HE GOTTA EAT. ALSO, You gotta come to San Antonio, TX!

Kurtboy

hi mayor how are you !!

OK!!

I would have bought it if it was called GoblinSheild.

well, it settled for the dog food... and sarah

@@madkat1012 oh dear…

don’t worry, when she gives birth it will eat the baby :)

@@mayapapaya1915 THE SMILE AJSKJSKS

@@mayapapaya1915 Food dispenser 😍

BRO THIS COMMENT IS SO FUNNY LMAO

Look at you now, you've been vored, cucked, and to top it off your lawn is covered in goblin shit.

I mean to be fair, I wouldn’t exactly believe someone if they told me a goblin touched my window

It’s not gaslighting, he didn’t know there was a goblin and he was trying to comfort her because he thought she was just being paranoid because they’re in a new place. He believed what he was saying, too. Not trying to defend him, he’s not a good guy, but that wasn’t gaslighting

@@hopepapernacky it was a joke my boy

Well yeah can’t be too sure it won’t eat the baby or her other kid for dominance 😍

Don’t kink shame

Stop- 😭😭

Goblin Hybrid Baby Daddy??? 😭😭😭😭

facts 😭

Haha you're right.

or a christian mom trying to teach her kids about their privates

600th like

666th like

​@@LucyDMusic I love America.

WJEJDJSHSHS FR FR

Not only that, but the goblin that ate him proceeded to bang his wife and get her pregnant 💀

kinda relatable gotta say😕

@@G0thBug Elias is the old guy

@@G0thBug As Kurtis said, get some help, because there are only 5 characters and You still don't know who is who.

I just made this my instagram bio

naur don't give them ideas

@@rain.8480 nobody “old” has their pronouns in their bio

@@peenyyt4921 yes they do. Depends on their personality

I want to put that in my bio now

Your dad told you what?! :')

@@jonnnnniej it was written by Hans Christian Andersen

@@monikorasort oh it makes sense

@@jonnnnniej i can think of like 3 fairytales where smthn like that happens lol

​@@monikorasort was it as gay as the Little Mermaid?

That's why Michael Cane went into acting, too. He said there were a ton of pretty girls in his acting school and he wanted to get laid.

​@@shwahgamerwell, he also became an award winning actor in the process so....

the SMIRK she gives to the goblin💀 crying and throwing up👋

Now that's a horror movie. But I personally prefer the goblins from the cave.

Pregnancy is pretty scary. 😩

Also just 🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮

Same here! But then I immediately started laugh crying out of shock .

You’re absolutely right

I hope so too, because it's amazing!

Right up there with the Barbie “balls” with reverb sound effect

That 'Oh, god!' lives rent-free in my mind now

Hahha

Same, hearing the goblin say ''It's Goblin Time'' then gobbling all over Danny was my favourite part

​@@Random-sk6hmHe was gobling danny up

Wait, can I have a time stamp for that? I didn't catch it

@@aghost7721 ohhhh

I was literally pissing and shitting myself when that happened

Oh my god you might be right, it's a fucking fetish film, that makes so much sense.

Yeah a fetish film made by a goblin

MY JAW DROPPED AND STAYED THAT WAY TILL THE END LMAO

The ending broke me

I haven't reached the end yet... Should I stop watching?

@@saorise28 The ending is so insane you should see the movie just for it

Oooo godddd

Maybe goblins are attracted to elderly German men lol.

@@calowenby1654 But Sarah wasn't an elderly german man tho- or was she?🤤

​@@calowenby1654 The goblins got a type 😏😏

I don't know about the realistic accent part...

Huh?!.

Me to like😭

"This is my family, this is my mom, our dog and Shrek lives with us"

💀

Hey. Have you ever been to Cloud City?

"Do you get to the cloud district very often?" "Oh, what am I saying?" "Of course you don't"

shenmue vibes

"Hm? Need something?"

SERIOUSLY ASFHWLRFHRW i had my volume up and didn't see it coming so it genuinely scared the shit outta me

I laughed so hard

OHH HELLO THERE

The scariest thing about this movie is the implications at the end.

i nearly fell off my chair

I mean sometimes, sure, but i grew up hating horror because of how easily i transposed the creatures or creepy discoveries into my real life

I'm late but this is so interesting!! I have rly bad anxiety and love horror movies too !

I have GAD and hate horror 🤣 but interesting theory coz I used to love true crime but that's more real events that could actually potentially happen to me so idk

And then there’s me, with horrible anxiety who can’t watch horror movies because I get awful night terrors and won’t be able to sleep without every single light on everrr 😭

I have anxiety and I love horror movies too, but I can't watch them unless it's daytime and I'm in a well lit room with at least one person I'm comfortable with

She was smiling to

She wanted it to eat her, too.

girlboss move

Talk about a fuckin spoiler 😤

Death is one of her kinks.

Reading this comment before the video wow very excited for the video

there’s a whale on the loose!!

​@@guhmachineHe then manages to find and kill it.

dont get too attached to him

new movie trope???

One in Trolls 2 as well

That's my only personality trait

Grandpa seth

what's with these bot replies

@@kathaai FRR/I love loona

@@kathaai dude I see them every time I comment something. So weird

@@kathaai Report all of them! It's what I'm doing. If they get enough reports, they'll be deleted. It's driving me crazy. The same accounts flooded Jarvis's video too.

I love that movie!

@@calowenby1654 yeah it’s really good! Such a cool use of the uncanny valley!

A movie called Possum, about a spider, being a metaphor for childhood abuse- ...I'm endlessly intrigued!

@@damienearl8302 it’s very interesting! It’s about a man who uses a spider puppet (Possum) to deal with the sexual abuse he faced from his uncle after he has to return to his hometown when he is fired and a young boy goes missing

@@miajohnson4025 Fascinating, I've gotta give it a watch sometime!

Omg me too

Me too

The only time 9 months is mentioned in movies is to imply pregnancy

She gave him a shy smile when she served that kibble. Like..what kind of penis does a goblin have? I imagine it’s barbed tho

@@baddie1shoe i just assumed it was all wrinkly and shriveled up, like a rotten jalapeno

The most disturbing part to me is the fact that she’s not even in a relationship with the goblin like it doesn’t live in her house with her it lives in her shed and shits in her yard like a dog

lmfaooooo

LMAO

"I gotta eat"

That goblin got Gonkers That goblin got Gommy Gilkers

You’re rightttt OML 😂

*Goblin sharks are the true horror of the ocean-*

Plus it could be about a goblin sharks!

Goblin sharks are scarier than any horror movie

Genius

💀💀💀

I mean I get your point & it’s funny to think about, but you know you can’t necessarily tell how far along someone is by how big their stomach is, right? Lol. Obviously if it’s huge it’s safe to say they’re pretty far along, but some people’s stomachs aren’t that big even at the very end of their pregnancy.

LMFAO

@@narcie13 there are normals, and if you're well educated on the subject you can guess and be around right. But people are in fact different and every pregnancy is unique.

@@narcie13 but if you do the maths, babies typically born between the eight almost nine months of pregnancy, if the baby was from danny we can asume that maybe she was a few weeks pregnant so if it's 9 months later the baby should've already born...... if 9 months after danny's death she hasn't had the baby i think we all can come to the conclusion that that is NOT danny's baby 🤨🤨🤨

"Nightmare" suuure, this is unrelated to the slime monster porn in your history?

@@crabsnake4556 Wut lad?

A wee possessive, ain’t he? I’m guessing that’s what won her over tho... So goofy so silly 🤪

@@eialys So is this a dating strategy you would recommend?

It's the opposite of the infanticide seen in many ape societies. Goblin learned to read the room with Sarah

Yes the goblin was courting sarah

I’m getting Wattpad vibes

SAME LMFAO

That my friend, will be the plot of Goblin 2!

I think you put more thought into that than anyone did for the actual movie :(

That would’ve made it sm better

@@milessara87 there already is a Goblin 2, it’s called Troll 2.

True!!! BTW these spam bots!! WTF?

@@70ren They've become so much worse the last month or so and youtube does jack squat about it, it's so annoying

@@emilyb.8219 honestly it’s just insane how there’s no moderation or spam control on a site that’s been around this long

Don’t forget about Elderscrolls games! 😆

AHHHHH I SCREAMED 😱

If i wasnt at work when i watched this i wouldve screamed

Was already screaming about the week's profit from my investment and this video made me scream more😄😊.

My life has totally changed since I started with $ 7,000 and now I make $ 29,450 every 14days .

Mr. Franklin has been managing my trade for months and I keep making profit every week.

spoiler dude!

@@kimkoya3882 it's literally in the fucking video

Kinda sounds like a Wattpad story🥱😑🤪

Guillermo del Toro is giving a standing ovation

😂😂😂😂

Underrated comment

there is such thing as a goblin shark and they're ugly af

Jawblin Deez nuts

@@ashikjaman1940 I was just about to comment that bro

@@ashikjaman1940 😌 about to comment that as well

i might be a greg,but when Kurtis says "Danny" i actually think about Danny from Hawaii Five-0

he said that because there was nothing nice to say about it, it was a joke lol

@@futurehofer1564 i'm autistic and have tried my whole life to make sense of different types of humor, but i think i could've told even without all my research and ways to try to understand sarcasm or the use of irony as a means to cause amusement that this was a joke.... edit: THIS IS ACTUALLY SO EXCITING!! this is the first time i think i'm "outjoking" someone and SOMEONE DOESNT GET MY JOKE (the original comment) TELLS ME THEY THINK IM NOT GETTING A JOKE ABOUT THE SAME THING MY JOKE WAS ABOUT (kurtis having no clue how to describe this movie)!!!! (i know, this hurts to read; i'm really sorry, i tried but i can't word it in a better way) i'm kind of proud of myself now for real 😭😭😭 edit 2: now i'm gonna quickly forget about this exchange because i'm getting paranoid YOU were being sarcastic and i didn't catch it. lets pretend all i didnt write all of that and pray that no one but you (the person i'm mentioning) is reading that shit. sorry

@Leaf Elvan ohhhhh that makes me so happy!!! thank you so much 💗

it ony a movie

she could be overdue or it’s an approximation.

JD level bs

Her ex could've gotten her pregnant right before he died

@@WishGender yea but the implication here is pretty clear

Full term pregnancy is actually 40 weeks, so she could certainly still be pregnant at 9 months. But I do think the implication is still clear.

Genuinely, I was waiting the whole time for him to be really bad or do something ‘death worthy’ but he only seemed mildly neglectful and less of an ass than a fair number of protagonists Edit: oh never mind, I guess Kurtis left that out

at the end of the video after the ad-read kurtis says that he left out scenes of the father being abusive because he didn't want the video to be too heavy and he just wanted to goof around, but if you watch the movie there is scenes of him being abusive

I havent watched the video yet but SHE FOCKING WHAT-

thanks bro

@@sarahramdatt3651 LMAO NO PLEASE NO AKAKAKAMAKQKEMEKDJN3JSJSNSNS

She truly did girl boss a little too close to the sun.

​@@Julia-tk2em icarus is my favorite girlboss 😍😍😍😍

"Oh gAHD"

*”NOoOh”*

Bro danny was fire wdym, oh wait are we not talking about drew goo- I mean danny gonzalez

That moment when a 10 year old can act better than adults

@@completlynormalhypernova666 That ain't a 10-year-old, that's a 6-year-old.

depends where you live

Same omg 😂

been there before 😩

Oh shit my balls are exploding

Oh shit my balls are exploding

Oh shit my balls are exploding

Also it's surely not legal to hunt cougars, especially ones that aren't posing a threat to people

It's possible that it was just a cougar eating smaller animals and the goblin showed up by coincidence

And the fact he skinned it in his backyard and hung it up on a swing???

@@blaszaczka You mean to tell me that ISN'T a perfectly normal suburban activity to take part in!?

@@LoveLee_Dreamer I honestly don't know what Americans do in their free time, I'm Slavic, were just chillin' with our vodka while slav squatting

It’s not even infrared 😭😭

​@@lozercakezIk I was being ironic 💀the background is hotter than the person lmao

I hate this thought

He might've been a little bitchy but come on he DIED. Anyways it's a lesson to be nice to people or they won't be sad about your death😔😜☠️

Well he’s a “little fuckin’ brat” 4:51

Well same with the fuckin boyfriend lol, he just seems cocky, that's not really a great reason to wish death upon him. This lady is just off the charts, she's like "Oh my new stepson died? Oh well. I want to kill my husband now. My husband's dead now? Let's fuck a goblin."

I mean 🤷🏽‍♀️😂

Honestly if there was a Danny Jr. In my life I don't think I'd mind them disappearing.

I know I died 😂😂

ukposts.info/have/v-deo/r2hlnJ6NkI511o0.html

Indeed

My hero is mid

@@cisrot that avi you have is mid

Fun fact, my parents' first date was Shrek in cinemas and that's why I'm alive

@@lankyfishy your conception song is allstar

@@justjules24 I've accepted my fate. One of my friend's deadname is the first movie his parents saw together. Could you imagine if that was me?????

human shrek… god

so true

WHAT the fuck!

For me it was the "whAT thu fUck"

@@shoes_are_delicious that did top it too😂😂

Yes bruh I expected to laugh but HOly shit what an absolute icon

Honestly? He carried this movie

Yeah

That was the 2nd worst part of the movie

@@rosettekalombo3072 what's the worst part ?

@@meriamayari1278 everything else except the "oh god" sound bit

as it should be

I mean he could still be it they had done it the night before or something

@@ReidTheRulesGuy the suspicious shit is why the fuck that woman is smiling to the goblin?? like ??

@@tanaka4473 cuz it's her baby daddy, DUH

@@Vitasaurus imagine having fuck with the goblin. this is truly a horror movie

It didn’t say nine months to the day. I’ve seen other movies not involving goblins do the same thing with a husband dying and the wife is pregnant 9 months later. I think they just default to 9 months cause they know the audience knows that usually means someone is pregnant.

oh word?

@@davi6115 word

this is good to hear

That seems like a very suspicious thing. Idk why the teacher was like "ok and btw he drew a little goblin"

He’s gotta eat

wtf is a Beijing Beef actually is?

@@slushie3061 it do be food

@@guyfrietee6159 now you :) more headache

@@erika-rs3ns Has anyone really decided as to even go that far in wanting to do to look more like so?

LMFAOOO

Except the goblin would transform into a hot man

Shrek x Reader

@Do you hear that? XD

@@keepyourshoesathedoor spicey ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

Me watching my dad fix the car

It's a fucking meme moment right there and I wouldn't blame someone for making that their profile pic in the comments hahaha

😭😭😭😭😭

@@joannaalmazan4508 it’s me. i’m someone.

"Yay it's the ugly little backyard shit goblin! :D"

Fun fact animal control officers are cops for some reason

At least where I live

They're animal cops

@@clab. excuse me what They HAVE that much power?? That seems like such a bad idea 💀

@@Tw0Dots - This statement can be applied to either type of officer here.

yknow what, you’re right! count me in, too!

Tell darryl ill be there in 5

the chode part lmao

Yo count me in

Can I come?

Omg my favs interacting

Dhhd

this and sharkestein are on the same level and u can't tell me otherwise!

OMFG FAVES INTERACTION

It’s like baby elephant shit. Seeing as how it basically eats humans whole..I think it should be bigger. Maybe that’s why the Goblin has a beer gut dad bod..he’s constipated

*kills cougar* “IT MUST BE A BEAR” *kills bear* “it must be…. AN ORCA” “In a suburban neighborhood?” “SU AND HAND ME MY GUN”

Feels more like something from a children's picture book than something from a horror movie.

Maybe the real monster in Goblin WAS the great white shark

@@alleymercuryway7777 *grabs a harpoon* "Welp, I'm off to find myself a blue whale, keep my chair warm!"

Oh shit my balls are exploding

LMAO

Babadook: r34 edition

#TeamSea

Thankskilling (2008) is in the same tear.

Dude SPOILER!!!

@@gracekurtz7251 WAIT I DIDNT THINK ANYONE WOULD GET THE REFRANCE IM SO SORRY

And the CGI still looked like shit💀

@@coralinejones2721 cgi is expensive as fuck. Never a good idea to have the focus of a low budget project be cgi

@@notanagger4861 yeah I know. If they made better choices with their small budget it could have been a decent movie, but instead we get.......whatever the hell that thing was💀

@@No-ue5pi God damnit now I'm imaging a guy painted green taking a massive shit on a lawn

IKR? This feels like the idea of a semi drunk dude who watched The Babadook and said “Hey, maybe I can try that”!

The musical is SO GOOD and then the movie is just- Why cant we have nice things.

@@XemeraldXD yeah honestly

I mean, we DID get tap-tap-tapping on the glass

@@brilliantchaos5397 my new favorite cinematic parallel

@@brilliantchaos5397 Okay like I know I left a hate comment about the movie on another comment about this joke but yeah some of the songs kinda slapped I also did appreciate the choreography in Sincerely, Me even though I knew how fucked it was in the back of my head

ukposts.info/have/v-deo/foOEep2Oo3qTq4k.html…….

Honestly, funniest shit I’ve heard all day

"It's The Hulk"

@@dorkfishie8923 damn

i love ur pfp bestie

Love ur pfps besties

Goblin deez nuts lmao

i like all your pfps besties (◐∇◐*)

@@tanish4634 yall pfps are immaculate besties