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Houston is an hour and a half away from Houston.

When I lived in Houston I was in a long distance relationship with a gal who also happened to live in Houston 😳True story.

As a Texan, my takeaway is that we need to raise the speed limits. If you don't feel like you're driving on the Texas Motor Speedway every time you hit the road, we did something wrong.

For your respect shown to Mattress Mack, your love of Blue Bell, and the genius idea of a repeating Whataburger/Shipley’s cityscape, we recognize you as an honorary Houstonian.

In my experience Texas is really not a southern state, it is actually a separate and sovereign nation that has an alliance with the south.

Some more fun notes about Houston from a native Texan: 1. Houston has no zoning laws. So you can and will pass a horse ranch, a strip mall, an office block, a residential development, and a light industrial site, all in the same mile stretch of avenue. 2. Related to the traffic thing, 2a. Matt must have caught Houston traffic on a good day because there are parts that can make Atlanta blush, we're talking barely moving for over an hour. The 610 Loop is legendary for this, though on last experience the Sam Houston Tollway that was built to take congestion off the Loop ain't much better these days. 2b. Even when traffic is flowing, it's Mad Max out there on the Interstates; use of turn signals is considered a sign of weakness and it's often better to signal the opposite to the lane you want to change to to fake out the dude who is gonna cut you off. 3. Houston has a light rail system. And nobody knows where it goes. Heck, half the time Houstonians forget it exists until they're crashing into the trains. 4. Houston is not just Houston. There's dozens of smaller cities that have been absorbed into the Greater Houston Metroplex. A fun local joke involves what happens when a Houston cop, a South Houston cop, a Pasadena cop, and a Webster cop all end up at a 4-way stop and deciding who goes first. 5. If you find yourself anywhere near the Fifth Ward, keep your windows rolled up and keep moving, otherwise you will be murdered. Houston is a dangerous town, and that is its most dangerous neighborhood. 6. If you wanna move there... Well, don't. But if you gotta, be aware that the Houston housing market is kinda weird in that it kind of ignores the trends throughout the rest of the nation. Like in the real estate bubble of 2008, prices never went up before the bubble burst, but after the burst they never really went down either. That said, it's not completely immune, just less so than other parts of Texas. 7. Galveston. About an hour away depending on traffic on I-45, it's our very own little slice of Key West on the Gulf. Beaches, amusement parks, cruise ships, the historic Strand, tons of museums, tons of bars, and most recently the likely new home of the battleship USS Texas. Just keep an eye on the Gulf and hope that century-old seawall will still prevent a repeat of the 1900 Storm that wiped the whole city off the map.

"3 miles from the sun". I about spit out my coffee. That is both the funniest AND most accurate description of Houston I've ever heard. Also, Pappas restaurants are Sysco dealerships.

I am a native Houstonian and I can verify all he says. Though I have to confess, I didn't know small Buc-ee's exist! Also, the No. 1 thing I love about Houston is that every ethnicity from all over the world has a community of people who live here. It is incredibly diverse! You can travel the world and never leave the city. Then again, the city is only slightly smaller than the whole world so, you're not really saving any time....

I am a lifelong (mostly) Texan, and i have NEVER heard the word "Texagon." But now i will use it every day. Thanks!

As a Houstonian, I concur with most of what you learned about us, especially being 3 miles from the sun and on fire.

Born & raised Houstonian here, and I can vouch for all the info in this video. Also, I haven't laughed so hard at being made fun of in a long time! This, folks. THIS is the kind of teasing humor that the world should embrace...not a hint of meanness or untruth here. LOVE it, Matt!

The guy who drives the MMP train is Bobby Dynamite! He is indeed a hero to all. Years ago, you would have included in the Houston Trinity Marvin Zindler, the "SLIME IN THE ICE MACHINE" guy, of Best Little Whorehouse in Texas fame. Sadly, he is no longer with us, and Dave Ward is retired, so we don't get to hear Dave say..."Thank you, Marvin", which was like knowing the Houston secret handshake.

The original buccees were small. The big stores came later. They walked so beaver nuggets could run.

I'd like to revisit the traffic observations. I've lived in all of the big four cities in Texas (Dallas, Austin, Houston, San Antonio). Dallas drivers go WAY too fast; you can't move in Austin because there's not enough infrastructure to support all the Californians and hispters; and in San Antonio, everyone's either drunk or driving too slowly in the left lane. It's only in Houston where I'm convinced the drivers are actively trying to unalive you.

I lived in Houston for 18 years. You nailed it. You did miss talking about the greatest donut ever made for mankind, Shipley's. We probably miss HEB more than anything now that we moved.

I grew up in Houston and can testify that you got the fundamentals basically nailed. The only thing I’d mention is how international the city is. It’s been an entry point for a long time, which is demonstrated by its huge cultural diversity.

Growing up in Houston, I learned the word "oppressive" from the weatherman, in describing the humidity.

Please start doing these more often. A southerners need to know what we are not missing in other states.

The Pappas Bros have been flying under the radar for awhile now, I'm surprised you noticed! They are everywhere because everything they do is GOOD. If it's Pappas it doesn't matter what kind of food it is or where it's located, it's gonna be good!

Happy you enjoyed your time in Brenham at the Blue Bell factory! If you ever go again, you need to go in March when the bluebonnets are blooming; it's a beautiful time of year!

As a current resident of a suburb just north oh Houston, I concur. I45 is a mix between NASCAR, a high speed police chase, and roller derby.

The problem with Houston traffic, 290 especially, isn’t that it’s slow. It’s that it’s filled with people who think the only way to get into Heaven is to die in a glorious car crash. Especially like the Ford F-150s, Chevy Silverados, Dodge Rams, etc. They hit the on ramp and are *immediately* possessed by the long dead spirits of WW2 kamikaze pilots.

Thank you for you kind review of our state and the City of Houston. Yes, "Matress Mac" has been around since my early childhood and is an honest and awesome businessman!

I've been around the Houston area my entire life and you are correct on everything but the traffic. You came on a good day I guess. And also, Shipleys originated here and they have the absolute best glazed donuts ever created.

#4 Don't forget the Texas-shaped cast-iron cornbread skillet!

50 miles from the Gulf and 3 miles from the Sun 😂😂😂 That awesome Matt.

I was born and raised on the Northside of Houston (right outside of the 610 loop) and everything is pretty accurate, except for traffic, I can remember sitting on the Katy Freeway for an hour while waiting to exit! I now live in OK and it drives me crazy that people take so long to go when the light turns green and that they drive the speed limit instead of the 10 miles over they are supposed to! I tell my friends, when you go to Houston, get out of the way or get run over, speed up when there is a yellow light and go when the light turns green!

Moved to Houston 3 years ago and this is all 100% on point! HEB is a force to be reckoned with here! And Buc-ee's, boy oh boy, you have to respect the Beaver! FYI, those tortilla chips are in my pantry and yes, we all adore anything Texagon.

There is no city on earth that is more culturally diverse and yet so homogenized, as Houston.

As a native Texan and former Houstonian, there were no lies or exaggerations in this video.

As a Houstonian I absolutely agree that not every HEB is the same HEB Clear Lake and HEB El Dorado look similar and yet HEB El Dorado has more stuff. Delightful video!

Native Nutmegger here! I moved to VA a few years ago and found you and those other people when I was learning more about the south and I’ve been watching you ever since.

I think the best part about Houston is that no one knows where Houston ends.

As a kid from the 'burbs of H-town. I love this, Matt. Always love your content. Houstonians typically call "service roads" "feeder roads" like they feed into the interstate.

As a Houstonian, this was so accurate and hysterical! I laughed out loud several times!😂 Bravo!

As a Houstonian…I loved this. You were spot on with all of it. My two favorites were the “feeders” (aka access, roads), and the fact you got Jim Adler in there 🤣😂 “The Texas Hammer”

I remember I went to the Blue Bell Creamery once on vacation. The power ended up going out when a truck carrying a house hit the power line, so we couldn’t see the ice cream being made or anything. But, those $1 scoops were free because they had to get rid of it all before it melted

As a Houstonian, I can conform most of this is accurate, except for the traffic. I have no idea how you got so lucky with that, nobody even moves for ambulances here.

As a native Houstonian, I can confirm this is 100% accurate.

Number 11: Houston is the u-turn capitol of the world! In my first month here, I made more u-turns than I have made in my 56 years of driving! Also street signs suck in Houston. The big streets may be visibly marked, but smaller streets not so much. A lot has to do with the signs being swallowed up by overgrown trees and brush, and the city not keeping up. But I have to admit the beautiful houses and tree lined streets are wonderful.

The baby Buc-ees are to help you survive the distance to the next full sized Buc-ees.

If you thought the traffic wasn't bad, you never drove 610W southbound during rush hour. Everything else is spot on!

I wasn’t born in Houston, but I got there as fast as I could! You’re spot on! Thanks for the laughs!

Im from Houston and I approve of this message 😂 well done 😂

Houston born and raised! Love my hometown and loved your spot on analysis of it! Except for the HEB part. There are some real crap HEBs out there, built during the time when HEB was still trying to figure itself out and work its way into the Houston grocery store market. Also the guy who drives the train at Minute Maid is Bobby Dynamite. He has two World Series rings lol

My favorite Texas shaped thing are waffles - so many hotel breakfasts have Texas shaped waffles. Got on a flight once and the flight attendant was showing everyone her Texas shaped waffle - not a picture - but an actual waffle.

You hit the nail on the head w/all of these. As an Arkansas transplant, this place is wild and I love living here.

As a native Texan and Houston resident for the last 50 years... you are spot on... LOL!! Oh, and the reason there aren't that many Dollar Generals around is that they have a competitor here... Dollar Tree... 🤣🤣

Driving through Houston at 5 pm on a Friday pulling a trailer MIGHT change your opinion of how great traffic is in Houston. We'll follow you anywhere Matt.

I have lived most of my life in the Houston area and you were spot on! I was busting a gut watching this video. You made my day! Mattress Mack trumps all of the trinity though. He is an institution unto himself.

58 year old native, lifelong Houstonian here… not one error detected in this video. 👏🏻👍🏻

I'm so glad you're independent now. Your content is so free for us to consume and we owe you a debt of entertainment gratitude.

Fine job you did there; for a foreigner. The good news is that everyone in Houston seems to be a foreigner. The service roads are officially called frontage roads, but everyone in Houston, and only in Houston, calls them "feeders" because they feed the freeways. We do indeed drive farther to get to a "great" HEB. We're getting a new one out here in Katy and it looks like it's going to be huge. I went to a mini Buc-ee's once. I was shocked at how much food and such they had. I was expecting a normal convenience store, but no!. It's basically a scaled down version of a big Buc-ee's. We do have dollar stores, but they're tucked away in neighborhoods.

I tell my boys that in the Houston area, everyone drives like the Duke Brothers. When there is traffic, trucks (which most people have) and even cars, will make new paths off the interstate and try to speed off into the feeder road. Or vice versa. Houston is a super friendly and kind melting pot (literally melting) until you get everyone on the road. The fanciest HEB is Central Market. Houston only has one. If you have a Joe V's in your neighborhood (HEB's dented can store),.make sure you have good locks. ❤ I love H-town!

Awwwwww!!! Thank you for your kind words!

Everythings bigger in TEXAS Matt, it's not just something we made up 😂😂

As a Houstonian I agree with everything 😂 you basically nailed it 😂 most of the Dollar Generals are in the suburbs. Believe me when I tell you, they are everywhere. We have an HEB that is fairly close to us but I will drive 30 minutes in the opposite direction to get to the "good" HEB 😂

I am a native Texan and moved from DFW to Houston five years ago. I love Buc-ee’s. The Chopped Beef’s sandwiches so good. FYI: There is a small Buc-ee’s in Sugarland.

Most of the little Buc-ees are south of Houston where Buc-ees got its start in the Freeport/Lake Jackson area. For many years Buc-ees were just normal sized convenience stores noted for cheap gas, clean restrooms and cheerful checkers almost exclusively located in Brazoria county (Houston is Harris county).

I live in the Texas Hill Country, in one of the 5 fastest growing counties in the COUNTRY, & we are being invaded by Houstonians fleeing the congestion of the big city (making the big cities of Austin & San Antonio even more congested)….. but I grew up in Houston, so I can hardly begrudge them…. My husband says that everybody should go to Houston at least once a year, preferably at Christmastime…. Houston’s Christmas decorations can easily be seen from outer space.

My daughters calls a little Buc-ee’s a “Buc-aroo”. It’s delightful.

Those lanes of pavement next to the freeway are called the "feeder^. A nice idea of how big Houston is that one can travel the " Inner loop " 610 from point A back around the loop to the start point for an hour and half not be done, especially at peak hours. I-45 has been under construction since the 1960, and is not finished yet. By the time one stretch gets completed, it is time for other parts to be upgraded. By driving the "outer loop,"one can basically drive roughly 300 plus miles around the Houston metro area.

Now THIS is an entertaining video! We take all these things for granted in Houston, and it was funny hearing Matt Mitchell opine on them from the outside, reminding us that it's not like this everywhere. For those of you watching this video who have never been to Houston, everything in this video is pretty much true. Well done!

The 3 people that have been to Connecticut. You rock Matt!

My mom would always tell me that if the place I wanted to go to was on the Southside of Houston we couldn't go because it will be 2 hours there and 2 hours back .

I grew up in Houston and now live in the home of Texas A&M. You are absolutely correct about the heat. It is miserable in the summer. And right now it's still summer. I will never move back to Houston for one reason- traffic. I have no idea how you got off so lucky while you were there, but I'm thankful you had a very uncharacteristic experience. It used to take me an hour to an hour and a half to get to work in Houston, when it should have taken 20 minutes for the distance. Learning to drive in Houston turns you into a very aware defensive driver, though!

Glad you visited and got a taste of the level of heat we live with. It’s scorching. I’m between Houston and Galveston and I must say, it’s the best. Close enough to both, but far away enough to avoid the crowds. 😊

Lived in Houston my entire life, glad you put some respect on Mack’s name. Lol You’re 100% spot on for each subject bro. Glad you enjoyed your visit but come back in January or February it’s tolerable then.

I had to describe Tokyo to a fellow native Texan and I said “15 Houstons in size and somehow 3 Houstons in humidity”

Beginners guide to Houston traffic: 1. The speed limit is the minimum speed required to drive 2. The left lane is reserved for those going at least 10 mph over the speed limit. 3. Changing lanes is always changing multiple lanes at the same time. You have to do advanced calculations to time moving across 4 lanes from the left lane to the exit ramp in one movement.

My husband and I went there in May to see the Space Center and we both agree that the traffic was nowhere near as bad as we thought it would be. In fact, it's hundreds of times better than the traffic here in Montana. Also, we were blown over by the wide variety of restaurants there were to choose from!

Houston transplant from Dallas here, everything you said about Houston is true! The service roads or “feeder” roads as they call them here are terrifying. If your car has “sport” driving mode, I highly recommend you use it to pull out of Chilis with. 😂😂😂

"The three people who have been to Connecticut" 😂 Born and raised here. I cannot wrap my mind around a city being as big as my state especially because I don't consider Connecticut to be small.

as a native houstonian..............this is true. so good on you for enjoying yourself while you are here. also, fun fact: the subdivision where my sister lives, humble, isn't pronounced like humble. the H is silence so it's prounced "umble". also, the best placed to get good quality mexican food are the taco trucks. you will either find them in gas station parking lots or supermarket parking lots.

I lived in Houston for 20yrs - there's a lot to love about that city and surrounding areas and.... some not so great things

When we lived in the Houston area, we always parked where there was a tree...not the closest parking place to the store. We used potholders to open car doirs and pixk up seat belt buckles thar could double as branding irons. Leaving a shop when you go to open the door, you hold your breath and shut your eyes like you would for a hot oven.

Houstonian here. Can confirm all these things.

As a Mitchell who lives just outside of Houston, welcome! A few quick notes: --It's an ongoing joke that Houston is over an hour away from Houston. This is all true. Driving from my suburb on the southern side of town to my folk's house on the NW side takes more than 30 minutes on a Saturday morning with NO traffic. --The "service roads" in Houston are called "feeders." Also, every major highway in town has at least 2 names; it's how we distinguish who's local. --Dollar Generals are ALL OVER the suburbs. You just stayed in the fancy parts of town. --The various Buc-ee's sizes: There's regular (enormous) locations, the smaller versions that are still built originally as Buc-ee's (I call them "baby Buc-ee's") and then the locations where they took over other gas stations and retro-fitted the Buc-ee's brand ("fetal Buc-ee's"). --Come back sometime!

Honorable mention would be Houston's immense freeway loop system, with the recent inclusion of Grand Parkway aka Grand Raceway. We went from Loop 610 and Hwy 6 / FM1960 to also having the Beltway and now GP / 99, the amount of racetracks we have here is inconceivable! I also tell newcomers to not dip slower than 10 mph OVER the posted speed limit or you will get shot.

Oh, the accuracy. Houston is an hour away from Houston. But the word you're looking for is "feeder." Not "service road." Not just Dollar General - we have a shocking shortage of Waffle Houses too. That's why we never know when to evacuate from a hurricane.

You made me laugh out loud. And I'm in school, as I'm teaching school. So thanks for that. My kids are like, 'What's Mr. Taylor chuckling about?' ME: Oh, just Matt. Keep up the good work, my friend. And y'all come back, you hear!

32 years I been here in Houston, Born & Raised 🤘🔥 shout out my city! HTX

Preach on about Blue Bell ice cream. Truly Texas’s biggest contribution to joy in the world.

I have a love/hate relationship with the Houston metro area that I grew up in. Family, friends, Texans, Astros, Rockets, Buc-ees, Shipley's, BBQ, Tex-Mex, Seafood and Cajun...love. Traffic, heat, concrete and oh yeah more construction to destroy the few trees we have...hate. Don't forget about our Hurricanes either Matt. 😉

Fun facts: 1) If you ever have a reason to be in downtown Houston, you can get around without exposing yourself to the boiling rain and flaming air by using the most extensive urban pedestrian tunnel network in the USA. 2) All (only a slight exaggeration) Houston area restaurants not owned by Pappas Bros are owned by Landry's, which also owns the Kemah Boardwalk, Galveston Pleasure Pier, several hotels, and Mitchell's (!!!) Steakhouse.

As a Houstonian for over 50 years, your summary of the city is almost spot on except for the traffic bit. Our freeways are congested beyond belief during rush hour. If my memory serves me correctly, Houston is #9 of the US cities with the worst traffic. Love the video bro, keep producing them and I'll keep watching.

My sister lives in Houston and everything you said is true. She took us to the Buc-Cee’s with the longest drive-thru car wash in Texas, a 1/4 mile long. Only in Texas…

This has been a very hot summer. It has finely cooled down to a low of 95° for the month of September.

Bobby Vasquez aka Bobby Dynamite is the Astros Train Guy. Awesome dude!

As someone who grew up in the Brazoria County area (Where Buc-ees Originated), the first stores were smaller, like the Alvin, Pearland, Lake Jackson, League City Stores. I remember they first became popular because they were selling way cheaper gas than everyone, so naturally everybody was flocking to them. Word then got out about the bathrooms, and then they took off super fast to what they are now. I'm not really sure they do small stores anymore, but you'll find them mainly in the Brazoria/Galveston county area if I had to guess.

Those dollar scoops from Bluebell were shocking. I got three not knowing that each scoop was its own bowl of ice cream.

Wish I'd known you were visiting. I'm a South Georgian living here via a couple stops. The mystery of the mini-Buc'ees is those were the original size until they decided you could make a gas station a destination more fun than a theme park by following one simple rule: Give people clean restrooms and they will come. When you go down the interstates you'll see signs for Buc'ees 80 miles away. I think they have zoned in on the distance a family will travel from one Buc'ees before needing to stop and build another store at that point. And here the service roads are called frontage roads and speed limit is slightly lower than the main lanes. As for speed limits on major roads you can pretty much multiply posted by 1.5 to get the real speed. On 290 out of Houston you'll be going 75 in a posted 65 and find yourself the "slow old guy."

As a Houstonian, this is a million percent accurate. 10/10, no notes. 🤣🤣❤️❤️❤️

Years ago, when I moved from Houston to New York in a U-Haul, we left and then reentered Houston city limits around 5 separate times on our drive. It was like that Twilight Zone episode. Felt like we finally left Houston for the last time around 10 minutes outside of Louisiana.

I really needed that laugh. Thank you ❤️🤠

I live in North Texas and I avoid Houston, Dallas/Ft Worth and San Antonio completely. They are just entirely too big and I am more than content with my town of less then 200k people. You are right, the heat and humidity in Texas is lethal and I feel bad for any man that has to work out in the heat.

Been to Houston two times. You know it is large when there are two main airports. Also humid.

I’ve lived in Houston for over 30 years (native Texan) and can verify the accuracy of the information here. Especially the driving. Almost all Houston divers like to “drive it like we stole it”

As a former Houstonian......I concur...I lived in Pearland when was 7000 people. Now it has 120,000. But I still visit all the time. I love my hometown.