Why not find a healthy medium between "free-range" parenting & "helicopter" parenting? It does exist..

I think parenting takes balance. Parents who are either side of this issue, to the extreme, can end up causing harm. That's why parenting can be difficult because knowing when to ease up and buckle down is a day to day decision.

What Izzy is allowed to do the kids in Germany are generally allowed to do and capable of doing. How else will they learn? I let my kid roam free within certain limits. He has to tell me where he is going and needs to be back by a certain time for dinner. I trust him. He would not want me with him at all times. To be fair, we do not live in a metropolis like NY city, but even there I would take care that he learns his way around on his own. Bravo to this mom.

it's pretty obvious that the last mother and daughter, that daughter, once she turns 18, she's going to be gone and cut contact with her mom

The mom who asked to boy to pee in a cup is so inappropriate

We are not dealing with today’s kids. We are dealing with their parents.

She’s really invested in her child feeling capable, aware and independent. It’s a high value. That’s why she did that. She’s a great mom!

I actually think it's great to give your child a sense of autonomy, it prepares them for life

I think that the over the top mothering could possibly create a lot of anxiety for the kids perhaps?

My husband rode the subway... In the 60s ..in Brooklyn New York... He was 9yr old... Like I said... It was 1960...the better Old Day

I was allowed to go into my own shopping centre of the town at 9 . Got the bus and went around with my bestie. I think it helps build confidence. I don't think there are any more predators today than there were before.

My dad was one of thise parents who wouldn't allow me to do ANYTHING. when u did get freedom I took the absolute piss . I lied to my parents about where I was going.. who I was with.. I still ended up pregnant at 17 because as soon as I got an opportunity to move out of home I was gone . I cane back qoth my tail between my legs , pregnant ,alone and broke. So it made no difference to the outcome . The very thing he tried to save me from happened anyway and I have a deep rooted issue with the constant feeling of being trapped . I raised my kids the opposite.. I trusted them to make thier own mistakes.. all are over 18 ..I have no grandkids yet .. they are between 18 and 24 now..all are driving.. working / college.. It definatly proves pilot parenting isn't the best way .

As a child of 1963 = in Sydney, Australia = we did this all the time as & from 7 years of age - including plane travel on my own!!!🌟🌟🌟

Back in the 90's our parents were pretty hands-off. I enjoyed riding my bike to the pool and convenience store with friends and walking to school. But looking back I was definitely in some shady places with potentially dangerous people. I had a friend who lived on a street with gang activity, and I remember going to a sleepover at her house and her mom worked nights and wasn't there. Another sleepover at a friend's dad's house (who had lost custody of her) and he was definitely checking out the 12 year old girls in his house, saying which ones were the prettiest. 😮 I think middle ground is a good place to be.

People these days don’t want to get involved and to think hundreds of people will look out for them is naive

At the end of the day most people are decent and wouldnt hurt a child! You cant protect your kids forever! I admire this mum i think she's great!

'He's surrounded by hundreds of people who would help him'...lady it's not their job, it's yours...

Demanding a UA of someone elses child is wrong. period.

My mum was definitely a lighthouse parent. Was always there for me to go back with the lights on.

I applaud the mom who gives her son freedom. Its clear the kid wasnt just tossed out there without quite a bit of education regarding directions, transportation, warnings about people to beware of, etc. My parents (mom) were more of the free roaming type, and I was taught to check in, pay attention, etc. However, due to my OCD, one of the reasons I chose to not have kids is because I would have most likely been the annoying helicopter mom and I didnt want to subject a kid to that. I also knew kids who were on a very short leash with their parents (mom), and they often werent capable of making decisions, reading expression and body language of other people, and in some instances of kids that were being hovered over would become reckless when given a chance if they were off the leash. I think there is a happy medium, but I favor the free roaming parenting with education and precautions over the hovering helicoptor mom.

I like your channel! I have had such a hard time finding free Dr. Phil shows. I loved this episode about "free range kids".😅😅 I grew up in the 60s and 70s. We were ALL "free range kids"! There wasn't any other kinds of kids!

I was free ranger!! Daughter now 35. She took train by herself at age nine. To a summer sailing class.

I hope those kids who have controlling, ocd, hover parents don't meet a husband or wife who controls them like this. It's crazy and making them insecure, naive and ripe for predators of all kinds.

Blonde mom is for real going to drive that girl to run like hell,the first chance she gets!!!

What you fear the most can, infact happen. These hover moms are unkowingly making these kids rebel and enabling them to fall into wrong hands.

My daughters are 42 and 34. My son in law is 47. We know always where the other one is. It's for safety reasons here in South Africa.

She is so spot-on!!

I would never ever let my son do that. Something could happen to him, even though nothing didn’t.

Speaking as a mom to six kids, born/adopted over the course of 21 years ~ I might be more inclined to let my sons be a bit more 'free range' than my daughters. When my first kids (both boys and girls) were old enough to 'run the neighborhood' during the early sixties, everyone could be out the door after breakfast and I'd have no idea whose yard or house they might be in. By the time my last child was born, in 1980, she was most definitely 'helicoptered' (by me). She was able to do most anything she wanted but I needed to check everything out, beforehand. She's 44 now and I recently asked her if she felt I was smothering her childhood. She said, "No. I felt like you were concerned for my safety. I was fine."

I’m glad Dr Phil didn’t think it was reckless.

Over protective mothers were under protected daughters

I'm not sure when this show was actually taped but not recently. The situation in NYC now (2023/24) is horrific and the crime is through the roof. Most adults are afraid to go into the subways with the violence, theft and murders. If she'd let her son take the subway now (and I'm familiar with that subway where she's referring cause I took it every day) she'd want him escorted with body guards. I'm not a helicopter mom but a young child there now is being thrown into the belly of the beast.

This lady obviously hasnt seen all the viral videos of adults being assaulted on the ny subway without anyone helping my son was 13 before i would let him go with a group of friends without me and i always track him. Id rather be safe than sorry when it comes to the most important people in my life

One mom is coming from a place of confidence. The other is coming from a place of anxiety. You tell me who is right.

You think its no big deal until he gets kidnapped

I completely support her. I think it's terrific! I let my kids be independent and now they are amazing adults.

Thank u for this show!!!! I've learned a lot about how to parent my teenage son!!!!

There are things called rites of passage. Like drinking underage let them have one hangover. It wont happen on a regular basis

The people who are screaming that its dangerous for the kid to walk around the city himself do not understand that this is how New Yorkers raise their kids. My father made me memorize the “grid” (up to Harlem). And I would talk the subway to broadway dance center by myself when I was YOUNG. It’s safer to have a kid that knows how to escape regardless of circumstance. It doesn’t matter if you are “there” as a parent. If you have lost control of a situation, and something happens to YOU your kid needs to know how to leave and get home safely.

I have grown up in NYC and also have spent time on LI . I feel safer having my kids out and about in the city full of people ,than riding their bikes around the suburbs and it's many lonely roads .

The first mom makes me think of Diane Keaton. I would never forgive myself if someone took my kid n I never saw them again.

Second mom is nuts but she’s funny asf 🤣🤣

Dr Phil is right about the internet. I've been told by young people that college recruiters & potential employers are asking for Facebook accounts. These young people don't think that far ahead when they post these things at such a young age that it's FOREVER out there & may come back to haunt you. I'm so glad I grew up when I did (60's-70's); another age, another time. My children were in school when the internet was invented but too young for social media; our only computer was for school homework & not located in a bedroom & cell phones were not in personal use yet. I was in my 40's before I had my first cell phone. My children bought their own as adults. I'm thankful for grown children now. It's a scary world today to raise children. I might be more helicopter TODAY too if mine were little.

I walkt home in the little village in sweden to and from school from at least year 4. In högstadiet and gymnasiet i study 22 miles from home because of school special need students. Took the train home alone most of the time notting ever happend. Some day you will need to go from a to b alone.

I understand this mom being so protective. This world we live in is so unpredictable and unsafe anymore.

But the map WAS a really good idea.....that part I liked ALOT !! WOW !!!

My father was left to his own devices as a kid in 1960-70s riding the bus in LA, walking to school etc. he was the last of 5 kids and my grandparents weren’t paying much attention by then. He was nearly abducted by a man from the playground of his school, a man attempted to molest him on the city bus and he was chased by another older boy who was trying to molest him. All three times he got away. But just barely and all three deeply scarred him. A teacher punched the would be abductor out, he ran and hid from the older neighbor boy who was trying to hurt him. By the time the man made a pass at him on the bus he carried a hunting knife. My dad showed it to him and told him he would cut his b*lls off if he touched him. The man left him alone but of course these horrible experiences really scared him and messed him up some. He was a good parent though. Not over the top but aware

Heyyyyyy I raised my kids this way, they grew up confident and self-sufficient, no “failure to launch “ here, now both are almost 40. Sadly times have changed.

I’m 38 years old and my parents are still over involved. I have a hard time distancing myself from them bc they threaten when I do. My mom is a severe narcissist

Let’s talk about New York today. This didn’t age well.

I used to watch a show YEARS ago where they would follow a young child to record their first solo mission. It was great 👍 bad things will happen, there are very very bad people in the world. It's our job to empower children to be able to keep themselves safe even in the limited capacity they may have. For me where I live it's not close to much so walking wouldn't be an option but at age 7 or 8 I was walking about 5km to school with my big sister and then home or to my mom's office by myself. I had my route set and new people along the way, we had drills to teach how to escape and evade. I don't look back and think damn that was scary, there was more to be scared of in my family. The monster is sometime closer than you would think

Her son is very bright,

These are the kinds of moms when the children leave they don't want to come back.

Believe me, chances are that people will not help.

Why ask McGraw for advice and not take it .the mother of the girl being home schoolrd is nuts . The girl stays in bed bc she CAN . She doesnt have to get up for school cos she sits in the house all day.

I started work delivering bread to bread shops I was 12 years old and I loved it. As soon as I left school at 14 they gave me a full time job . Kids today have no Idea we had swings everywhere we swam in the reservoir we camped out in the woods we climbed trees we had fun. The kids today have no fun their heads are always looking at phones or I pads.

By the time I was 9 I knew half the city. By the time I was 14 I knew all the bus routes. I thank my mom for letting me explore because it allowed me to be self sufficient by the time I was 16. By 18 I left for the other side of the country

Back in the day, at 9 years old, we were taking buses everywhere. Could read maps, would walk a mile to school in all weather, would walk three miles and back from a friend's house, would walk five miles downtown to shop, get our hair cut, and back. Parents never thought that we were not old enough to do it. Of course, that was in the early 60's...we rarely went along though, almost always with a friend, just cause it was more fun and part of the plan. We'd go down to the creek and swimming hole for a half day. We'd take the gocart to the school, a mile walk, and ride it in yhe school parking lot and soccer field. We just had to be home before dark. 😅

Train your kids....deffo....I remember being told I was too strict with chores...my kids could clean a bath room at 6. I don't feel too good about my 9 year old grand children making way home from city....but I really really get this lady she kn9ws her kid his intelligence his capabilities. I applaud her

I walked to school when I was 7 years old by my self and also sometimes took the city bus went shopping etc all alone But I grew in the early 70s it was safer And didn’t live in a big city

I'm not a parent but I don't think I would allow a 9 year old to roam New York alone. What about predators?? The subway? Come on lady, it would be different if he was a little older. He's tiny enough to just grab!

What’s important is starting to communicate with your children when they are small, with that I mean mostly listening to them and their thoughts ideas etc, not pushing your own fears and ideas on them. Ask questions that makes them think and reflect of friendships, on feelings - both their own and others. On how to react and protect themselves. My own daughter went through a phase! in her midteens where she embraced the EMO style, had pretty extrem taste. Luckely she didn’t like short skirts, only trousers. But we discussed, she could come home complaining about peoples stare at her, and all i could say was if you chose to dress like you do you have to take the consequences, and if you want to dress like that - do it with some style. I wasn’t worried about her dressing like that for the rest of her life, I knew it was a phase. And parents often tell these daughter who experiment with their looks - you don’t have to wear makeup or dye your hair - you are beautiful as you are. And I say - this is who they are, right now. So do you love as they are? Or as you want them to be. Today my daughters is extremely welldressed, hardly wear any makeup, doesn’t have any addiction, well educated and work as Art Director. So talk, discuss, engage but let them explore and come to their own conclusions. With common sense of course. Can’t say I wasn’t worried sometimes, but I rather had her with me than against me. And I was Very clear and gave her my thoughts on drugs and alcohol, we had discussions on that from she was around 10 year, always on her level of understanding.

The last mom actually made me sick to my stomach. The fact that she refused to hear what he was trying to tell her was infuriating. She couldn’t understand that the rebellion was a reaction to a lifetime of control and smothering . And she sat there smugly talking about how incompetent her daughter was. And her smugness just made it ten times worse. It brought back so many memories of me growing up. My heart is pounding out of my chest right now. I thought I had gotten over my resentment towards my mom for doing the same to me, and I’m too embarrassed to admit how I am still having this strong of a reaction to it. Time to go back to therapy!

Lenore is crazy! They should take her kids far away!

One of my happiest memories is just after 18th bday, myself and older brother went to puerto Villarta. Our room was robbed including our cash and plane tickets. We made do and eventually got home but the stops in between, still makes me feel lucky to be alive. lol. But, it’s absolutely one of my best memories and I still laugh about it.

Hands off so they learn responsibility

Hands off 100%

Some freedom yes, but hell no in a big city

My twins are 27 one has severe fnd heart arythmia I am bit protective of her but it was amazing she got a luxouiouse uber into h3r treatment was so proud of her though she needs someone with her she actually did it her self so proud of her

I think it depends on the child and the area you live. People were always going to judge

The mom that set her 9 year old in the middle of New York with a map and her fingers crossed.......is a nut job ! Too busy vlogging !!!

This woman is crazy letting her boy do that!

I think this mom is nuts & for Dr Phil to agree with her is even more nuts. You don’t take these chances letting your 9 yr old or any young age child roam NYC alone no matter how smart they are! I live in NYC & this stuff happens everyday. There are way too many crazy people & dangerous circumstances that could happen! I feel so bad for this little boy!

Oh the things I could tell you .Things I wish I didn't know to be true. Let's just say, your children are Not safe at school, church,walking to and from anywhere alone, in stores, at playgrounds without a parent or adult you trust. Never let a child go alone until they are at least 14. And can defend themselves. Home should be the safe place...God help us if not there then where?

It’s not the same world it was when I was a kid in the 70’s. There needs to be a happy in between in this day and age.

I had a very over protective dad, even worse than the mum on here. I wasn’t aloud to go on school trips or stay out at a friends house. I feel like it really damaged my social skills and it’s why I can’t make friends easily. I didn’t really have a main friend group at school because we were never aloud to go on bonding trips with school like camping etc.

14:55 MEEE 😭😂💀

The size of that 12 year old boy in the film , no one is going to grab him.

Sorry, there’s no way a 9yo is equipped to handle roaming around NYC. If everything goes well, he will be fine. But all it takes is one predator, one accident, one mentally unstable person and he will be faced with a situation he doesn’t have the skills or resources to handle. The classic line is the 9yo saying he doesn’t need to be treated like a child. Yes, kid, you do-you ARE a child.

my daughter had her first sleepover last year (not at a relatives house) she was 7 it was a neighbors house with their older daughter who she adores and she had so much fun!! I understand fear of some things and u should be but we need to teach our kids to be independent appropriate to their maturity and age…We let our son stay home when i ran to store when he was 10 i have great neighbors told them hey just keep an eye out he had his phone and knew to go to the neighbors with any issues was gone for 30 mins he did great….small steps

Thank you Mom (mine) for always knowing when and how to teach me to be independent.........it has taught me to use good common sense........the little boy was very articulate.........so what......can't talk your way out of being grabbed .......he's a child.........she's one too very immature thinking !

Ya my mother smothered me n my little brother n by 14 I was running away constantly on drugs Pregnant by 17 Like man I just wanted a breath of fresh air But I went too far just to have a feeling of freedom n I regret it all now

I'm not sure that 9,10, or even 11-12 are a bit young to be running around a big city. I lived in a small town but it was back in the 60's & 70's and everyone knew everyone we knew who our neighbors, and store owners, most of our teachers lived in town. But now days you hardly know your nextdoor neighbor is. So i don't feel it is ok to have your children going by themselves without supervision. But i don't believe in hovering over them either.

Some may not agree with the first mom but she is not negligent in any way. She isn’t leaving her kid at home alone at 6 to go do her own thing and party or something. She’s given her child the tools and life skills he needs and that’s a great parent! The second mom is going to end up creating what she fears because her kids are going to sneak out and do something and she will have no idea where they are or what they’re doing and they won’t feel safe calling if they need help with something. I think I’d be too nervous to let my 9yo on a subway alone like the first mom but I still don’t think she’s a bad parent for it and he obviously has the confidence and ability to get around and probably discern who is maybe someone he could ask for help etc (vs teaching stranger danger and then your kid doesn’t know who to ask for help if they need it).

5:16 there's a big difference between hovering and being protective and mindful of danger .. she's a 'I don't care about what happens'

The abducted little boy walking to school in NYC a decade ago put many parents on alert. I think both these moms are at the extremes. First, it depends on the city and state you live in. What is the neighborhood like? Where is the child going? Are they going in a group or by themselves? Who has a cell phone? A metro card? If a teen has been riding the subways in NYC all his life, he is going to be a hell of a lot more street savvy than a kid who is visiting for two weeks. Simply because there are so many pedophiles out there, I would never allow a child to walk the streets alone -- a person could yank him into a dark alley and kill, kidnap or rape the child. When I grew up in a small college town from 1951-1969, we would ride our bikes around town age 10+ -- to the local pool, to our music lessons across town, to friends who lived on the other end of town. We would ride out into the countryside with a friend on backroads. But that was long ago. That town is still probably fairly safe though going to a fair where there are lots of strangers around or biking into the countryside, I would still want my kid to have two trustworthy friends along, and there should be a cell phone in each pre-teen's pocket. We allowed our 13 and 16 year olds to fly from Orlando to NYC to rendezvous with their aunt to fly on to Europe back in the 1990s. The kids were both extremely loyal to each other, sticking together, not wandering, and knew how to get around an airport having already flown with us numerous times. Our 16 year old in two short years would be flying to college coast to coast, so it was time to allow them to do that. Now travel is a piece of cake for them. Our daughter is a tour manager and travels to world over. The returning Mom used the objection that her daughter can't even get up on time, that she has to be up every morning by 7 AM. Well, no they don't. A few freshman classes might start at 8 AM -- prerequisites for later courses. But upperclassmen arrange their classes according to what time they are offered and whether the student is a morning or evening person. I went to college for five years at two different institutions and I only had 8 AM classes that were 3 hour art labs in darkrooms or printmaking studios. A junior college can work for students not quite ready to go off to a four year college, but in junior college, students can be less prepared, more willing to cut classes, and less bright, which means your classes are not going to be particularly rigorous or even interesting. The "profs" may be adjuncts without Ph. D.'s. Students do not only learn from profs but from their fellow students too. If the parents have taught their kids how to cook, do their own laundry, set their own alarms in HS senior year, agree to and follow curfews -- all that stuff and if they have built up a huge deposit of trust with their parents, parents are much more inclined to have faith in their kids that they will be able to go away to college, survive those first few weeks of homesickness and be self-starters and go to classes and study their buns off. Preparation begins in ninth grade. Give them freedoms in small units as they spread their wings. Do not allow the teens to have guests at home while you are not present. Make sure your daughters are on birth control so as not to end up pregnant if they are sexually active. And you don't cling to your older teens because that insulates them and gives them the sinking feeling of dread that they won't succeed or measure up to everyone else, or that the world is a bad place and that ppl are out to get them. You have to encourage them and SHOW them how the world works by traveling with them, balancing your checkbook with them, helping them to open their own checking account if necessary, mending their clothes, etc.

"Opening up the door in the summer and saying get out and come back when its dark"...some kids never came back. Some parents really need a reality check.

The teenager should pay for her college and be free

Statistically there may be more good people than bad, but there's still a lot of bad a 9 year old isn't ready for. 9-15 is a huge jump in adult readiness.

I wasn’t allowed to go to the city till 13 , maybe 9 is a little young as he can’t defend himself but I would certainly give him a card with money in case he got lost or lost his money, I agree in the suburbs he should be able to get milk at the shops, you can tell if he or she is sensible, remember what they are doing or going to,men tried to pick me up when I was6ish but we ran away and they weren’t interested in chasing us🎉hovering is an over reaction

I think this is a great mom

He's a New York City kid folks .I agree with the mother

I had a very helicopter parent. I was adopted and abused so it wasn't a caring obsessive, but more so she expected me to always be getting into trouble so I wasn't allowed to do anything because of the abusive control. The MOMENT I got freedom, I didn't know how to handle it. I got tattoos, piercings, drinking, boys and I became a drug addict. Sure some is from all the abuse. And I can be a helicopter parent to a degree, but I'm just throwing in my two cents. Having very little freedom fucked me up.

Also, no cell phones at the time

Kids are not chickens. Free range kids... lol.

I mean, strictly speaking, kids are capable of free-basing crack, but, you know.....

I kinda agree with the first mom. For me growing up it was outside when the sun came up and as long as I was inside when the streetlights came on it was good. She's a good mom already teaching independence and trust. Why the backlash? Oh yeah....snowflakes and cancel culture. Also, I'm a mother of a child that is looking into the air force without me pushing her. Everything she is doing to prepare for her future is independent of me and she simply asks me for my thoughts and advice. Stepping back really does help your child in the long run.

Heck as an adult i won't go certain places alone. She is way too trusting of strangers in the world. Especially these days.

NINE years old! My parents 60 years ago would not have left me do that.

These moms are both very lovely Mothering doesn’t come with a manual Lol