ikr???

2020 is likely to be a very difficult census

The understatement of a lifetime.

I'm a census worker and people are completely miserable to me...

Yeah, aged like milk. I would put here a laughing emoji, it's just...

Now I'm disappointed too. Damn, what a missed opportunity that was.

People would've thought he was just some weird weeaboo doing cosplay. It was actually a bullet dodged.

@@ichijofestival2576 You think people in rural Minnesota know what a weeb is?

what isnt now, can get

Slow clap 👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾

Hope everything is ok. 🙃

You good now bud? Hope things got better for ya internet stranger.

Almost surely a state website, not feds.

Right!? Giving one person your name doesn’t take away the fact that by the time you’re 18 your information has definitely been shared amongst many government and private companies looking to make money off of you.

ok then why the fuck do i need to tell you if you already know what it is? fuck off im not telling the government shit because they dont care about anybody in poverty. the census is a fucking joke.

I think I found the Libertarian.

symbolic503 if there’s a miscount in your state, you can lose senate seats, that’s a big issue

Don’t forget probably every form of social media.

You guys give Starbucks your real name?

Except in Starbucks you can say your name is Zxlorbax IX and who can do anything about it?

@@Chipiliro613 and who can do anything about you saying the same to a census person?

"Drumpf" ...derp

@Ganiscol people still have those?

Are they even allowed to carry a gun? I wouldn't knock on anyone's door in the US without a gun. Bunch of bad asses those pensioners!

Be careful, those ladies... They love penetrate some butts without consent!

@@ilarious5729 Only government worker who are allowed to carry a firearm are the ones you'd expect. Police, Military, FBI and such. Every other government worker could be fired for having one on them during official business.

@@Glornak that makes sense, it would give a really bad look if the whole government was armed. but I'd maybe make an exemption for these guys. Well, rather no one having a gun but let's be honest, that's not gonna happen.

@@ilarious5729 Honestly i think a flashy badge and a panic GPS button would be most effective. Nobody would get violent once it became known the cops would be quick to respond. It'd be a federal crime after all so it's top of the list for police. Though that wouldn't do anything about the rude idiots who act like they're personal information is sacred.

That's the best possible way! Another one is musical!

Also a terrific episode of I Just Wanna Watch A Comedy Show and Go to Sleep But Now I'm Sad with Johnny Joy-Killer!

fsegsdrehge

"The original census, in 1790, asked just four questions: --The number of free white males aged: under 16 years and of 16 years and upward --Number of free white females --Number of other free persons --Number of slaves"

GO get ‘dem answers! And be safe! And do let us know how it went afterwards, cause wired is expected but fascinating is so much cooler.

How did it go?

Did you maintain the streaks?

... sent this to* me ...

In the immortal words of the great philosopher Abraham Lincoln, "Be excellent to each other."

Its outdated all other Western countries Just has a permanent accirat register. With every citizen having a unique number...

@Agent Smith No, no, no! You learned the wrong lesson from WWII. It's not "don't trust the government", it's "don't let your government be coopted by hard-right militants". The people should be working hard, and in unison, to create a government worth trusting rather than viewing it as an alien institution.

Yep. What was it with these shitty people treating Census worker like that? Always taught by my parent to answer them politely, offers tea or other refreshment and some cookies. And small pleasantry never hurts. They are doing a nation's duty.

Agent Smith what the fuck

Good for you. I salute you.

Sorry u have to deal with Trump

Thank you for your service to our country!

Well I can’t understand why you wouldn’t open the door for Census workers! When it is so important for your future prosperity in your local society

You’re talking to people who will follow these media-types’ advice and undermine accountability for the sake of being propagandized. Good luck.

I was definitely mildly interested

I was more than mildly interested!! Thank you!

I was especially looking for this comment, thanks for confirming. I heard the voice and thought : "Wait a minute..."

He was also the singer in a band called the Limelighters, who released a ton of folk albums. I grew up with their 1960 self titled album and their album "Through Children's Eyes". He and the rest of the Limelighters are my musical heroes, and I was delighted to see him in a John Oliver piece!

_Oh no._

what a toilet seat falling down when no one is there to have done it? i agree that sounds terrifying!

wait, you have those too? are you me?

There is a pub near me where the Ladies has a stall with two toilets in it.

My issue with it is that if you answer you have 4 toilets, then the group one has to be one huge sharing toilet, not a bunch of normal ones. He said how many toilets, not how many bathrooms. I'm too used to Seth Meyers, John Oliver needs to start doing corrections

Happens once every 10 years

Jonathan Stolow lmbo

Annabella Howard BINGO!!!

That explains it.

lmao

Coffee Jesus Deportables? Oh, shit, I read that wrong and got my hopes up.

Oh boy! Even though people can agree to disagree about what Obama did in office in terms of policy, I think that asserting that the 2010 Census was an "Obama conspiracy" is a bit too far.

@@soccerruben1 fascist love them conspiracy theories

@Craig X ^There's one now!

@Craig X Your info is already out there for anyone to find. If you have an address and pay for internet, your info is out. Sorry to burst your bubble.

@Issac Oshen I couldn't agree more 😣

I don’t think anyone is surprised.

As someone who is not attracted in any way to speedos or hamsters, I can assure you that I would very much like doing it because photoshopping stupid shit is one of my Favorite Things.

awesomecat42 sure you’re not

I want to like this but your at 69 so

I reckon every second episode of this show at minimum generates a lawsuit, actually. Why do you think HBO has its own legal team? Because it's a company standard to have your own law people on file? Nah, can't be that~

@@modothegreat108 Well, yeah, it is standard for any larger media company to have at least someone on retainer, if not an in-house legal team. But it is much funnier to think John is such a lawsuit magnet they basically need an in-house law firm.

@@djole94hns Yeah, that's the truth of it. But I do suspect John Oliver generates most of the HBO legal team's work.

@@modothegreat108 Yeah, I don't think drafting contracts for TV shows is as challenging as defending John from the barrage of lawsuits.

Well, at least any company or person who cares about PR will think twice about taking legal action against LWT after the magnificence of last Sunday.

I’ve been waiting for him to use my name on a show! He’s always talking about that burnout Greg.

Yes, that was a great drawing =)

Bro it wasn't Susan who drew it, that's a portrait of Susan.

Just let me say this: I ♥ tacos

Yeah it was a great drawing

Yes but they only use it to sell stuff to me and sell my information to others, like I'm a piece of meat, so others can sell me stuff as well, basically turning me into a money sponge, everyone can try me! Just because I gave one company access to my Information. It's not like they provide me with the infrastructure and security of a working state, making sure that the government I vote for represents me and mine correctly. It's the obvious choice to trust private companies over the Government. /s 🤦‍♂️

Shhh Libertarians don’t like it when governments does things, but are ok with it when corporations do it because capitalism, don’t question it

if you're stupid enough to provide correct information that is... Just because the sign up form says "Lastname" doesn't mean I put my last name there.

Uwe Schroeder That guy was definitely stupid enough to do it.

You don't need to give out personal information to have a UKposts account.

He didn't see covid comming

@@jmwloup5110 I think no one saw this coming. But Trump avoid counting some people using Covid as an excuse.

it's fun to compute

Ah. ...kraftwerk, classical

Ah, yes a wild Kraftwerk reference

The Kraftwerk musical

Satoshi Kon's Dreaming Machine

Spite incredibly powerful. A guy I knew said I'd never get a job in Colorado. Out of spite I applied for 10 jobs that night, proceeded to get one of them, and moved to Colorado.

Spite is what makes me get up in the mornings.

@@typacsk Spite...Not Sprite.

@@Guppusmaximus Ah yes, Spite Cranberry

I quit heroin out of spite

INERT impossible things actively awful for humanity delight trump

@INERT Doubling the fund for cancer research has a much higher chance of irritating Trump than defunding it.

Yeah, I call bullshit on that. Trump literally doesn't even know what the census does. I seriously doubt he cares who signs up for it, he's way too ignorant to keep track of that sort of thing

@INERT Well, Trump probably thinks the cancer research is the research on the star sign cancer!

INERT that’s not even close to the same thing

They make 30 an hr

@@asadmatsumoto8911 No they do not. They make 16-23 dollars an hr

meevluv well they advertised 30

@@asadmatsumoto8911 if they meant "up to 30" that would be true. You would have to be a team leader so you'd be training others and driving ppl to take the census.

@@asadmatsumoto8911 No $22 in NY...

Libertarians are what happens when you take a conservative, feed them lead paint, have them do whipits and then kick them in the head.

Many libertarians actually think the Constitution is of no value because no living person has ratified it.

@@ericreese7792 or maybe because it was written by only white men at a pub getting wasted.

@@ericreese7792 that's a much better point than I've ever heard a libertarian make

Said no libertarian ever!

I think Trump was thinking of home insurance lol

@@damystery123 Trump and thinking are two words that shouldn't really ever appear in the same sentence together. ;o)

Chris Boyd Apply ice directly to hot burn

I work in state conservation asset management and even we don’t do that. (But we can tell by just looking). Also we don’t walk up to people’s houses cause that’s notoriously a great way to get shot. Seriously, Mail carriers and census workers 👏DO 👏NOT 👏GET 👏PAID👏ENOUGH 👏

Lol

And that's a Disney fact!

Wait....He was in one?

@@enchainedtreasures he voiced the bird Zazu in the Lion King live action remake.

He was also Wax Sherlock Holmes on Gravity Falls. He's not getting hired for any cartoons either

enchainedtreasures zazu in lion king remake

GO TO YOUR ROOM!

Chris Rogers 🤣🤣🤣

And that’s a fact, a Disney Fact

@@nicp9178 *insert mickey giggling here*

At least we can replay that while we wait for another season.

You are absolutely right and the value of information he spews is more than any mainstream media would ever accomplish.

I don’t want to like that, but I absolutely do

And he will count (on) you

Actually... He can count you?!

Census Man is my parent's neighbor!

:D

Well yes, elections are more secure with classical paper ballots. And also, the census would be easier to do if there was a national ID system where actually every citizen is recorded.

@@MrNacknime Now we just have to create a national ID system, which would be much better than what we have right now, but all attempts have been shot down in Congress so we still have to dig up 5-6 documents to prove that we are who we say we are.

@@TheTrainmobile It's sad honestly. Instead we have this broken social security system that just gets everyone's identity stolen because it's being used in a way it was never intended to be used.

This is the perfect summation of everything Donald Trump.

This man is such a joke.

Makes me curious about the comments of that video,

there's a second wave of the MeToo movement coming - and this time the roles will be reversed!

Brofessor _ Remember, they can’t rape you if they don’t know your name!

@@margaritam.9118 Haha, exactly, if they only have your adress you are safe.

@@margaritam.9118 What if I give them a fake name?

Or is it a more suspicious way of saying, “My kids aren’t alive anymore”?

@@matrixphijr It could be, but I'm hoping it was just a Freudian slip

She was just chuckling at the fact that someone actually thought she was capable of giving birth at her age. Or she thought it funny that someone would think she had babies when her two sons are old.

i think its weirder that the interviewer assumed that someone, when asked who is in there family, would have a cut off for infants. as if babies are too young to be considered part of a family.

Exactly. The whole thing was weird, not just the woman's response.

Or maybe it's a woman going home to tell her husband about her day. #DesigningWomen, #Feminism 🤭

@@eileene.5870 Or maybe its a woman going home and telling her wife about her day. #LGBTQ #LesbianDesigners 🤭

@@mrjack08722 Or maybe it's a hamster going home to tell their spouse. #RodentRights #HamsterDesigners

@@Typheus Shiiieeet right. Sorry for being so human centric.

Ouch, man. Very ouch.

Disney Fact.

It's funny after Citizens United ruling the efforts to divide us went into overdrive.

@Drew Taylor the 14th Amendment???? The one that gives us citizenship at birth??

537monster correct me if I’m wrong but didn’t the Supreme Court rule the other year you can’t be held legally responsible for those contracts because they’re so impossibly long by design to ensure the majority of people won’t read them, therefore making them unable to hold up in court?

@@NinjaTyler don't know you heard that from but I haven't heard that. Sure they can't be used to sign away liability for dangerous acts but most other rights? why not!

NinjaTyler idk, I just like making fun of people who try to act superior just because they hate the government.

@@NinjaTyler sending you to arbitration now. Off you go. JK. I just read through almost all of The Walt Disney Company's updated terms of use since I had nothing else to do waiting on a live human. I believe 1 subscriber waited 8 hours, I ain't got that much time! The MDE app and Disney+ streaming service have tens of millions pissed. I believe that's why the humans must go(but their tech is shit since bringing in the INDIANS after forcing American employees who developed it to train before firing).

@@NinjaTyler Are you talking about something like a clipwrap contract? (Basically, the terms and conditions we click to use something online, like opening a YT account). True, there are certain conditions that those kinds of contracts have to have to be viable (not that they're that helpful to consumers, really), but the problem is also largely related to the service/item related to the contract. Many times, there is no alternative to those services/items, so people are going to click through the agreement regardless of whether they actually understand or truly agree with the contract terms. And those contracts would still be completely viable. Consider this: nearly *EVERY* social media account contains a clickwrap contract to access. There are practically no alternative sm sites that allow accounts/usage without one. So what can you do? Just not use sm at all? It's the same situation with practically every new piece of technology too, including cellphones. You either have to agree to the contract to use the item or just not use it at all, and considering how many people have sm accounts and cellphones, most choose the former option.

3% unemployment. they CAN'T find enough people to do the census.

it's up to $23 where i am

would totally do it, honestly. sounds like fun, I'm not even kidding. would be a cool way to meet people

bkLEGION3000 What a difference 5 months makes

It's a good one.

He's been doing it for years and its hilarious

It would be really epic if their TV appearance, after years out of show biz, was on Last Week.

Yes... only one of them is lying, cause the other one genuinely believes that there are two of them.

There are a few theories from being triples to the one that is basically the other twin is like vacation at Bernie's

"(when)... I got a paper cut from a radioactive census form, giving me all the powers of a census."

...my parents were murdered and raped ( in that order) by a loon with a camera.

I thought it was in Florida. Am I the only one who thought that?

@Bigfoot Self Important people with cameras. That's who made Census Man. that was his mother in that clip we saw.

You talkin' about Ivanka?

friendly reminder that conservatives have always used any tactics, even racist, to suppress democratic processes ukposts.info/have/v-deo/cHdzdal9roaYzas.html

Now I am just imagining the white house rising out of a swamp like the Legion of Doom

and then there's the racist pig cop's daughter outing her estranged father really is a racist pig and not just the pig butt of a Starbucks cup joke.

KendrixTermina if she was estranged she probably already knew

It's also funny when you found that Susan's penmanship is good enough to look like Jack Skellington is creeping about that they make a joke about it.

Left-handed people.

He'll be back by February

m m ☹️☹️☹️☹️☹️☹️☹️

I'm going to rewatch some old episodes for a few months, just to refresh my memory (and laugh while doing so.)

Me too whyyyyyy

@@jamesb4523 and cry too for the state of the world

It probably reflects pretty good on your state if the rest of us never hear about you

If Your teacher is showing you HBO it's time to stop paying for college.

Damn it, I was gonna make a penguin joke

Disney fact?

@@JOMFSE *AHA AHA*

@@JOMFSE yes Disney Fact

@@JOMFSE OP EDIT, QUICK!

I mean, they gotta get people to tune in to HBO one way or another.

"Or Stupid President Wants To Fuck His Own Daughter Watergate"

@@chrisSVT "daughtergate" for short

To be honest, we're lucky to get this much of the show for free.

Stupid Watergate’s been on UKposts for a cooool minute.

Same here. In 2010, I do not recall getting a census to fill out

You don't count

Each household gets a census. If you were living with parents, roommate(s), spouse(s)/significant other, children, it only takes 1 person to fill out the form for that location. Think back to the years ending in 9/0-who were you living with?

Are zou POC? If yes, that would explain why they didn't bother.

@@pamelacass9642 I've lived on my own since 2002, until I moved in with my wife 7 years ago. Never received anything in the mail, not even in the last 4 years I've been married. Wife confirms she hasn't filled out a census ever, either.

Coming on the heels, last week, of his song making a joke about furries fucking animals (which, again, is not true, that's zoophiles), this is especially amusing.

@@roguishpaladin You've done some research of your own it seems.

Never thought I'd hear anyone say that.

Courage Karnga The internet does that.

@@roguishpaladin You didn't get that part in his song. Bob Murray claimed that a giant squirrel (obviously a guy in a suit, a "furry") told him to eat shit. So he tries to fuck with the squirrel (Mr. Nutter Butter) by suing them.

Ascetic 😮

Cool.

I'm working on cloning!

John Oliver, king of trolls!

Bold of us to assume he’s mortal.

Bob Murrayy........ where are youuuu?

It was kind of nostalgic. Didn't expect that.

One of my favorite running gags.

spacecore94 what joke? All I heard was a man exposing the truth about the biggest coverup since Watergate.

Someday he'll make them confess!

Courage Karnga make *her* confess, you mean.

Our only hope against the mosquito hoard.

Fuck carl

Fuckin Carl

Why is it always Carl

How could you forget the Great Hot Dish?

A life without john oliver.....is not a life I want to live

Isn't being an illegal immigrant also against the law?

Yep. That totally true one

It was over due

Twins? There is only one

*Olsen TWIN joke.

I thought LWT forgot about the twin. It was recurrent in a few in a row and then there was silence.

Like a psycho doctor from Baltimore😏.

Yes we do lol. Never know what you will run across each day.

As someone who worked the 1990 census, truer words cannot be said.

I was lucky. I had quite a few people slam the door in my face, but at least nobody shot at me or tried to throw gasoline on me, which happened to another census taker in the district I was in.

Or a coked out mouse.

I guess that depends on how your area allocates housing / other funds. Filling out the census will make it more likely your area has the funds to do so.

I would seriously love to have a bidet!

Kosak Grabovsky ahh yes an honest and understandable mistake

He was referring to the tax guy who used to come into our homes and see what we had. I read something about that once. As usual trump Is confused. lol

@@janea5898 tax or property insurance agent.

I would consider your opinion valid, if you didn't have an anime profile pic

IcantSeeReplies why the illegals still pay taxes a lot of times. Not to mention it’s important to track population growth for future planning of infrastructure such as roads and sewer. If you undersize a sewer because you think population growth is 2% when it’s really 8% you’re going to have a bad time

michelle andrijich what's the return rate?

@@xiamrm about 95%

Libertarians are the adult equivalent of a child who doesn't understand why he has to go to bed, except that they're not fucking children and should know better.

​@chez421 Waaaah! All regulations are *stupid* because I don't undertand what they're for 😭😭😭

zi don't get wack jobs like him ether.

Not this government.

Lol in our surveillance state, they already know who and where we are anyway.

I mean, to be honest, he probably only has read the 2nd amendment.

@@FirstnameLastname-bh9qs Eh don't be so sure. He probably didn't even read that one, just heard it from someone else.

he is a libertarian nut job so no he has never read the constitution ever.

You think they actually read anything? For those kinds of people the US Constitution isn't a written document but an abstract philosophical imperative for the individual to do as they will while forbidding any entity not powerful enough as an individual to resist to form a group to oppose them. With the law typically existing as some kind of paradox.

The only version Trump read was on a Denny's kids menu!!😨

But...how do you find ALL OF THEM on one day?

@PragaMaterUrbium People in the U.S. don't want poor people to get IDs because they would have to show their ID to vote.

I work in a Census Office. Our enumerators are some of the most passionate people I've met. Such a pleasure. Thank you for having done this in the past.

While there are lots of crimes, I wouldn't call any of them perfect

Lm

YOLO

Me too. But it made awwww, too.

Yep, blew my mind in computer history class! The first tabulating machine by Herman Hollerith for the 1890 census.

Too bad the 1890 Census all burned up.

Is that true? Fascinating

@MGMX Obviously what Trump said was stupid. But I think overall he is actually right on this one (surprisingly). A census is not the only way to count population. The government has tax records, home registrations, birth records, drivers license, past census data, etc. So they already have a pretty good idea anyway, a census is just needed to make it more accurate. Doing this every 10 years for 15 billion dollars just for some accuracy seems excessive. Keep in mind that partial censusses are also possible and practiced by many countries. That is sufficient to determine how much (and which way) your existing data is off, which is pretty much sufficient.

@@Thewinner312 Compiling all the separate databases you just mentioned into meaningful data would probably be more expensive than just doing a fucking census. Some people don't file taxes. Not everyone owns a home. Birth records don't cover people who die. They would have to be matched with death certificates. Huge headache. Not everyone drives, etc. etc.

friendly reminder that conservatives have always used any tactics, even racist, to suppress democratic processes ukposts.info/have/v-deo/cHdzdal9roaYzas.html

@@joshuacox534 That is demonstrably false in every way.

@@joeblank9495 yea

@@joeblank9495 lol it isn't and its proven that Republicans do everything in their power to protect electoral college, disenfranchise black and latino voters, make it as difficult as possible to vote for people who are poor, which btw, people of colour disproportionately are Taking voting rights away from felons and then locking up black people for stuff that whites just pay a fine for is also a form of controlling who wins the election

Malgorzata S. And letting non-citizens vote and resurrecting people from the grave is also a way to influence elections.

As an appraiser for tax purposes yes we would like to know how many toilets you have.

As an appraiser yes we would like to know how many toilets you have.

The american community survey which is done by the census bureau asks all those questions. It asks if you have running water, toilets, how much money you make, how much your utility bills are all kinds of personal questions. I never knew this until I was randomly selected to do it and ignored it because I knew the census was not till 2020 and a worker showed up to ask all thoose questions.

A census taker once tried to test me. I ate his liver with some fava beans and a nice chianti.

For him, just EVERYTHING is about real estate.

If your under 18 and have a job then your getting taxed without being able to vote. Taxation without representation

@Arwyn No more military?

Arwyn how so?

General JellyRoll if you’re under 18 you are an idiot and the rest of us all agreed (and we all at some point were under 18) that you should not be allowed that power.

with his Sleepy Hollw's teeth?

"I hAve ... some ... candy bARs."

Oh boy... I'm bad with numbers... maybe... 80?

And a bobcat haha

Then..just the two of us.. Boy..i really overshot, with the 80.

Curtis Study says rapists are usually ones whom victim is familiar with 😂😂😂 This guy probably thinks Starbucks baristas try to rape him, too

@@margaritam.9118 See! People who know the victim! Once she learns his name, she knows him! He's on to her!

@@comradegarrett1202 And after that, all she needs to know is how many toilets he has!!!

😂😂😂 if only that was her response! I'm already laughing to the point of crying! That would've straight up made me piss myself! 😂😂😂

'news stories' likely being pure, unadulterated bullshit from his favorite right-wing fringe site.

Because they're Americans

For the same reason why they freak out about a citizenship question. A population count in muddy waters benefits a certain party which traffics illegal voters around the states.

Even with a registry you still need a census.

We are trying to make sure that we can provide neccessary services to everyone living in our country, and have an enormous number of people who do not wish for the government to be aware of their presence. Your system would provide for legal citizens, but leave out others who will be both needing, and claiming basic services.

@@tally1604 why? The number of illegal immigrants can't that high in relation to the populations total.

phenix79 there have been census long forms in the past that asked for plumbing information. www.census.gov/history/pdf/1950_housing_questionnaire.pdf

michael opp is this an attempt to validate something drumpf said? Because if it is you’re on the wrong video comment section

"Holy crap" Was that a pun???

"Three Mr. President" -Me, a citizen loyal to his nation and willing to provide necessary information to the proper authorities. Truly I am a warrior of shit.

@@julymagnus493 wrong. The answer is 4.

@@Scnottaken the correct answer is 4. the heretical answer is 3.

I heard on good authority that he got inspired by Snow white, you know "Census, census on the wall, do I have the most golden toilet of them all?"

That is definitely a very "important" thing to know