To receive ALL of our exclusive video series instantly, before they're released anywhere else, click here: bit.ly/2FUcXtu

I was with a narcissist for 12 years. 19 to 33. I'm 54 now and it's been 21 years. One thing I can say for sure. If their absence brings you peace you did not lose them you have won yourself again

She really needs her own channel. Dr Ramani is so articulate.

My Dad was malignant narcissist. I was scapegoated as a child and still am by 4 siblings, but am becoming able to transition to truth teller at age 64! Thanks be to God.

Being or living with a narcissist is like having to fight your way to more freedom minute by minute. You often feel like you are fighting for the last little piece of turf, or for more air. You feel like you are suffocating in their presence. You feel like you are in a prison.

I could listen to this woman talk all day. Her signal-to-noise ratio is delightfully high. No weasel words, no null syllables, just confident information.

I have an aggressive bipolar narcissistic mother with no empathy and my father is a covert narcissist. Me being alive and okay is indeed a miracle.

I would say the first sign will come from your own gut feeling which will send signal to your body telling you that this person doesn't make you feel comfortable being around him/her. The fact that you are already asking this question should alert you to be careful. Something will feel off and you won't know what it is exactly. Covert narcissists can act very charming in the beginning but there will be often also present underlying sense of superiority about them. That sense is actually deriving from them feeling insecure about themselves, so they tend to quietly degrade others in order to feel better about themselves. On the other hand if covert narcissist feels that you are above his league, he will act like your servant, trying to please you - almost annoying in a way. But make no mistake. If you decide to stay in a relationship with him, he will downgrade you and abuse you like all the others. Because in his mind, if you love him, he thinks you are unworthy of him. Covert narcissists hate themselves so if someone loves them, than they think this person is worth less than them and that they can do better. Other sign to look for is any kind of judgment towards others. If he criticises other frequently, he will more likely criticise you as well once he gets more comfortable around you. Pay attention to how he treats people that are dependent on him as well. Narcissists hate those especially if they can't get anything of of that for themselves. Moreover, Cheating in marriages is not restricted to only men. Women cheat as much as men do. If you're suspecting your wife of infidelity, you'll have to keep an eye on her of her without her knowledge of her. One of the best ways to know if your spouse cheats on social platforms is by paying close attention to how your spouse behaves while online. The signs are pretty the same. Is your spouse more time on the app without explanation and gets unnecessarily defensive when you ask about it? If your spouse behavior has changed lately, and continues to spend more time on social apps, it's time for you to take action, with the help of a private investigator (suggested; METASPYHUB@GMAIL. COM , you can find out what is taking all their time on social apps, who they are talking to and other things happening,,

I am a self aware narcissist, and everything she says about narcissism; is true!!

Getting my Psychology degree via UKposts today. Can't stop watching these videos.

2:00 Grandiose 2:28 Malignant 3:43 Covert 6:50 Communal

The _communal narcissist_ never does those “charitable”things when no one is there to witness it.

I initially thought I was a narcissist, maybe a mix of covert and communal, my ex used to keep telling me I was a narcissist so I blamed myself but this video changed my views, no I am not a narcissist, I am a human, an empathetic giving human who takes accountability for their actions, who knows when I did something wrong and I need to make it right, I feel immensely guilty for hurting others and I give and give and give and only expect a little respect and love from the other person and isn't expecting love in return is what a normal human expects... No way I am a narcissist.... First my father then my bf of two years kept making me feel how I was not good enough.... I am tired of narcissists making me feel I am insufficient... Thank you dr. Ramani.... Knowledge does make one powerful!

1. Classical narcissism 2:02 2. Covert narcissism 3:50 3. Communal narcissism 7:00 4. Acquired narcissism 11:34

My parents are both narcissists. My father is a malignant narcissist and my mom is a covert narcissist. What a couple. It’s a nightmare to live with them. I had to be my own parent because they would only care about themselves. I had to be a dad and a mom to my siblings. When we all finished college by working part time, we moved out and got jobs. Lo and behold, they both demanded half of our salaries because they endured raising us. Wow. We cut ties with them and helped our grandparents instead. We’re all worried that we might become narcissist like them but we’re thankful we’re not. It’s so hard but we’re so glad we survived.

I just left a relationship with a narcissist and am beginning to heal and learn from this, these videos have opened my eyes and are making me understand why this happened with me.

What a beautiful and intelligent woman she is. You can tell how excited she is to talk about something she's super knowledgeable about.

i was w a covert narcissist for only two years and let me tell you, DONT SECOND GUESS THE RED FLAGS. its not worth it man

I’m a licensed psychologist. This woman is Spot On. I’d love to see more of her.

My spouse accused me of being a covert narcissist. I took her accusation seriously and started reading about it. I also suggested to my spouse that we go a marriage therapist to discuss my narcissism openly and get feedback from a professional. She refused. So I started seeing a therapist on my own. We have now been meeting for several months. I sincerely want to understand if indeed I am a narcissist, and if so, where it came from and what I can do about it. The therapy session included a test for covert narcissism. While these types of tests are less than perfect, the test indicated that I was above average for covert narcissism but within the normal range. According to my therapist, nearly everyone carries some some elements of covert narcissism but it can range from nearly nonexistent to extreme. So far, based on the testing and my therapists input, my narcissistic tendencies appear to not be abnormal and not dysfunctional. But I will continue to work with my therapist to try to become more aware of any narcissistic tendencies and to develop ways to eliminate or minimize them. This isn't easy but I am trying my best. I just wish my spouse would be willing to discuss her perceptions with me, and maybe the therapist as well, so I could better understand her experiences and how I may be triggering them. But anytime I ask to discuss it, she just becomes angry and refuses to engage.

I'm a coach and had an athlete who was a narcissist. He got in my head, drove me absolutely nuts, but also intrigued me. He would say the most odd things, and i couldn't figure out where he was coming from until I came across Dr. Ramani.

when you realize family members are matching perfectly to the descriptions

My wife is part of that 20%. I'm going through this now, no contact! I'm done feeling at fault for everything. Verbal abuse is REAL!

5 years with a covert narcissist!! It's torture but thanks to guys I am learning SO MUCH 😭🙏❤️

My personality attracts narcissists all too well... I think they assume I am stupid and I won't see what they are? I don't know how it works but somehow I feel like these people such the life out of me. Convert are the hardest type to get rid off. Because you don't see that at the first glance. And everybody want to help them. I'm also kind of a person that prefers to remove myself quietly from a situation than make a bid fuss. So we get into this weird dynamic when everybody start to ask me to help X because X is "in a bad place". Now I can say that I just don't vibe with them but back in a day it was very weird for me and I had no idea what to do...

Me: "Doc, ya gotta tell me. Am I a psychopath, sociopath, or narcissist?" Doc: "You're none of those. You're just standard, pedestrian asshole." Me: "Oh thank God!... I thought there was something wrong with me."

1) 1:58 classical Narc 2) 2:28 Malignant Narcissist 3) 3:45 Covert Narcissist 4) 6:50 Communal Narcissist

Hi I'm Trish. Thankyou for being so informative on narcissism. Unfortunately I was married to a narcissist 11 years. I went in as a confident person, probably became a bit narcissist myself trying to defend myself. When I was no longer myself I had to leave with my 2 children. He then charmed his way into my brother and sisters lives and used them as flying monkies. My only fallback has been of what my dear old Grandfather told me, always be truthful, it's too hard in life to remember all the different lies you tell. Your mind becomes your own maze to navigate. I have now learnt to be disassociated from all the stories my narcissist husband told my family. I never married again, and ran from marriage proposals and live very happily on my own.

The way she speaks is so clear and concise and she gives information in a way that really makes you grasp what she's talking about.

"Do good quietly," Well said.

she is reaaally good, i can't stop watching her!

I was with a Covert narcissist for 4yrs. The worst relationship experience of my life! So draining and emotional torture! I am finally completely moving on with my life, healing with the help of God, my therapist, family and friend support. Please be aware of the signs early and do not stay thinking these ppl will change. They DO NOT. Run and keep running. Do not do like I did and stay being blind by love. They do not know what love is. They are selfish, cold blooded people that only aim to tear you down, to make themselves feel good or superior to you.

I was married to a malignant narcissist and he was everything she said, he was a liar, cheater and abusive in every way possible but he also have a little bit of the other 3 traits as well. Now he’s remarried and playing the role of an angel doing everything I begged him to do/be while we were married to try to make me jealous 😂😂 I hope he knows that I’m so much happier in my life without him so there’s nothing in this world he could do to make me ever care for him ever again 🙌🏼🎉👏🏼

Narcissism is one of the major causes of misery, the best way to find your self-respect is by sincerely helping others and spreading kindness and love to this world.

Social media culture I think did a lot of contribution to communal narcissism.

I had no idea that there were different levels of narcissism, and I appreciate that this video clarified that for me. It's important to remember that having a healthy level of self-esteem is different from being narcissistic.

Oh my ! I just ended a relationship with a covert narcissist and I can see it clearer now. I still feel I come out of a nightmare ..

Covert narcissist are sneaky and mean!!! But act very innocent when you snap at them for what they may have done...making you look like the evil one when others are around...🧐

I actually never rlly believed that celebrities are narcissistic, but since she said that narcissism is rather a trait than a disorder, I’m actually starting to believe that LA is a hotspot for narcissists

Thank you for sharing this information. I am going to survive, I will thrive and I will laugh from my belly and feel the sunshine on my face again!

Dr. Ramani I was to express my deepest appreciation for your work on this topic. I’m 45 years old and until a year ago I certainly have heard of the word narcissist but didn’t really have a working understanding about it. I may have known people with narcissistic personalities but was never in an intimate relationship with one. Unfortunately I now can say I’ve been in a relationship with one for about 18 months and it was simply awful. Your videos are eerily accurate. It’s almost like you were on my shoulder throughout this relationship. Maybe someday I will share more but for now I just want to thank you from the bottom of my heart for the work you do and I hope your work grows and grows to reach as many people in the world as possible. Nobody deserves this sort of abuse but at least if everyone is equipped with a better understanding of narcissism they can at least protect themselves if they decide to stay or until they are able to leave. Keep up the great work! -Tres

The worst part is how narcissists can sometimes be so charming and lovable until you're onto them. Then you have to fall out of love.

There's a lot of "how to spot a narcissist" but not enough, "how do I get help if I think I may be one?”

I must get an official CNPD diagnosis and seek treatment. It's time to learn, understand and grow. Theres more to life than what you see in the mirror and how people treat you. Time to learn me. If you're gonna be stuck in a prison for life, might as well learn how to live in it and live among others. I listened to this lady explain my 30 years of existence/experience in 3 minutes. I've been labeled this by people who barely even knew me. I didn't and still don't even know what a narcissist is. I just know that the explanation hits home 100%, regardless of video, article etc. it's all there. I care and at the same time, don't give a damn. Some days, I feel, others, numb. The issue is, I like that, and I've noticed that others do as well. However, as of late, this instability hasn't gone unnoticed. It's time for a change. All along, the problem was and is me. #textbook 😢

I have children with a covert narcissist who used to be my high school best friend. Didn’t start seeing the cracks in his facade until I was pregnant with our toddler. I’m autistic & have a hard time reading people- I believe he played on this fact. I didn’t really know much about narcissism. Now that we have an infant, I was told to run for the hills & protect the children because it won’t get any better.

I love Dr Ramani, she's so intelligent, insightful and confident

My husband was diagnosed with Narcissistic Personality Disorder after he went into a VA Home. They haven't told him because they're afraid of how he'll act. He was very verbally abusive to me but outside the home everyone thought he was wonderful.

“Since narcissists deep down feel themselves to be faultless, it is inevitable that when they are in conflict with the world they will invariably perceive the conflict as the world’s fault.” ― M. Scott Peck

Good Morning Dr. RAMANI, I am writing to thank you sincerely for your channel and all of the effort, research and work you place into your content. I have learned so much from you in the short time since I’ve discovered you. Truly lifelong valuable information that has made so many of my experiences with others make sense and has given me both intellectual and emotional resolution when previously I continued to feel hurt and confusion. This learning really has had so much value for me. Thanks again! And have a lovely day and weekend! Take care, Dee:)

"We live in a materialistic and consumirist society and as long as that's the case narcissism is going to win". That is a bad news

this woman is so incredibly eloquent. SO informative!

Thanks for posting. I draw on my clinical and corporate background to teach classes on identifying and handling narcissism. Covert narcissists tend not to throw tantrums outwardly; instead, they retaliate via passive aggression coupled with the victim pose. Important to remember too that narcissism isn't just a characteristic of those people over there: we all have some, especially when raised in cultures or subcultures that frame narcissistic entitlement, selfishness, ambitiousness, and grandiosity as positive.

My sister is one of the most toxic people I know. I tried for over 40 years to keep her in my life but I finally had to cut her out like a tumor. Now I don't have to feel my blood pressure go sky high every time I see her face on my caller ID. Life is good now.

I remember I discovered my mom is a malignant narcissist about two months ago here. I'm so grateful I did, I'm fourteen years old and no one knows what she does to me and I was so scared I was going crazy. I mean, something had to be wrong with me if I felt so much pain in the company of my own mother. I understand things better now. Thank you so much.

"Do good, quietly." - Dr. Ramani Love this.

I've been married to a narcissist for 30 years. At one point in time, my standards were low at the time. I would say, "If they don't put their hands on me, abuse our children and help pay bills on time. I'm okay with his yelling, cheating, and trying to belittle me. I'm okay with that." I'm here to tell you, if it doesn't fit, don't force it! Don't mistake positivity and confidence with Narcissistic personalities. I have learned and starting all over 😊

Came here to find help for my adult children with their father. Quickly recognized how much this was helping me understand the leadership in my company. I would say 8/12 fall into these categories!

My dad and brother are narcissists. They are family members and I love them, but I extremely limit my time around them.

I love how passionate she is when she’s talking

1st was grandiose. 2nd was covert. With the covert one, I got so frustrated with his feigned powerlessness. He always had an excuse and someone else to blame. I told him a number of times that he was not as powerless as he acted. Thst he could make different choices. He of course never believed me. 45 years old, not working, chronically late but always so so busy....or sleeping bc the busyness was a lie and the exhaustion was a cover. The world is out to get me. All my exes are crazy. My family was jealous of me and not grateful. My ex partner was dumb. My brother sabatoged me because he was jealous. Nothing was his fault. Ever.

I lived with a Narcissist for 19yrs😢, I looked pale & older than my age but now I realized that nothing can be compared to ones peace of mind. I am glowing and Jesus is taking care of me. Looking back, am like how the hell did I survive those years? God, my kids & my keyboard...music were my Solace, the reason I was sane throughout the Abuse. I will "never" go back to what broke me👌. Proudly a survivor 🙌

"Do good quietly". Ancient wisdom. " But when you do merciful deeds, don't let your left hand know what your right hand does," Matthew 6.3 (The Sermon on the Mount).

Insecurity is the root of all these

2:00 Grandiose (Classical) - egotistical, arrogant, attention-seeking, validation-seeking, lacking empathy (not completely though), entitled, grandiose, pompous 2:28 Malignant - like the grandiose one, but also mean, doing bad things (cheating, stealing, lying, etc.), somewhat psychopathic, but still feel a little bad about it, “good” criminals 3:43 Covert - “misunderstood” by the world, but still grandiose, possibly passive aggressive, blaming the world, want recognition from the world, “victim-y”, doesn’t take ownership for not having success 6:50 Communal - “out there trying to save the world”, but to gain recognition; always looking good while doing it; lack of empathy for people they are trying to help

I've learned a lot about narcissism and the abuse that can come from it. I actually just got out of a divorce with someone who was a narcissist and it felt like I was going to war with the person throughout the entire divorce. They basically would sabotage my reputation, which caused people who were a part of my life and just turned a blind eye towards me all because of the lies and false allegations towards me during the divorce with my ex-husband. My current relationship, I've realized that I've been going through a similar situation that I had dealt with in my previous marriage. My current significant other would brag about having a "god-complex" and would try to impress others with events that were violent or considered as negative or lie about events that have never happened in their life just to create this image of themselves towards others which would create confusion with myself. I've watched the videos of the types and signs of narcissism, but I didn't see anything about having a god-complex or stonewalling. I'm currently studying psychology and watching the medcircle videos helps with learning and understanding first-hand information from professionals who are trained in this field of work. I'm diagnosed with CPTSD, MDD, GAD and probably a few others since I've last seen a therapist since I haven't gone to see one in over a year now and the amount of stress I went through and continue to go through even after the divorce was over, I would feel drained both physically and emotionally, I feel trapped because I would be told that I can't seek help from a professional or it will cause problems to my relationship because of the patient confidentiality privacy laws and the fact that my current significant other is aware of what I'm diagnosed with, what I went through in my past and what I currently just went through but expects me to not react a certain way or just feel a certain emotion, which would make me feel like I'm not entitled to feel because I was told not to. I apologize for typing up so much, but I hope to continue learning from the videos and that everyone else does as well.

I was married with a covert narcissist for 16 years....if you meet one, RUN!!!

She really nailed it with the idea of our society and “success” being tied into narcissism

Thank you Dr. Romani I found your channel about a week ago and the reason I listened was my girlfriend has been calling me a narcissist for years I didn't really think I was but I knew little about it and when I started listening to you with a couple of minutes I could have sworn you had cameras hidden in my house everything you was saying I'm saying she does that and everything you was saying about the victim was me exactly I've watched every video of yours I can find in the past week and just knowing makes me feel so much better I was questioning my sanity and my self esteem is gone its been a long 5 years and I've done everything for her kept thinking she was going to change now because of you I know that will never happen so I've started getting everything in order and I'm breaking up with her tomorrow and I will take whatever she's got I've been taking her abuse for years and I have no doubt she will have a new boyfriend by the weekend she has cheated on me more than once and I'm sure more than I know I will keep you up to date on how it goes and I would never be doing this if it wasn't for you so thank you thank you thank you

My father is definitely a covert narcissist it all make sense now..

She is an excellent speaker. Does she have her own TED talk yet? If not, why not???

I love Dr. Ramani's explanations. The 1.9K people that downvoted this video are probably narcissists that got offended.

I had to share this with some friends. We all had a short friendship with a common person who played each of us against each other, until finally we all broke off our association with her. We are all licking our wounds from her. Sadly, she wants and needs friends but if everything doesn’t go her way, she would flip on a dime and rip into whoever happens to be nearby.

I knew one narcissist woman - now I realized I know two such women. The first one is your typical grandiose narcissist, but she had an episode of helping homeless animals. I was so confused by that but now I know it's just a variety of her narcissism. The other woman is a covert narcissist and I always believed she was depressed. Dr Ramani clarified that for me. Great informative interview

In my experience they DONT have friends or real friends just acquaintances and whoevever is able to stick around for long is probably because they are getting some sort of reward back. Say night outs in the best clubs with payed table services, maybe even drugs, connections to meet other people etc. Its impossible to be around these people for long if you dont have to.

My mother is a malignant narcissist, straight up. I think the determining characteristic might be profound vindictiveness. When my 60 year-old mother is 'offended' she becomes extremely vicious and vindictive. At that time, I had been a nurse for 17 years and in one evening she destroyed my career by calling the police and making up a story that I hit her. I was subsequently arrested for domestic violence and lost my nursing administrative position. Went NO contact 10 years ago and haven't looked back. RUN, do not walk from these people.

Very educational. I see narcissism in every turn. I dealt with a narcissistic girlfriend for the last three years. I would categorized her as a covert narcissist. A lot of self pity, low self confidence, zero empathy, instability. This is so her. Does not take constructive criticism very well. No accountability. Thank you for your insight and expertise in the matter. Definitely subscribing. Thanks again.

Me too. I close my eyes and listen to her and I feel she is right here with me , advising me and teaching about those SickMINDED PEOPLE !!

She's someone you can listen to for hours. So interesting and articulated.

Just escaped a 9 month relationship with a narcissist. These videos are really helping me process what just happened . Thank you so much!

I can't stress enough how this woman saved my life. 💜

I think your wonderful not a broken record. I never thought of it as a brain injury narc abuse. Years ago you didn't know how to deal with it. Gaslighting years ago was never heard of. I have forgiven myself years ago just working with what I had. Al-Anon helped me a lot. I had a grief period few months back listening to these talks as it stirred up a lot of flash backs but it was healing as I could see what had happened to me all these years ago. I am patient with myself and I like myself as one time I didn't like the person I had become. Now I have been getting educated and I'm so grateful to you. Life is just fabulous. Years ago I hate Sydney Harbour because I never had a good experience there. Now I love it. God has looked after me all these years, but ended up banging me on the head saying Helen wake up.

If you are suffering because of a narcissist, remember you are loved, beautiful and worthy. Never give up on yourself! 💗

13:26 "We do live in a very materialistic society and as long as that's the case. Narcissism is going to win" -- Dr. Ramani.

I just learned that my mom is a covert narcissist... makes a lot of sense now when thinking back on growing up

My 73 yr old mother is a covert communal narcissist. Thank you for the info. Knowledge is power ❤❤😊

I love the way she said " I couldn't sell water in the desert" i can relate to her

Four types of narcissists: ME, ME ME ME!

She definitely has the correct mixture of high intelligence and sociable relatability

I'm fighting with a severe alcoholic abusive ex, who influenced his first two kids to not see their biological mother. My two little kids will not go through the same trauma. We will battle in court. 15 years of trauma, broken ribs, and skull fracture, terrified kids in the household keeping silent to the abuse due to fear. I have so much video evidence. I am ready. I AM happy to break a evil curse.

My biggest experience was with Covert. Huge victim complex, woe is me, I'm so talented but the world doesn't give me enough opportunities, no one's feelings matter except mine, people should love and support me no matter what I do.

thank you i was manipulated so bad. i lost myself with a narcissist. i've been healing thanks to Jesus. very informative video.

I love the point made at 11:35 onwards. Some people may exhibit narcissistic behavior but not necessarily be a narcissist. It's so important to be honest with people you care about and to not be a "Yes" man to avoid conflict. Their response to your honesty will reveal who they really are.

She's ahead of her time. Blessing to this pioneer doctor.

Thank you for making this video! My ex is a covert narcissist. This video helps me so much in understanding why he behaved the way he did and never cared about my feelings. Everything centers about him and all he ever wanted to speak about was him and his life and his struggles in PhD and his this and that and it's always him him him him him. I was caring and kind and did everything I could to be there fo him. He gave me nothing back, literally nothing. Beware of these people cause all they do in a relationship is to take. They take and take and take and take until they drain you and use you up and they discard you and go off to find new supply.

If I'm honest to myself, then I'm a bit of a covert narcissist and usually show it during times of anger. Strangely, I find it rather easy to admit, but now I want to know how to get rid of that quickly because that isn't making me proud of myself in the least!

I always enjoy watching and listening to Dr. Ramani...Dr. Ramani, your expertise is invaluable. Thank you for all you do..xoxo

Amazing! Dr. Ramani brought light into my life. My mother is a narcissistic person. She has done it with me for years , she has done it with my father until he become an alchoholic and died from drinkink last year ( he told me repeateadly she s mean). Now she lives with me and husband (she played the victim and we felt sorry and a guilt if we don t ask her to live with us) and she made my life a hell in 1 year of living together. She wants to control everything, if she cannot she plays the victim, always unsatisfied, always in bad mood, always giving approval on what we are supposed to do or not, ironic, disrespectful, extremely curios, hiding food etc. My husband is manipulated and falls for her, i was in a mental breakdown and thought I had problems until I watched dr Ramani. That triggered what my father had told me for so many years. 😔 and what i am living now.

Coverts are villians who plays the victim so well

I have only watched 2 videos of her speaking intelligently and she never failed to get my mind blown.

This is so enlightening. The only question I have is regarding the communal narcissist. I know many in the animal rescue community who post about helping animals and about giving to charities because they want to promote the charity. They are not dressed up and going to balls. They are humble people inspiring others to give by giving themselves, or who are showing rescues they've been involved with, which is always making me want to do more. I'd rather that they did share! It seems there is a difference outside of Los Angeles, where this interviewer obviously lives since that keeps coming up. I guess that is where people are giving but actually just interested in getting praise for it? I would hate for people to start to feel like they can't share their charitable work, since most of the stuff I see is promoting help for the animals and kids and getting people to remember they exist and need help. I've been quite motivated by the work of others, and it also is good for fund-raising efforts. I often see Farm Sanctuary, for example, showing volunteers and rescues of abused farm animals. If they "did their work quietly" and never told anyone, as suggested in the part on "communal narcissists," I wouldn't know about them or have changed my ways for the better!