I have this quote: "You're better off always improving than momentarily being the best." So if you have to choose: be better, not good.

I want to be a better person in my life. I apologize to all whom I have hurt through gossip, mean words and in any other way).

Basically, our attachment to the "good person identity" makes us defensive and retaliatory. We don't strive towards improvement because we relate to that identity too much. An unhealthy attachment. Solution: accept when you err. Take feedback and improve. Don't fit yourself into definitions that block growth.

I"ve learn so much this passed days, i'm working on my self to be a better person than what i was yesterday.

don't try to be a good person, just try to be a better person today, than you were yesterday. If someone calls you out for problematic action/behaviour... that's just an opportunity to be better

This Ted talk is something all of us knew somewhere inside us but ignored. Thanks for giving us the idea to actually let our good-ish part shine

Idk sometimes I feel like I am doing the right, but I question myself at times am I a good person?I’m a people pleaser, so I’m always there for my friends and friend,But idk if I’m doing it from the sincerity of my heart or I’m i just making ppl think I’m a good person? Like I feel bad about it sometimes

the fact that most people here are is because they’ve done something to upset or offend someone to a degree shows that we’re willing to change and be someone better. good job to you for taking the first step.

Unfortunately our society is going in the opposite direction, defining "good people" and "bad people" ever more strictly and placing people into those categories with very little chance of moving from "bad" to "good". Police talk of catching the "bad guys." Our politicians demonize the other side as "deplorables" or "SJWs". Employers fire people for the smallest mistakes. Say one thing on social media that offends someone and face an online mob. Our society has very little ability to see people as messy, complicated individuals-- and to see morality itself as complicated and often unclear, which might make us a little less quick to judge others.

ted talks, but does ted listen? :(

I strongly believe that our need to be “good” is tied to the way were disciplined as children, specifically whether we corrected on behaviour or character. Ive noticed quite often that people hold the concepts of ‘bad’ and ‘incorrect’ inextricably interchangeable within their minds. My theory: they literally cannot err and still think of themselves as good because doing good equates to being good, and mistakes become a moral flaw.

*Do what you can, with what you have, where you are.*

A tip from me: The most important thing about your behaviour is your intentions and what you do with it. Because sometimes your intentions for writing a comment/saying something to someone/in gernerally interacting with someone are good, but the way you try to realise your intentions are bad. For example when you discuss with someone in a youtube section. In most cases people state their opinion or say something against your opinion in such a provocative way. You can see that they just try to prove that their right and arent neutral and open minded to get their opinion changed by other perspectives. You could only end this „hatred“ when you criticise them friendly and spread love and try to realise your intentions in the best way, like you would want it by other people.

There's this saying that once a person does something "good," they have the feeling of not needing to do it again since they accomplished that satisfaction. Something I've been trying to stray away from for a while. :/

When will Ted come to the talks?

I just looked at the title, and I already knew I needed to watch this video.

Let’s try our bests and never stop improving, peeps! WE CAN DO THIS! 💛

you can take the scientific nature of this video with a grain of salt and still hold on a couple of great messages that it tries to push through. Be less defensive, open yourself to vulnerability, learn from your mistakes. These are pretty great teachings.

I discovered this over the course of three years when I first got to college, I realized that moment I start feeling happy, my mind starts stagnating and I stop learning about being a well-rounded person.

Good-hearted people also make mistakes. But good people do not choose to avoid problems, but learn from mistakes and correct them in time. This is the most worthy of my study.

This was incredibly eye-opening!! Thanks a ton for this.

I'm a social scientist. I study the psychology of good people, and research in my field says many of us care deeply about feeling like a good person and being seen as a good person. Now, your definition of "good person" and your definition of "good person" and maybe the taxi driver's definition of "good person" -- we may not all have the same definition, but within whatever our definition is, that moral identity is important to many of us

Defination of good person:- If you thanked the bus driver then you are a good person.

amazing. You allowed me to reflect on certain things, like the "either or" concept, which I definitely want to work on. I'm afraid of hurting other people, whether it be friends or a romantic partner, but I shouldn't be afraid of making mistakes. It's not about trying to make mistakes, it's as you said: learning to spot the mistakes and be more aware. We will all keep making mistakes so why not "look forwards" to them, embrace them, accept them, and learn to become better people by taking them as lessons. Most of us don't mean to harm anyone, but we need to acknowledge that it will happen whether we like it or not. We need to validate the fact that we have hurt someone when it happens and become more aware of how to do things differently in the future.

Important distinction, being good vs being seen by others as good. True 4:45 - 5:50.

Insightful and refreshing. Indeed, it's true that within those "either - or" situations, we don't give ourselves room to grow. Well said, ma'am. 💯👍🏻

Thank you so much for this talk. This has helped me enormously.

I find often these are dry subjects to deal with, but Dolly Chug has an easy to listen to voice that really helps in understanding the value of the message here. Really enjoyed the lecture, well done.

I really identified with this talk. Thank you

OMG. This needs to go viral. Absolute genius.

She seems to be so excited about what she says and where she does it. Love it.

I love how she talks and smile.

This is interesting, never thought of it this way. Taking it to the next level. We can always do this in our lives into additional areas.

I've been searching information of different type of people past years out of curiosity and noticed that i've been more likely to be okay with difference. I can't perfectly understand people with different background than me, because i'm not watching world with their eyes, but i've become i guess more understanding towards them. It's also rather comforting to learn more of something that's mystery for you. I'm also given tools such as internet to get to know people of different backgrounds, so why not. I've learned about problems in today's society during my independent research. It's less scary for me nowadays to approach people from all over when i'm aware of how people's environment, culture and other aspects may have affected them and how they may sense me. I know for sure i don't know all and never really will, but it's important for me to spread justice and empathy, because i've seen so much injustice and hate towards innocent.

I want be a better person . I want be better person to myself. I don’t like to witness people suffering but I realize sometimes it’s made me “bad “ simply because I’m more aware of who I am and who I’m not . I can’t make everyone happy is impossible was best take away . I dunno why we so hard on ourselves to sub-come to that being a destination. I made peace with that I hope it brings peace to all , I done shortcuts it cost me more in long run . Thank you for this advice.

I just got called out by a person who I believe cares for me for being mean. It made me cry but he lead to this video and I couldn't be more grateful.

Thank You Dolly for sharing your wisdom.

she delivered an interesting speech, i learned, thanks a lot a go head with speeches

I want to be a good person, not a "good" person, i want to be good and enjoys it, not only a mask so i have friends

Thank you Chugh I really feel this video was here for me as I was at my lowest point...god bless yu..hallelujah!!!

Excellent presentation..thank you.

I am 36 and regret helping, caring, trying, loving, giving, listening and being kind to everyone. I learnt a hard lesson. Evil people exist but not only. They also think of them selves as good. THEY WILL STEAL YOUR PURPOSE AND WILL TO LIVE.

Mrs. Dolly Chugh, you're a good person. Thank you.

what a inspiration speech, i really like this

Thank you. Greetings from PL.

As much as I want to I know I can eventually become a better person for who I am, I started and made progress, but I need to make the full push to finally be able to come out of it, and hopefully I can actually do it, I can be a better person, I have faith in myself

Very important topic. Such a shame society at large is struggling to allow people an opportunity to move forward and learn from mistakes by forgiving and moving on.

Well, Carl Jüng called our evil tendencies the shadow. Unless we are fully aware of our inner shadow we can never become good.

I fully agree with this!

Learn to say NO!

i was confused about my friend, i didnt know if he was actually a good person, and then i saw your video and now i'm sure hes not! thank u

It's crystal clear. cross your fingers all the best in your life 🌹🌹🌹

So a friend of mine was riding in a taxi to the airport the other day, and on the way, she was chatting with the taxi driver, and he said to her, with total sincerity, "I can tell you are a really good person." And when she told me this story later, she said she couldn't believe how good it made her feel, that it meant a lot to her. Now that may seem like a strong reaction from my friend to the words of a total stranger, but she's not alone.

Great video! Thanks for sharing

We're social animals - we'll always be concerned about what others think of us. And we're always going to get that hit of dopamine when someone compliments us on a shared social value like 'being good.' Her point is, we can go farther than that.

WOW!!!!! Thanks for this talk! A LOT!!!

I found this borderline incomprehensible

I think why is a better question point than how for those who are sure about their declining humanity. Why does it matter, why should I be a good or better person? People who are already good or “good ish” and are constantly making an effort to better themselves don’t entertain that question as much because they don’t have to. Largely, people understand that things like racist and sexist jokes or subconscious associations are not what defines a person, and their worth. It’s the way you handle things, the choices you make more than the thoughts you have. Negative thoughts are much harder to come back from once you’ve brought them outside your head, and acted on them in your reality. If a person does not have a reason they are happy with and understand to be better they will not be. In my opinion? There isn’t one. You care because you want to, or you do not. You’re trying or you’re pretending. Not very many actually can’t tell. This is where the difference between good and bad people exists, in why anything matters- how it doesn’t, but you’re supposed to care anyways. The presence of faith and good supportive people in ones life supplies a lot of that why, no matter how it looks.

Me growing up in left wing culture & media, those also there are often very addicted to getting the FEELING "I am a good person" from others, and it is very often totally incompatible with actually considering what actually is good for oneself or others. Because that FEELING will come because others approve, or you give them what they expect it demand.....so it is a state of being highly emotionally hooked into/addicted & dependant on others, rather than free. If someone wants clarification, or how to solve that, ask me, either explanation or a link.

Really Its NEAT&CLEAR

شكرااا للمترجم شكرااااا♡ ارجو ترجمة كل جديد

Stick with good! You're a better person. (good-better-best). You don't have to compare yourself to someone else to be a "better person". All for Rational Thought & Reasoning! Amen, this Thanksgiving Holiday! Everyone!

wonderful speech....thank you very much....😄😄

I have a vision. My vision is to live in a world where the depression rate is zero and the suicide rate is zero. I believe that each and every one of us has the capacity to be a better person. That's why I make videos; for the sole purpose of helping people grow, develop and improve themselves, as well as their relationships.

Not only that we worry too much about other things!! that unfortunately we don't live in the moment..🌊🌴

Brilliant!!

i unknowingly hurt so many people. i’m doing whatever i can to do better

She has such a lovely voice

Good message.

Sartre said it first: existence precede essence. It's not 'who you essentially are" that matters, it's what you do, renewed every moment.

Good concept Dolly.

Self-preservation, generosity, good listener, humility, patience, a forgiving nature... Oh, and a slice of cake every now and then.

Well she’s right about this: people have extremely different definitions when they use terms. To me, doing something “good” is truthful, loving, and helpful to the world, and doing something “bad” is selfish at the expense of others’ well-being, destructive, unfair. But the only examples she gave of her “mistakes” were one random girl (same gender as her), out of years of teaching, got offended and claimed she was somehow “sexist”, and the other was mixing up two students by accidents. Those aren’t moral mistakes..... Other people getting offended for no reason and throwing a bizarre accusation at you for it is not the same as you doing an immoral thing. Her definition of “morality” seems to revolve around doing things that make her appear more as though she is fulfilling the irrational, shallow checklist of liberal buzzwords. “Inclusive”. “Diverse.” Overcomplicating things, trying to label and categorize absolutely every aspect of life into something that can somehow make SOMEBODY “offended” for no legitimate reason is not the path to morality. So if that’s what she’s after I actually agree-stop trying to be a “good person”. But going by the traditional, conservative definition of morality-simply caring about people and trying to be more helpful to each other than harmful, is something the world is in desperate need of more of. I think we should just be honest and generally try to treat people as well as we can. But the reason for that, for valuing that clear & simple definition of morality, is not to avoid a meaningless label like “sexist” or “racist” from some random college student. Rather it is because being treated badly by someone with actual ill-intent feels awful, and we should just have less of that in the world. Stop worrying about these dumb labels if you are-try to find things and influences that will motivate you to actually care about people in a fair and honest way, judging them on an individual basis, and the rest will come as result without the shallow labeling, division, and statistics-carving.

amazing!

Lol you don't have to change for others. A good person is a gem in this world. You distance yourself with people who try to use you. Never stop being a good person because of bad people

This talk is amazing n I love your smiles 😊

Yea, we should point out the problems, later we figure out solutions. Furthermore, everyone does have their unique way to solve problems.

I've been holding onto tightly to the image of being a good person that I forgot who I read am. I will now try and do my very best to get back the person I was the person I really am and stop hurting others. I'm truly sorry even though you won't see this... I won't do it again...

Wow.. I was just listening to this talk on the TED app!

Great one But answered 'what' and 'why' Didn't answered 'how'

I guess its this thing which makes us make more mistakes in front of those who are always pointing out our mistakes or are pushy in some way.

Altyazıda her dil var bir türkçe yok teşekkürler TED!

I'm working on being a better person in my life

Bravo 👌

she herself looks a good person. I almost felt her crying multiple times during her speech.

Tired of being nice. Too much niceness has left me lacking inside, I have given my time and money to a life that bores me to tears. Being a moral good person has left me suicidal.

Very Good

I disagree that you should forget about being a good person. On it's own, it is a driver towards doing what is right in general. I believe most people innately strive to improve, and being human we are also innately vulnerable. We learn through our experiences, good or bad. Life experiences. I believe you do not need to let go of being a good person. That in and of itself is a confusing suggestion and gives the appearance that one is unable to be better just by being good. It's natural (being good) and more innate than suggested by Ms. Chugh.

My dog had something in his eye and I told my friend and he said “well in my opinion if you can’t afford to take your pets to the vet you shouldn’t have pets” this hurt me because I can afford it but it’s just not such a huge issue like I can just clean his eye myself, If I need to take him to the vet I will.But because of what he said I have not been able to sleep for 2 days thinking about how I am a bad person or a bad dog Mum because I am not good enough. I feel like this friend looks down on me just because he has more money. Honestly it’s sad for him because money is not every thing. Idk I just feel really upset and still can’t sleep.

WOW, yeah I realized I was suffering from some sort of black and white myopia, but this fully elucidated it!

In my beliefs there’s no right or wrong, good or bad. It’s all what the human collective consciousness has deemed as good or bad, and “good” gets us love. Love keeps us alive. Of course I wouldn’t kill someone but when people do the reincarnate

I am going to be a better person from now on.

maybe ironic but she seems like a good person!

We care because “good” gets us love.

Let go of the past but learn from it. Become better every day.

Good is a threshold. We can be Good; what we can never be is Perfect. But just because you're Good doesn't mean you should stop trying to be Better.

Neat

Yes to this!!

Im still waiting for Ted to show up

BEEEEEEN ON THIS MY WHOLE LIFE THIS AINT KNEW