) I don't remember the source of: most women feel that they are right most of the times. Again, I did anecdotal survey and there was consensus. The reason I surprised by the above conjectures is that I had 3 girlfriends when I got married, but never spent much time with each of them. So when I got married, I basically went from mother to my wife, and therefore had very little experience with women. when I found our marriage so difficult, I assumed it was due to our incompatibilities but not anything to do with gender differences. Oh, I forgot, my wife is self confessed perfectionist and she is very proud of that!! Would appreciate a reply. Thanks

Tell me about it.

That's exactly how wives treat their husbands and their marriage. "I've got him by the balls. I make the rules. I decide how this relationshit works"

Dreaming Music husbands do that too , in my experience

100% AGREE

True

At least when you are alone, every day brings the possibility of meeting someone.

Same thing

My feelings also, half way through a 60 odd year marriage and still hopeing.

Ahhh the dismissive avoidant wife. The worst of the bunch.

​@@kodeh7931I dunno, my dismissive avoidant husband was pretty heartbreaking. Esp since our society tells me all the time that men are kind of walking around wanting to screw every woman they see.

Your comment really spoke to my experience. 😢

No, they aren't

I can confirm I am. It's sad, but the top comments really are true. The people that NEED to see this as part of a relationship usually either won't or dismiss it as a nuisance. It really is tragic how something so simple can uproot and destroy families.

That's why we searched this

Not true. I want to fix my marriage with my husband desperately. But it's extremely hard.. 😒

@@aprils.r8418 just it of curiosity, which side of the equation are you on?

I totally empathise with you Natalie

Jeremy Fraser I’m sorry you can, but it is nice to know you aren’t alone you know

@@natalie9884 yes - ditto - well lets hope things improve for us both! good luck

@natalie the menopause fairy came. it wasn't a choice she made, rather kind of something that happened. at least that's the way she tells it.

Right there with you.

Hi Jen, have you come across the book Cupid's poisoned arrow?

Great point.

We're here hahah

here🎉😂

they probably wouldnt understand it, but atleast would be aware of the danger and remember to get help when the icicles start forming!

Hang in there. Don't stop fighting

@@Nero_790 p

Did mine too until I had these surgeries and she stepped up to the task

It started to kill mine too but somehow we found the magic again. It's a careful dance of courtship and fulfillment. One can't just expect it but also needs to be intuitive and both parties need to live to fulfill eachothers needs.

Wake up each day with just one goal, if you manage two things, then it's a great day.

Melanie V og så har

Benjaminr77880@Gmail.comre I hear you brother. Yep financial slaves yet she can withold affection and uses the smallest transgressions to do so

Melanie V

Melanie V Agree wholeheartedly!!

Amen

I didn't even bother asking her to watch, I know the answer ahead of time. The story this woman tells of John and Mary is a touching one, but as with anyone else, it takes two who are willing to talk and listen to the other. When one doesn't, that leads to resentment, which is cancerous to any form of intimacy.

You are not alone. I think some women and take their husbands for granted. But yet they want us to remain faithful. When needs aren't being met.

..-and many husbands don’t date their wives like they did before the marriage

Debbie. Dump him! He controls your relationship

@@thewrongshoes: First, I can't believe I am talking to another Smoot. Second, if the man stops opening the car door for his wife, he has made one of the biggest, but simplest mistakes of his life, and the marriage suffers for such discourtesy that was once a very important act when love was new.

Rejection sucks

@@Yeawhateva I wish it sucked.........haha

Why didn't you divorce? That's not a marriage.

My parents have slept in seperate rooms for 30 years? Just don't get married, be single and enjoy your life and go after those dreams. Your partner will usually keep you from achieving this.

Sleeping in seprate rooms isn't solution. In fact, probably will only increase the distance between you and make things worst.

Yeah I have completely given up, I make her atleast cuddle me at this point, because she won't cuddle up to me lol

if she doesn't want to cuddle you forcing her doesn't help. Because she will come to you with that resistant negative energy.

Like, I know in my mind I'm an attractive man, but i feel at this moment just despicable

let's face it, our personal energy to invest in "trying" (whatever that is), is not unlimited. Eventually we kind of make different priorities, but I remember the words to an Eagles song: "I guess every form of refuge has its price..."

And maybe it is something about "age" that gives you a more complete picture of HOW MUCH DAMAGE that rejection has done. Of course when it first happens, you do not have years (or decades) of reflection about it, to represent the impact of the loss, such as it ultimately appears to be. I was told, decades ago by a wise mentor that such losses "still are remembered but eventually you realize that you can thing about them and it doesn't hurt anymore." Or maybe just doesn't hurt AS MUCH or hurts differently. I dunno, I'm still doing the labs for that lecture series.

@Reggie Rendon suppose all of those "women" thought the same thing about you.

@Reggie Rendon I give up, how do you treat a complete stranger with "love and respect" especially if that stranger appears somehow attractive to you? Amid this love and respect I'm guessing that there might be some impulse to convey that sensation of attraction. For extra points, distinguish that from a complete stranger in which you have no particular mating-interest but do have some reason to elsewise interact.

Me too ...

And how many times was she rejected with the emotional needs?

Billy Moss 😏

Yes, it really is.😞😢

Do you constantly reject her when she asks you to do things like go here or go there?

Yep, this is me. Too much drama from him including personal attacks and I don’t feel like taking care of him

@@LenaL146 😨

@@LenaL146 It's not worth it to stay in a loveless & toxic marriage. I stayed in a bad marriage because i was very attached to my Border Collie & once he died, i filed for divorce and moved out of the house. The last 2 years of my marriage were sexless & i avoided her like the plauge. Slept in my mancave & bought my own food, etc.

@@richardmilliken8705 that's sucks brother, but much respect on staying for your Border Collie in it's late stage. I had a similar situation, where I moved back in with an ex so that we could both take care of our sick dog for it's final months alive.

Yes. When it's not resolved the attraction fades, making a resolution more challenging. One can lose the motivation to even initiate anymore. I guess even then there's a chance but it takes a good sit down and honest talking. That's not always easy of course

Ditto...over and over.

Dan Hulsizer

Exactly

Karin Brosnick I can't even remember how many ways I've tried to tell my wife this.

@@deanb024 maybe sometimes TELLING does not get something across, where SHOWING might.

Divorce starts in the minds and transforms through actions

Very true❤️

no the main cause of divorce is the death of communication, on one spouse or both spouses are not willing to compromise and worse one or both spouses put their own selfish needs before their spouses need.

Very True...

I TOTALLY agree!!

After 23 years together and no intimacy of ANY kind for the the last 6-7 years, I can't deal with it anymore. I still love her, but it hurts so much. I'm leaving in 2 weeks.

@@keithcliver1041 I’m so sorry to hear that. I wish you the best on your new journey. 💗

Agreed. Have you come across the book Cupid's poisoned arrow?

Asexual people exist and are living very well that way I think

Don t worry.....there are millions in life on this planet who also go single trew life also don t know what intimacy is anymore...

Its not just women feeling this way trust me

That’s my life too...

You dont have to stay unhappy. No one has to or should have to. Make the change. Leave him and find someone youre better suited with. It really is that simple when you break it down. And its not selfish either. Having said this though, snoring is a form of sleep apnea that defnitely affects a man's libido. That is a well documented fact. You may want to get that checked out as it could be the source of your problems. Just Google sleep apnea or snoring and low libido.

What a waste...you're a beauty.

Hi dearest beloved sister Allah Karim bless you and your family turn always 2 creator always kind n merciful to help us not 2 worry 2 only happy always ameen 🇸🇦🌹🇸🇦❤🇸🇦👑👌👍🤲☝️💖💝💘💛🧡🇸🇦

Gary Flater this is heartbreaking

Life is too short to live that way.

My soul is destroyed

Imagine how lonely it is to be violated by your spouse...

Yep!! Don’t know how many times I have had that conversation or made it known for it change for a short while to go back to what it was before and worse.

instead of cheating, why don't you either get a divorce or tell her you're going to stay married but sleep around? that way you don't have to lie or hide anything

Leave her. Simple as

As others say, just get a divorce. If you don't have children together, this is the only moment you can take that decision without hurting anyone.

Everyone has the right to feel loved. I would almost think of it as an obligation to yourself. You have to let yourself be free of the nonparticipating spouse and allow yourself to experience the love you want with another. When your spouse detaches from you physically they have left you. Unless you have caused this somehow, it means your spouse has an issue - many people have problems with intimacy. Some people are just really physically lazy as well. If there are reasons to stay married, then I believe in the legal marriage and happiness found outside of it. There is no single right way to live. Find your best way past the situation. Live fully. No marriage can be made with a nonparticipating spouse, it's just a room mate. Don't worry about what others think. You can tell them to go ahead and step into your life if they think you should remain without physical love. You shouldn't.

Amen

Or send he/ she to be with Someone else! That gives them Attention! Be careful!

You wise little thing.

And handed them a free pass to get that need elsewhere.

@@mariaaugustavieira6721 and the spouse that seeks that attention elsewhere will be considered at fault and looked down upon. While the other gets a pass

Is it really cheating if you stray and she hasn't given any affection or love to you in a year? What exactly are you cheating on?

dammit

Wise words. Damn it i care too much.

There’s always one who loves more.

That is so true and something I learned 20 years ago. And then the one in control -who doesn't care- will put the blame on her/his partner .

It happens a Lot

I know where you are coming from when 2 people get over comfortable but all it takes to get the spark back is a simple surprise here and there like one single rose or a surprise picnic - complement her hair how she looks so forth

Hello, Carol, How are you doing today?

I believe that is a very common ending.thanks

14 yrs for me. She found out how other men treat women. Put out or get out. A spoiled stay at home mom 33 yrs I got treated like wet news paper.

I got a lot NOs from my wife and we r only in our 30s. Tired, kids, overtime, headache, not in the mood, want to sleep, etc. so many excuses.

After 34yrs a lot of work and time. Just confusing i work hard and provide. I guess i still need to work on myself or try and communicate with my spouse but i can't continue to feel alone.

@@nicolathonathan770 Doesn't sound like excuses to me. It sounds like legitimate reasons. Also a sleep deprived mother in my 30s.

Sometimes starting off by just doing it leads a person to realizing they really want it. It works that way for millions of people.

I agree desire is key to being excited

PERFECT... WE ALL WANT TO BE WANTED. IT MAKES THE GIVING BETTER.

Like just doing you a favor

The WANT follows the DOING. As she forces HERSELF (NOT you forcing her), she will BEGIN TO WANT IT MORE & MORE. NOW YOU GOT ME USING ALL CAPS WHEN I'M NOT EVEN MAD LOL!!!

Get out! It’s more than just ripping the bandaid off it’s like ripping stitches out. But those stitches are infected and there is no hospital. Rip the stitches out. You will find someone that you are happier with. It may be yourself.

Been there and still am. Lucky for divorce lawyer.

If you still love her, tell her. I love you and I want to share this video with you. I am not saying its me or you, I’m just saying this video got me thinking we’re not enjoying each other as much as we use to. And I miss the feeling of you. Just my humble opinion

@@shirttail1725 I like the idea, but it is very naive.

@@shirttail1725 That was for Keith right?

I am the same but don't want another man in my life.

Learn game brother

If married couples only know how to respect the feelings of other, life would be beautiful.

25 for me

10 for me

+Victoria Pierce Read The Sex-Starved Wife. You will not feel alone because you are NOT alone. I hope your partner watches the talk.

+Michele Weiner-Davis Thank you for posting this video!!! I am struggling for two years with this issue. Could not stop crying while watching the video and seeing myself in that same situation.

Me too 😢😢😢 but I'm only 24 and we've only been married a month. 😞 been together almost 7 yrs and it's already getting tough 😔

I feel your pain as if it were my own. My boyfriend is on a lot of medication and recently suffered the loss of a friend of 25+ years. Both of these things affect a man's desire and performance. I am learning to NOT internalize the rejection, that just because he isn't interested in sex doesn't necessarily mean that he isn't still interested in me as a person. There is far more to our relationship than the mind-blowing sex that we so rarely have. I have recently been talking to my second husband. Talking with him has caused me to view my current relationship in a more forgiving light. I may often not get my needs met, but he tries hard and often makes overt gestures toward my need for contact. While it may be true that I could get more of my needs met by another, I am getting all that my Joe has to give. For the moment, it's enough.

+Victoria Pierce intimacy is 30% touch. as a guy with higher sex drive 70% of intimacy is emotional.

Hi Madonna, it’s a good video. Good comment by you. Greetings from Ireland ☘️. Best wishes for a lovely day 😊🙏 Michael

Wow.... so it is not only I who feels this way. Thanks so very much for sharing such an intimate, such an extremely personal thought. Strange that sharing pain does seem to make it lesser....

Totally agree!

​@@Michael-bf1dt😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊kk o😅z z, jj. Aa in j

leave. plan it. execute. I did it to protect myself and ultimately my children. I did everything possible to protect the relationship with children for both parents and found a new live in my life and life has never been better.

have you come across the book Cupid's poisoned arrow?

How long did it take to recover? And what was required to recover?

@@dennisrobinson8008 Hey Dennis. Well, of course it's better if you stay busy and talk to somebody else about what you feel, this really helps a lot. In my case, it's been a year since I am alone and I still think about her, though not with a painful feeling now. I get angry, sometimes nostalgic, but you'll eventually move on and get over the person. I think that I will never forget her, but her memory is increasingly less problematic. Be patient.

@@celedonio23 It can help,, you know what's even better than that? Having fun and a great love life with someone who can't get enough of you. It feels in that hole she tore into you and rebuilds your self esteem. As long as we don't move on to having good love lives we remain EXACTLY WHERE THEY PLACED US. They PLACED US intentionally, think about that....

Never stay in a bad marriage "for the kids", either-it's destructive for them. The recovery is like any other event you grieve about. Patience and self-love will get you through...eventually!😃

AMEN!! You got it.

Cleatus, do you find your spouse physically attractive? sexy, desirable? if so is it because of who she is, her personality, or because you see it with your eyes and feel it physically?

h in

This just hit home..

@ Lordfinesse Why are you so angry?? He is being honest he is telling his truth.

I am so sorry I'm in the same boat It's sad and frustrating

@clean cyclist Divorce her. Now.

Am the opposite. Living with a selfish narcissistic personality disordered husband. Never wants it.

it just shows you it was worth moving on well done

Wait til you have kids

@@jsharkee We have 4 combined.

Lucky. We cannot blame the disinterested. We may appreciate the limitation and move aside..if that is possible

so i'm not in the mood now. how about next week... love you..

EGD 🗣🗣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

No...that's called appeasement

NO! I DON'T WANT TO BE INTIMATE WITH YOU.... but how about a nice blender?

@@thegreatbamboozler4837 Can I interest you in this lifetime supply of Turtle Wax?

mag steel that is so true, because they can walk away anytime they choose, WOW that kind of hurt goes deep!

it is ironic that the ultimate power in a relationship seems to lie in not caring who has the power.

The pressure is on the side that actually cares..

Not true in my case

@@gschneider225 I think you still care. Jesus can help you. He loves you more than you know.

Word for word exactly my thoughts and experience as well. This was the most valuable TED talk I have ever watched, as well as being, in my opinion, the single most valuable piece of advice for maintaining the connection, health and longevity within a marriage!

You should have married someone more attractive.

@@andrewdevine3920 Shame on both of you

I'm glad this video has helped open your eyes, it takes a lot to admit when you're wrong.

@@andrewdevine3920 No, it was my own fault and sin. I was selfish and acted as if only my needs mattered. Take your rudeness about my husband elsewhere. He is amazing. I don't deserve a man so loving. 💔

@@victoriaadkins3729 Yeah, it was this and God that did it. The Bible tells spouses not to deprive each other for a reason. 😉

Hi Brain, how is your relationship going? Have you come across the book Cupid's poisoned arrow?

Without intimacy my relationship died years ago

I doubt it will last

@@josephercastor8026 wow. You must be fun at parties. 😂

@@Dbb27 i liked your comment. Nobody else did. But they did like my comment because they agree We are experienced at this. Women break up to make up as well, they need drama or they get bored.

@@Dbb27 ive gotten the woman of my dreams by the way which means im successful.

@@josephercastor8026 many women have been in abusive situations. Once one gets used to that it feels normal. My second husband, now of almost twenty years, and the love of my life didn’t feel ‘right’. I almost ended the relationship the first year. Fortunately I sat myself down and figured it out. I was so used to crazy from my prior that something felt off. Thank goodness I had worked on myself enough to figure it out. You call it boredom, I call it patterns of known and therefore comfortable behavior; even if it’s detrimental drama. It’s why women in abusive relationships end up back in another abusive relationship. ‘It felt like I knew him all my life’. Yup, run!

Soo sad! don’t commit suicide for a damn man Who don’t want you or appreciate you. I think you should work on yourself look beautiful always and show him you can get any man you want. 🖕🏽him!

@@BlushNa This does seem worth a try.

I wouldn't reject you.

I felt that 😥 thats why I've been sleeping in another room for the last year.... im not any less lonely or deprived but slightly less sad

This is how I feel with my wife. I think she goes to sleep a couple hours after me to avoid the subject. And I only ask maybe twice per week, not like I'm asking every day. The constant rejection because she has a headache is so annoying.

+Jeff Sadowski Thank you so much! I appreciate your kind feedback. I'm glad you liked the talk.

@@micheleweiner-davis5198 you were outstanding!

Truly the best TED talk I've seen

Jordan McNeely Thank you so much for your support of my work! I have the couples in my practice watch it too when appropriate. Let me know how it goes!

+Michele Weiner-Davis I really, really need help with this in my marriage. I don't know if you conduct sessions over the internet or not, but I'd be willing to pay you any amount of money I can, I am desperate, I'll do anything. Please, if you can help me, please contact me.

So ... you agree ... it's all the husband's fault.

@ in the video she clearly states that the roles are, a significant amount of the time, reversed. so much so that she calls it one of the 'best kept secrets'. and anyway, she never once said it's only 1 persons fault. it's a two way street. idk what video you watched, but it doesn't seem to be this one.

Hello Jordan How are you doing

I'm so sorry to hear that! Was it kinda bad from the beginning or it just deteriorated?

Hello Rick How are you doing

Im sorry to hear that Rick. hope you are doing well.

Hi Mariana, has it gotten better for you?

So true

Exactly right!!! It’s even worse when you have the talk many times and refuse to fix the problem.

If I may ask, how did she respond?

@@osakadude honestly something kind of clicked in her, which made me happy, which made her happy. Shared the video with some friends, hopefully they have the same emotional reaction too. Good luck ❤️

​@@AirArtStudiosOfficialaweh happy it worked out.

@@ashleybellerose7104 5 days later. Still talking :) ❤️

@@AirArtStudiosOfficial how much has she put out since watching the video? That is the true test

You can choose carefully and take your time but truth is that people change every day, week, year, life event to life event. There is no telling what our responses to certain experiences will be. I believe that you need to grow and change, sometimes together and sometimes individually but always respecting each other. No one in their 50's is the same person they were in their 20's

*+Yolie Valdivia-Nungaray* So very very true.

@@yolievaldivia-nungaray3765 Be in a relationship for at least 2 years with the person before you marry.

@@valken666 married almost 21 yrs and dated 7... people still change😉

Mark Kelley Yeah, but isn't LOVE, BLIND???

yes it can happen both ways

I can so relate to you. It's like I'm reading about me

She did say it can affect both men as well as women.

Either way it is painful.either one must go early for Counselling and set it right or part ways.

Hello...

Do you need help in any of this areas get your crush attention get your ex back

( Dr Gabriel) he is the best when it comes In recovery of relationship.he helped me

Text...... him ....via ...WhatsApp... would .......explain .....how it works + 1 2 6 0 2 7 5 5 1 6 0

step 2. now what.

***** - It's a beautiful thing you're doing. Especially now people are so wrapped up in their own individual bubbles that they forget about how they affect the world around them. We live in a society where we're supposedly more connected by technology, when instead it's allowed us to become even more isolated from each other. Thanks for the reminder to reconnect with each other.

Maggie O'Shea Thanks again. Reconnect.....that's what's really important. You're right! :-)

Yes, they fully realize how much damage it causes, that's the point. They just don't care...........

@@maggieoshea7660 Hi Maggie, do you have any updates. From 8 years ago you must have recovered?

Wow, Hannah, thanks for your honesty. You are courageous. I hope your husband appreciates you!

0985181054 zalo xes

How have things been since your realization? I'm interested to hear real life results

Me too... I am changing today.

@@micheleweiner-davis5198 whatvkind of line is that, I hope your husband appreciates you, thier husband and wife, he hung around despite the fact he's rejected every other night, he should get a sainthood for crying out loud. I'll never get married again youse are all frigging crazy. Woman

Tess Taylor Bravo! You get it. Thanks.

Ñ

Tess Taylor yes agreed. My answer was, after 25 years, a divorce

Spot on🙏🏻😘

Best comment on here!

your "whipped" in the situation. Some of them like feeling that power.

+144Donn And thank YOU for your kind and thoughtful feedback. I'm glad you feel validated!

Very insightful comment - it is typically men in this position though there are also women who have this awful experience of staring at the ceiling and feeling totally alone while the person you love is right next to them. Brilliant talk indeed and good insight on where to go from there. I hope you are in a better place.

You are right : worldwide 17 women are in that position.

DirkDucat guess I'm 1 of 17 then

I guess I am one of the 17 too then

Tragic

RIGHT I HAVE BEEN SAYING THIS FOR YEARS."THE LONGER YOU ARE MARRIED THE MORE YOU BECOME LIKE BROTHER AND SISTER

Very sad.

I'm right there with you brother. The slow death of intimacy over the 24 years of our marriage has morphed my relationship with my wife into little more than a "domestic partnership". She's still my best friend but we haven't been more than superficially intimate in many years. I manage to guilt her into the occasional quickie but there's no real connection, and she makes it plainly obvious that she'd rather be doing virtually anything else. I haven't felt wanted or desired in such a long time that infidelity on my part is only a matter of time. I don't want my marriage to end, but I can see it coming and I see no way of preventing it.

@@robillardjosh i feel the same. I've talked to her about it and she simply replies " I'm just not interested " I've never felt so lonely. It also angers me that she knows it's important to me and still doesn't care. Even if she offered now i wouldn't want to just knowing how little i mean to her.

I’m sorry. It’s a terrible situation

You're free, my brother.

Sorry to hear

Robin Hooper , if you don't do it, you'll never know if it could have made a difference. Go out and get her back! Good luck.

You have made the break, don't go over old ground, it will mostly disappoint and hurt all the more. Try new pastures, it will be the best path to take. If you were still married yes try it, but to be rejected again will kill you inside. Take care.

First, ask your husband to watch this video with you. Then, read, The Sex-Starved Wife. There will be many ideas in that book for you. Hang in there, Michele

Same here.

Same here

Has it gotten better?

@@CarolinHauser Jesus loves you

It sounds like the connection you have with yourself is stronger than the one you had with her. Feeling alone while not being physically alone is a horrible place to be, so I am happy you are feeling better now

I left after 12 years. I experienced exactly what you did - once I was alone, I felt less alone. So sad that the other one is so unavailable.

congratulations, you experience what 80% of husbands experience.

Were you able to talk about that since you commented this?

@@alobpreis still in the same situation. He refuses to talk. I'm still here because despite this issue I do love him.

@@BTmomma I know I'm not more than a random user on UKposts, but you deserve to be happy, to be with someone who cares about you. Why don't you seek for help? Something like Couples therapy, maybe he will hear somebody else? Do not resign to live like that.

@@BTmomma You are so loved, Jesus died for you. You are worth the blood of a King. He rose on the 3day, he gives true Peace, love and joy. "Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls.For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.” Matthew 11: 28-30

Thank you very much. I appreciate your feedback.

Michele Weiner-Davis BBC

Michele Weiner-Davis I really enjoyed your talk and wish I could schedule an appointment to see you.

Nothing new here. Man = bad; woman = perfection. Been hearing that for over 50 years now.

@ wow, you missed a LOT ! and probably have for over 50 years.

Sad to hear. Love is everything. Divorce leaves a wake of destruction for years and the blast radius miles long and deep. I'm certain you'll express yourself clearly next time around as you have over the yrs w/ your spouse.. If your potential spouse understands, they will not be void of "listening" and sharing their intimate feelings esp as a Man. Best...

Could there be a physical issue? Poor diet? Stress?

Update: Things are always improving :) Hang in there (mostly fellas)

Rob Nielsen yahsureyabetcha!

Rob Nielsen I believe because many are straying outside of marriage

@@rjaqueline2378 People take their partners for granted

Quite common????

@@nihilisticbarbie This. It's not always cheating. It's drifting and talkng each other for granted. I did, she did. It still hurts how she stopped touching me, how she seemingly didn't find me attractive any more. My touches were never reciprocated and I never really found out why. We would go away together and still nothing would happen. I wish we'd had couple's counselling.

Thank you! Rejection hurts. That's for sure.

AquiredCents You are right, sometimes roles are reversed. Please have your fiance watch the video. Ask her to do it as a favor. It will help! Hang in there...

Michele Weiner-Davis This point is what I am working on right now with my own life... trying to make him understand that rejection is very painful. It only adds to the gap between us. Even when he does not see how bad it hurts me, I am still hurting internally and pulling away emotionally. The rejection is very painful and there are not even words to express how bad it cuts inside... I enjoyed your talk, thank you for doing what you do!

But it's OK to reject men, so ....

But... most people are repeatedly rejected.

That is super sad and a message to all of us that we need to find a way to interrupt the cycle so that it doesn't describe us!

@@tanyawadley1822 Amen

Very common in traditionalist society, the most important thing is being married for many years, being happy and fulfilled is not important

Mine too.

Mine as well. 😔

Not just you bro... mine too... thankfully, my former colleague suddenly came back to town after migrating, she's divorced now then she's now my gf. My wife doesn't need to know... ;) atleast now I'm satisfied and happy.

Me too. Almost 10yrs. Refused all that I suggested.

Mine too

Hi Seminole, I am so sorry to hear! Has it gotten better?