What Happens to Sex in Midlife? A Look at the “Bedroom Gap” | Maria Sophocles

What Happens to Sex in Midlife? A Look at the “Bedroom Gap” | Maria Sophocles | TED

Місяць тому

Menopause isn't just hot flashes, says gynecologist and sexual medicine specialist Maria Sophocles. It's often accompanied by overlooked symptoms like painful sex or loss of libido. Shedding light on what she calls the "bedroom gap," or the difference in sexual expectations of men and women in midlife due to societal norms, Sophocles advocates for education, medical advancement and a new understanding of menopause - because sex should be pleasurable and comfortable for everyone.
If you love watching TED Talks like this one, become a TED Member to support our mission of spreading ideas: ted.com/membership
Follow TED!
X: / tedtalks
Instagram: / ted
Facebook: / ted
LinkedIn: / ted-conferences
TikTok: / tedtoks
The TED Talks channel features talks, performances and original series from the world's leading thinkers and doers. Subscribe to our channel for videos on Technology, Entertainment and Design - plus science, business, global issues, the arts and more. Visit TED.com to get our entire library of TED Talks, transcripts, translations, personalized talk recommendations and more.
Watch more: go.ted.com/mariasophocles
• What Happens to Sex in...
TED's videos may be used for non-commercial purposes under a Creative Commons License, Attribution-Non Commercial-No Derivatives (or the CC BY - NC - ND 4.0 International) and in accordance with our TED Talks Usage Policy: www.ted.com/about/our-organiz.... For more information on using TED for commercial purposes (e.g. employee learning, in a film or online course), please submit a Media Request at media-requests.ted.com
#TED #TEDTalks #sex #menopause

КОМЕНТАРІ: 92

@angelaagustin8321 16 днів тому

Wow!!! Amazing! Great information and insight!!!

@99UrBud Місяць тому

Thank you 💗

@normasouza8154 День тому

Excellent, video! Thanks!❤

@fabestrada470 День тому

This is also stand-up comedy class, she’s my idol now 😂👏

@China-129 Місяць тому

Grief can be the garden of compassion. If you keep your heart open through everything, your pain can become your greatest ally in your life's search for love and wisdom. -Rumi✍🏻🌿

@China-129 Місяць тому

If you are looking for a friend who is faultless, you will be friendless. -Rumi✍🏻🌿

@China-129 Місяць тому

To that person who has suffered a lot in relationships, may the Lord send you a partner who will love you forever❤️

@debandrews7415 28 днів тому

wonderful

@manfredschmalbach9023 28 днів тому

"When You come to that age, my Dear, Your pretty pink-ish, magnetic rose will deteriorate to some sorry, indifferent slate gray no man will even look for, let alone desire." After loosing the love of my life to menopause, I never heard that cruel, inhumane joke mother nature hits her daughters with summed up better, or more precise for that matter. At least trying to change that is maybe one of the really important fields in gynocentric medical research - even with quite some of 'em probably just passionlessly concluding "what a blessing that this inconvenient drive is finally over !"

@MrSpikethefirst 28 днів тому

How did you lose the love of your life to menopause?

@manfredschmalbach9023 28 днів тому

@@MrSpikethefirst She lost her spirit, her health, her love she used to ooze out to the world, her looks, her countenance, her seggs-drive, her sanity, and turned into an unbearable, miserable, nagging menace of some sort. She lost her job (employer couldn't carry on threatening their customership with her "new personality" without having considerable losses), she lost her formerly successful Yoga studio she had for over 20 years as a sidehustle when none of the regulars wanted to renew their contracts anymore due to her "new personality". None of the random newbies wanted to come back again after their first lesson or course, either. I tried a lot to help her finding her sanity and health again, but she never even saw an endocrinologist or a gynaecologist once and tried to blame it all on me and her children and her mother and her two brothers and whatnot - had to end it when she upgraded her attitude from petty insults to downright dangerous violence. Got a restraining order, threw her out, put her stuff in storage and changed the locks when she was out of town for a weekend. "Traumatizing" was an understatement.

@leoreegan78 24 дні тому

14:14 minutes - It's lovely to hear from someone who's an expert in the sexual health arena. It resonates with our life well and the entire minutes are on to the point. I would love to build a network with these extraordinary people.

@evoke2976 23 дні тому

Is it wrong for a guy to watch this? I feel like I'm peeping into women's secret girl talk

@mariaantoniettamontella9173 29 днів тому

super

@micro8106 4 дні тому

Compare with my countries, when we talking about sexual issues in the public, almost of the people are feeling shame and shy. Because they have fix-opinion that sexual issue is privacy between male and female. through this video, I was shock because it gives the information for Generation X how to have a better sexual method. This is relatively different in my homeland. We don't teach how to improve your sexual issues, we just prevent the sexual behaviour for them. After I see this video, I consider that society need to change the point-view about sexual issues.

@soonerarrow Місяць тому

Thanks, Doc. My love, age 50, has quietly said it hurts a few times over the last year, even with my/our normal Circus Clown/Zorro swordplay/Cowboy Up/Gene Simmons treatment beforehand, dryness was the cause, applying slippery was the immediate solution each time however; we're watching this tonight together and then calling her gyne tomorrow. She, like many women and men both, has struggled with acknowledging the arrival of this milestone of mid-life because we're healthy, active physically and mentally and haven't needed persistent daily prescription meds for chronic problems. Honestly, I truly never want hear that small, beautiful voice say those words again when I know I'm the cause.

@kenndygm6277 Місяць тому

Comment of your actually help my extend horizon. Thank, Doc because shares professedly it’s extremely positive and making for my family blissful better ❤

@manfredschmalbach9023 28 днів тому

*_YOU_* are cause .....?

@MaybeYoureRight-1234 Місяць тому

TED😅 We mortals, men and women, devour many a disappointment between breakfast and dinner-time; keep back the tears and look a little pale about the lips, and in answer to inquiries say, “Oh, nothing!” Pride helps; and pride is not a bad thing when it only urges us to hide our hurts- not to hurt others. Thank you😅

@janelleetsitty36 29 днів тому

Estrace Cream will cure the ring of fire

@jackwang7101 Місяць тому

nice

@Welcome-421 Місяць тому

“Women don’t go to war to kill other women. Wars and armies and nuclear weapons are essentially heterosexual hobbies.” - Steven Morrissey

@lairec5928 6 днів тому

Omg! I like it!!

@melissamartyn7541 29 днів тому

vagina oestrogen did cause a rise in BP in me!

@nicolebalm6116 28 днів тому

What is BP? Thank you!

@Welcome-421 Місяць тому

Love from Canada 🇨🇦 "We do know that thousands of indigenous women, girls and 2SLGBTQQIA (two-spirit, lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgendered, queer, questioning, intersex and asexual) have been lost to the Canadian genocide to date," said the report, titled "Reclaiming Power and Place". OPINION: Why is the pope not apologising to Canada's indigenous people? by Andrew Mitrovica

@Welcome-421 Місяць тому

"The fact that First Nations, Inuit and Metis peoples are still here and that the population is growing should not discount the charge of genocide." The report added that due to "the gravity of the issue," the inquiry was preparing a "supplementary report on the Canadian genocide of indigenous peoples according to the legal definition of genocide, which will be posted at a later date. CBC said it contains more than 230 recommendations.

@Welcome-421 Місяць тому

The inquiry was the culmination of years of lobbying by native leaders, activists and victims' families seeking to know why possibly thousands of indigenous women were murdered or have gone missing over the past three decades. Indigenous women represent four percent of Canada's population but accounted for up to 16 to 24 percent of homicide victims during the period, said the report's authors. Canada's Lost Women The commissioners held 24 hearings across Canada over the past 2.5 years and heard from more than 2,000 witnesses, including family members of missing or murdered women, survivors of violence, experts and officials.

@MaybeYoureRight-1234 Місяць тому

The report concluded that indigenous women faced a disproportionately high level of violence through 'state actions'. According to official estimates, almost 1,200 women and girls went missing or were killed between 1980 and 2012. •[Kevin Frayer/AP file]😅

@jeffmilligan 29 днів тому

Though there are far more missing and murdered aboriginal boys and men. Explain that.

@user-ik9zv2ih4s 29 днів тому

❤

@Ahero0fAfrica-6789 Місяць тому

I was once a homophobe who bought into the lies of African leaders who blamed the West for homosexuality. -Tafi Mhaka

@Ahero0fAfrica-6789 Місяць тому

"This long-standing myth of American racism, tied to its obsession with Black sexuality, is harming women to this day." -Edna Bonhomme❤

@Ahero0fAfrica-6789 Місяць тому

"Despite all this, today young people’s right to quality sexuality education and information is under attack." -Alexander de Croo, Lindiwe Zulu & Memory Zonde-Kachambwa

@Ahero0fAfrica-6789 Місяць тому

India needs new laws to tackle the so-called 'honour crimes' which attempt to control women's sexuality and choices, writes *Kavita Krishnan*

@stuy18 Місяць тому

The medical industry not spending any time on actually helping women with women specific issues? Here’s an unpopular opinion….maybe if they spent less time debating “what is a woman?” And more time actually taking care of actual women….well, that would be a good freakin start.

@thisisntallowed9560 Місяць тому

As a liberal, leftist and queer ally, I totally agree! Conservatives are so obsessed with gender, if they just stopped talking back about it we would have moved on a long time ago!

@keittomaster 29 днів тому

The medical industry is not debating… it’s the politicized activists who do. Just shut yourself off from social media and you’ll notice that the real world is pretty ok.

@manfredschmalbach9023 28 днів тому

They invest and research *_a lot_* in the field of fancy overpriced longterm drugs against foul female moods ..... which are sold way more successful _without_ delivering a cure for the issues Maria Sophocles picked as her theme here ..... "follow the money" does help with understanding I reckon.

@connieregan8373 28 днів тому

Yeah but Viagara. Is shyt

@samuelseefeld 27 днів тому

From my point of view, leftists seem to be a lot more strongly opinionated on gender related issues than conservatives.

@ImranAli-zx8fp День тому

❤❤❤❤❤

@user-zn8lo9om7y 26 днів тому

Sh!t I'm 11 years old

@Ahero0fAfrica-6789 Місяць тому

“By targeting LGBTI communities and infusing their sexuality with religious suggestions of grotesque madness and immorality, African leaders seek to deflect attention from their political failings and crimes." -Tafi Mhaka

@ahnaf_ameer_ashraf Місяць тому

Outstanding 😮❤

@sharayutravels Місяць тому

Its wonderful talk. Talk about it! Evry medical professionals advice!

@leoveenman3674 Місяць тому

Sweet, this lecture, informative and educational. However, one thing, I always understood is that the husband/lover has to pleasure his woman. A question I have is, whether simple lubricants / creams would not sufficiently reduce the problem.

@bluedollar5423 Місяць тому

Trust me, lubrication doesn't always work. It's much more complicated than that.

@ClydsdaleVI Місяць тому

Does vaginal estrogen positively impact libido? The discussion mentioned libido but focused almost entirely on physical impact of estrogen decline.

@AuntieFa Місяць тому

Yes it does, she mentioned it in the first minute or two.

@AlternativeHomesteading Місяць тому

Another contributing factor that is rarely discussed is it a majority of the population are smokers, drink alcohol, take pharmaceutical drugs and are experiencing the negative side effects of long-term psychiatric medication. The loss of libido in both men and women including the loss of erection and the loss of lubrication is a direct correlation to taking antidepressants and antipsychotics. My menopause was uneventful. However my general practitioner thought it was wise to prescribe three, not one or two, three psychiatric medication‘s because he said when his wife was going through menopause it helped her. I can’t do not! Anybody that takes psychiatric medication for a normal developmental stage of life is not thinking in their right minds. And you can blame the medical and pharmaceutical communities for contributing to the ill health of all people in the US. People in other countries do not experience these maladies.

@manfredschmalbach9023 28 днів тому

I reckon smoking, moderately drinking or moderate druguse ain't the *_real_* problem here - people do know what they do to themselves. The real problem is what's in Your everyday's food, Your "drinking" water and Your city's air. People have not the slightest clue what they actually eat, drink and breath 24/7

@judd0112 8 днів тому

My wife is goin through it as we speak and she was so unhappy un sexual a 180° about face from the way it used to be and over night I was told don’t touch me when I have NEVER heard that from her in our 20+ year marriage. Me suggesting HRT. Was met with an aggressive response to worry about myself. Well time went by and I told her you’re wasting your life and ruining our relationship. She went to Dr and got estradiol gel and apparently it helped a little but she also came home with a prescription for PAXIL. So one step forward. 15 backwards. But apparently I have no idea what I’m talking about. Sucks.

@adamschmidt4671 Місяць тому

Here's a post to upvote, so you don't need to see the whiny misogynists

@reyran9 Місяць тому

Very insughtful and unknown thing to know😳😳 What a negatige we're living in, half of the twitter crowd has come to YT.

@Wraithss 29 днів тому

yeah, after you had that multi colored haired gender whatever thing on, ted talks are done.

@adstix Місяць тому

"There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under the heavens ... a time to be born and a time to die ..." It is simply unnatural for sexual vitality to go on and on forever! A time comes for every human when the instinct begins to wane and there's no need for alarm when that phase arrives! Let us begin to align with nature than seek to combat it!

@grapeshott Місяць тому

No idea. No experience

@eklim2034 Місяць тому

"Til gap we part"

@lauravergot9995 Місяць тому

Has she ever heard about lube? As my gynecologist put it when discussing this topic ''why use a bazooka to kill a fly? Try to catch it with a sticky fly trap first''. Why must medication be the first proposed solution? Even topical estrogen can cause side effects. On another note: pregnant and lactating women have very low estrogen too with all that comes with it. And cannot take any meds. So again: lube! And what is this piffle about doctors not being trained to talk about menopause? Are you serious? So once they leave university they stop learning? Really?! 😂 TED talk: do you even review what the speakers will say? Your standards are falling by the day.

@vjoye6136 Місяць тому

Sometimes lube doesn't help enough when there is pain caused by vaginal skin that is not elastic anymore

@SecretSilence26 Місяць тому

20% downvote, crazy 😢

@MaybeYoureRight-1234 Місяць тому

Yes I'm😅

@evad7933 Місяць тому

"Examine its root causes"😂😂😂

@wuschmeister9498 Місяць тому

Despite of raising awareness for woman pleasure needs, i can't belive how she managed to web in sexist topics towards men and women.. Trying to trigger and cash in on suggesting women are unequal to men has a feminist touch, but think about who would have the most benefit of a better sexdrive in women. Its win win! a long time i have thought better of this platform.

@libidese Місяць тому

🥹❤️❤️❤️❤️🔥🔥🔥🔥

@BrianMcInnis87 Місяць тому

*Gender* gap. The bedroom *gender* gap.

@mkk-un9nz Місяць тому

another feminism lecture

@reyran9 Місяць тому

What sort of comment is this!!

@hndrwn Місяць тому

If a "feminist lecture" can makes your wife, daughter, or sister happier isn't it a lecture worth existing? Even if not for you specificly, about half of the world's population and their partner needs to know about their biology better 😊

@RN25899 Місяць тому

Thanks for the warning!!

@theme6590 Місяць тому

@hndrwn Rhetorical question: Are you attempting to argue with, debate with, or educate🤔 Let me save you some time by directing you to some Mark Twain quotes❤

@Ghonosyphlaids Місяць тому

Imagine being the type of person who gets upset when a lecture on women's health ends up in their feed. Sad

@Dennis-uh2cu Місяць тому

what racist mambo jambo this woman displays

@handlemonium Місяць тому

Dude she's spouting gender mambo jambo not color.

@serendipity1237 Місяць тому

Racist?! Huh?! My dudes, this wasn’t “mambo jambo” of ANY kind. She was just spittin’ straight facts about female sexual health.

@Dennis-uh2cu Місяць тому

@@handlemonium racist sexist it s all the same

@manfredschmalbach9023 28 днів тому

@@Dennis-uh2cu Goldberg Greenberg Iceberg it's all the same, huh? It's what brought down the Titanic after all ....

@user-ew8xj5pg7y Місяць тому

God loves you and takes care of you so that this message reaches you. God is the one who created this great universe and has complete control over it. And the greatest loss that a person loses in this life is that he lives while he does not know God who created him, knowing the Messenger of Muhammad, the last of the messengers, and the Islamic religion, the last of the heavenly religions. The great intelligence, before you believe in something or not, is to read it, study it, and understand it well, and then you have the choice to believe in it or not. I advise you on this now before you do not have time to do that.

@WeAreDevo333 19 днів тому

Does it come with a free set of steak knives?