yee yee

YEE YEE

OH MY GOD THERES A KURTIS DRAGON

How was this a day ago if you just posted this-

get these goblins outta here

I know😭

And yk what, I’ll allow it because he can do what he want

Kurtis: the history of the world goes Late Bronze Age/Medieval Europe > Flip Phones > Today

introduction og flip-phones are closer to medieval ages than trojan war

@@fuckpreme6450 comparisons like that always mess with my mind. It's crazy how all this industrial nonsense what with the cars and trains and screens everywhere and instant wireless global communication is just a blink of an eye compared to all the stuff we humans were up to before. Just farming, building pointy things and windmills and boats, forming empires and then watching them collapse, over and over and over for thousands upon thousands of years. It's absolutely insane to me.

Better than "somehow palpatine returned"

@@1minion203 the moon goddess SAID palpatine could return ok 🙄🙄

it wouldn't even be that hard to fill it either. Like what if The first alpha guy had used some sort of dark blood magic to override the moon goddess's magic or whatever. And the first bond was actually him making a pact with some sort of shadow entity in direct violation of moon goddess. I don't know I'm just going off the cuff here, I could think of a million different easy ways to fluff the story up and slap some plot spackling over the holes.

I feel like the one mate rule made that stupid. If the moon godess just decided who got to be mates in the first place it would've been less "jk I changed my mind"

​@@moonriverinc7896I love the fact that no matter what canon of Star Wars you prefer, you still get a poorly done OP Palpatine clone

😂😂😂

Even the wolf was tired of her lmao

“I’m Lyla, I’m your wolf” “🤯MY W O L F LYLA UR HERE UR M ✨Y WOLFFF” “… Yes Selene. 😑”

omg ame chan...

NEEDY STREAMER OVERLOAD FAN REAL???

my 2012 warriors oc was literally called nightwind 😭😭 it felt personal

LITERALLY ITS HILARIOUS 😭😭

@@addaxnaso Sue them!

@@martmeisterpaladin4074 may aswell, get me cash out 💔💔

HELP TRUE THO

These actors weren't paid enough for this

this wasnt acting but a passion project... clearly XD XD

Me too

Maybe they all came together out of their passion for omegaverse fanfiction lmao

Prob they wrote it

It's looked like the beginning of a guy porn.

Especially because the only instances I can think of I which one adresses someones Title with "my" are My lady or Mein Führer 😭😭😭

​@@amitafimhuolla3615m'lady'alpha

@@amitafimhuolla3615💀💀💀💀💀💀💀

i GUARANTEE that exact dialogue is in an omegaverse fanfiction somewhere out there

Don’t forget 365 days and 50 shades of grey, there on the same tier man

Debatable

@@thejanitor5671 How's Twilight worse?

@@PopfulFrost don’t really remember

I disagree.

They're trying to get a big role on Riverdale so they need to practice delivering cringey lines.

They’re probably getting through their scenes by mentally repeating “I’m getting paid” over and over again.

HELP THATS WHAT I WAS THINKING

☠️

I’m still shocked people actually enjoy that

From the names i was like is fuckin wattpad!?

@@Lylah-bo9vp I’m still shocked people hate on others for enjoying things that don’t hurt anyone 😳😳😳

still better than somehow palpatine returned

15:09

like what was that line delivery

The moon goddess gave us another *eye roll*

@@boomerangswingsbothwaysAvatar 🤝

same 😭💀😭

What are the answers I never have one

SO TRUE

Right?! The torment is real dude 😭😭💀

Agreed lol

"fated to my forbidden alpha" is literally the title of one of those books that I read once when I was like 13. I don't remember it well enough to know if this was a legit adaptation but the tropes are all there 💀💀

@@ashlynnkae8446 i swear i read somthing like this back in 2015

They're literally live action Gacha mini-movies💀💀💀

That’s what I thought it seems like this is a Wattpad story

LMFAO that's exactly what came to mind omfg

If I ever finish a novel again I'll make sure to include a werewolf named Tinfanny, no matter what the novel is about, Tinfanny the She-wolf will be there somewhere

It’s a snow

@@Mario_Angel_Medina oooh that sounds cool af

ukposts.info/have/v-deo/oX-BZICtsHmoyWQ.html

*not relating to this comment, but just putting this message here for anyone needing it, for for anyone who may be encouraged* The Kingdom of God: Matthew 3:2 2 “Repent, for the Kingdom of Heaven is at hand.” 1 Corinthians 15:3-4: 3 For I delivered to you as of first importance what I also received: that Christ died for our sins in accordance with the Scriptures, 4 that He was buried, that He was raised on the third day in accordance with the Scriptures, John 3:16-18: 16 For God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten Son, that whoever believes in Him should not perish but have everlasting life. 17 For God did not send His Son into the world to condemn the world, but that the world through Him might be saved. 18 “He who believes in Him is not condemned; but he who does not believe is condemned already, because he has not believed in the Name of the only begotten Son of God. Ephesians 5:29-32: 29 After all, no one ever hated their own body, but they feed and care for their body, just as Christ does the church- 30 for we are members of His body. 31 “For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh.”[a] 32 This is a profound mystery-but I am talking about Christ and the church. 1 Peter 2:24: “He Himself bore our sins in His body on the tree, that we might die to sin and live to righteousness.” (Hi! Much love to you and everybody, and I thank you if you give this message a read! If you're confused or have seen this more than once, I explain in my bio~ Also my friend put together an amazing PowerPoint about Jesus(Yeshua) being the prophesied Messiah! If you'd like to see it just ask and I'll reply with the link :) I pray for your peace and for great days ahead of you, and that you find that Jesus(Yeshua) is the Only Truth~) Romans 3 Full chapter: www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Romans+3&version=ESV

sorry if i may ask but arent thise sfx from some crappy 2010s site with free sfx on a green screen?

immediately sorted comments to new when i heard it😭😭

"Oh Sniperwolf, please tell me what to do 🥺" "Doxx Jackson's castle."

She always sucked. The way she completely ignored a kid who was dying of cancer was sickening. Wouldn’t even give her a phone call.

i know right they don't even have the mpreg 🥴

​@@MayEmBeedammit! Pack it up everyone there's no mpreg 😔

If you're gonna do it at least go all the way amirite

​@@MayEmBee right like where's the mpreg and heat and rut stuff

@@MayEmBeeAverage WattPad users: No mpreg, no want. (For legal reasons, this is a joke. I used to read absolute garbo on WattPad as a teen 😂)

it has to be

its uncanny how AI it is lol

i’d have to disagree since there’s no mpreg

@@eternallustformedusa4844even chatGPT has standards

@@eternallustformedusa4844 or knotting

That sounds more entertaining than whatever the fuck this was 😂 I guess the 'book' was better?

Wait this is based off a fanfic? Yikes.. plenty of good fanfics to make shows of and they chose this gross werewolf mess?

That’s fascinating

I love that you call it straight omegaverse

i literally love watching straight omegaverse because they never seem to know that they're doing the omegaverse lol

@@sullyzbve idk, 9 out of 10 ghey omegaverse fanfics have the uwus and/or tildes which bring up the cringe factor to over 9000. And as far as I know, I haven't seen any m/f fanfics of irl celebrities. But m/m? BTS and One Direction seem to be pretty popular on that side of ao3... Edit: oh right, and streamers too. Dream, Markiplier, Jacksepticeye...

@@ThePopo543 that's true, but just *imo* I can relate a lot more to the m/m fics being gay myself. But when I'm reading a straight one and the ml says something cringy or just some unhinged shit only a straight person could say.. omg. But I totally get where ur coming from, and it is hard to find a good m/m omegaverse fic where it isn't a celeb.

@@ThePopo543ghey?

Me if I was a goddess

Lmaoo if I was a goddess I would be this indecisive

I bet she made up those rules about only one mate, but then made polyamorous people and forgot to tell them that there can be exceptions and just decided to watch the drama unfold

I actually think it makes sense if she has some actual free will and intelligence, she can make exceptions for exceptional circumstances, where someone never got a fair chance. But I want an answer to what happens if you pair up with someone youre not "mated" to

@@hubris.9561 me too lmao

No he's not a groomer He's just a looser

I swear they probably plagiarised a random omegaverase fic and because they are so many and they are all so similar it will be impossible to find the exact one they copied

That's what's on my mind too when I heard how the movies here were titled.

no wayyyy ive actually read this exact plot and i actually think the names are the same aswell lol

Im signing up right now, time to drop my CSGO and League of legends career and neglect family to watch reelshorts rather than tiktoks, yay saved my life and brought my grandma back to cook me my last dinner before i can ascend into god tier gamer ty ong frfr bout to hit this fadded higher than a blickys bruh blicky spinners bruh bennjomansss bruh gettin in dat i wanna get in dat im an alpha and i appove this massage higher than to moon baby get in dat cypto asap made banks

I remember reading a fic with this exact same title and plot

YES

that's a good idea i'll do that on my podcast!!!!

@@kurtisconner YAYY

@@InstagramUser69 ermmm actually its karpet corner

@@kurtisconnerhooray

@@InstagramUser69shut up bot 😇❤️

@@InstagramUser69 bro can’t even spell names

they forgot to add the subway surfers video underneath it

Yup--

This is actually a whole genre of books/online stories😭

I watched the Goblin movie after his review of it. I feel like it will be ingrained in my brain forever.

​@@It-is-me...MelsieI was tempted, but I'm scared

​@jessmtnz it watched the movie its not worth it

@@jessmtnz You should be! I advise to watch it with other people. In all honesty, it gave a a great laugh and was so bad it was hilarious and fun.

G O B L I N 😈😈😈😈

"relatable" - colleen ballswinger

@@rtcnoodlesHWLPPWOWO

BWASFHJGFGD

​@@rtcnoodlesI CANT 😭

@@rtcnoodlesBAHAHAHAHA I CAN'T

All us fanfic and smut girls are laughing at him! Hahahaha 😅

Idk i have read a bunch of omegaverse stuff, but none of them sucked as much as this movie like 😭 it's just so bad even compared to wattpad. Like how could someone even go lower than wattpad??😭

@@honeycinnamonroll620 Ao3 has better Omegaverse, fanfics, just saying

@@oyaoyasimpoyaoyaoya5254 I already kinda grew out of reading fanfics but if someone would've told me when i was younger i certainly would've been very very happy. Wattpad is just horrible

I only understand the omegaverse from gay fanfics, where are the omega dudes who leak out of their ass????

I’ve seen people upload anime onto tiktok in a ridiculous amount of parts

@@kingsrevenge9234bro said shall

@@kingsrevenge9234Feelings on DND is you???

@@kingsrevenge9234 INDEED IT SHALL 🙏🔥

+@@absurdum-the-artist "part 3,063"

Seriously tho I saw title and had flashbacks to my Wattpad days😭

My wattpad days where making fun of weird furry shit with my friends on there

When he said it was called the Blood Moon pack I physically recoiled from the onslaught of shitty wattpad memories AND THE WOLF IS NAMED LYLA??????? OH MY GOD

I thought wattapad made these like life action adaptations 😢

Do they also fight goblins every day >>

@@zeleor6954 No, but they should, that would be awesome

Yeah, just wait till he learns about werewolf mpreg shit😭😭

​@@lillieofthevallie9033 Wtf is mpreg??? Please tell me it isn't what it sounds like

@@axolotl195pegnent men 🎉

​@@axolotl195Yep it's male pregnancy

@@axolotl195 it is what it sounds like.

For real

Seeing as both movies are 20 years old, I think it's fine.

​@@KhanaHatakebut I'm also twenty years old!!! There are a lot of films that were made before I could walk, I'm still trying to catch up 😭

@@KhanaHatakeAnd all people are expected to have seen all movies in the past twenty years?

ive never watched fight club in my life and i really thought it was just like a random motivational fight movie like karate kid or something but now im really confused

They arent, this thing inst worth of being called werewolf.

after seeing this video i was in the dark to,, a small amount of omegaverse stuff ig? but is it common that u have a sentient wolf in ur subconscious,,, and u also ARE that wolf?? that doesnt make sensee 😭😭 unless theyre a wolf with the sentient wolf inside their subconscious

@@kaitlynmorgan4613 There two wolfs inside you if you are a onlyfans model.

@@heitorpedrodegodoi5646 as if thats something to be worthy of????

also clarifying stuff saying "in this movie"

lmao same

I feel strangely exposed

Weirdos

@@Gabe413 yep

This is one of the funniest comments I've read online and I'm not sure why.

the comment I was looking for hahaha yep

Most realistic thing about this movie. You're telling me you're called *Tinfanny* and nobody ever messes up your name ? Now that would be some serious bullshit

Tinfinny is up there with Termey and jimethy

The name Tinfanny is even funnier in the uk

​@@joelisawesometvwell it would be if it wasn't spelled TinFFany

I gotta hand it to them, the concept of the Alpha/Beta/Omega hierarchy re-defined as a crime family is a cool concept.

He should legit do a deep dive. Actually I want him to do a deep dive on all the fantasy romance ebooks on kindle

ok

ok

ok

I mean, that just makes the skit even more absurd & I'm all for it. 😂🤣

Lolol I just made a comment ab this Im glad someone else noticed! 😂 Forreal 1184BC mycenaean greece is pretty much as far from the medieval era as we are from the medieval era

I thought I was picky for thinking that but thank goodness you said that

SAME

THANK YOU, I was crying

This is not the same alpha stuff that redpillers use. It's omegaverse fawned over by teenage girls

not that kind of alpha and omega bud 😭😭😭

@@sabsain2399 Except that it's not really that different conceptually, which is a pretty messed-up obsession for a bunch of teenagers.

Technically, you’re wrong. Wolves do act like this in captivity. Just not naturally. honestly, werewolves are already a freak of nature.

​@@haysoos123 it's just another thing for teen girls to fantasize about the same way they fawn over hot fictional vampires. this is significantly way more tame than redpill alpha/omega bro podcasters who take the concept way too seriously in comparison. i'd take cringe teen obsessions over that any day

Yess They're almost always really creative, and often fun to read or watch But this makes it all look unhinged lol

Honestly that whole scene gave me Twilight vibes when Bella turns into vampire and went from tripping down the stairs just by existing to winning arms wrestling competitions vs Emmett. Just cringe "oh omg she's so much more powerful, what a queen 🤩" behavior ngl

I think that's just my fantasy because I am poor and wish there was money I was actually born into and will find out any moment

Damn man@@Kiki-vc1xo

@@Kiki-vc1xoI think in literature and stuff it’s called a power fantasy in case you want more stuff

We love seeing people who were mistreated get revenge

Glad I’m not the only one

Omg… thank you?! I actually also thought that each part was 60 mins, was a bit confused why he said they were as long as the adds…

Now you've got me wondering how one would begin to make an infinitely long movie. Would it perhaps have something to do with stuffing an empty roll of film into the projector and letting it run for a few hours?

i was very confused too lol i was thinking "60 minutes with ads between them? so like a tv series?"

I WAS THINKING THE EXACT SAME THINGG

It has sound?

Real 😦

The joke was that it was set in the past -_-

THANKS

666

@@HelderGriff Obviously it is just funny to laugh at because even if the Trojan Horse did exist imagining it being at the same time as other things such as the War of the Roses is hilarious to think about

@@InstagramUser69🤓

@@InstagramUser69 who's curtis

@@InstagramUser69the bots have responded, and they’re spelling his name wrong

sike kurtis 😎

​@@InstagramUser69cope kekw

He just calls Patroclus and tells him his mother kidnaped him and pat is like “oh ok lit I’ll be there in 2 days” HSKSHSKSB

🥸 I know I was like wait 💀

There would be a whole ass chapter about all the ringtones and games his phone has similar to how the book goes on and on about his shield.

I can imagine Achilles flipping open his phone fruityly to answer💅

Achilles texting Patroclus: Hey bbygirl, I talked to my mom, and she said she can't see us in the cave, yk what that means 🫦👨‍❤️‍💋‍👨

glad to see that you're invested in the survival of the species, and not... the rest of this

Eh probably would help our long term survival. People having 15 kids with 8 baby moms

@@LeenieTunes long term those of the 15 kids that survive are gonna multiply even more and that's how you keep the species going LOL

No it's fine. The Moon Goddess gives you a redo.

​@BBoyes Well, in evolutionary terms, that approach is fantastic for genetic diversity to prevent population bottleneck

Fr 🫣 this still has nothing on the hat fic though lmao. I wonder what the writer of that is doing now 🤔

@@aimeedesignoh god bro you really had to mention the hat fic 😭😭 triggered my fight or flight

As a CURRENT Wattpad girl, this is hilarious and horrifying lmao

@@hauntedmilo no… no I never even watched Dan and phil

I've never been on wattpad, but I've been in fanfic circles for more than 2 decades and I swear this stuff should stay hidden away in the dark corners of the internet. It was never meant to see the light of live action.

Such a classic example of medieval history

I don't know what I love more, the fact he thinks the battle of Troy was in medieval times, or that this is not top comment 😂😭😭

It's just a couple years off. 😄

Yeah I wasn't sure what to do with that information

I mean it gets the point across

THANK YOU LMAO

I was looking for this comment. I love Kurtis, but I don't get the impression that history is his forte. 🤣

He only said if we could imagine... Not that he’d help us imagine. 😤💯

Was about to comment the same thing lmao

I was looking for this comment. I was like “this is definitely not Midieval times”. 😂😂😂

Right! That's what I was thinking 😂😭

I love your pfp!

Yeah same. I was like "this feels like a pretty generic werewolf AU to me" 😅

Admitting to that crazy

Lol, I hate to admit it, but I’ve actually read this one 🤣

(My name is Ryan Watson Henderson btw)

The real question is did YOU win the megaball??

I’d hate to spoil the 20 something dollars it was to watch it, but technically yes because the main girl won and shared it with me because I was “the good guy”.

Bro, those movies are probably taken from Chapters

@@ryanwatsonhenderson worth every penny guaranteed

i’ve actually seen other comments on tiktok about this story & apparently she ends up just, being able to read everyone’s minds. completely outta left field 💀

Thank you fanfic reader

exactly i was like what do u mean ur gifted

im dumb what is that?

@@smoceany9478 alpha, beta, omega trope thing

@smoceany9478 Google “omegaverse.”

ok who is the alpha, who is the beta, and who is the omega@@slowmoods

@@anomalousanimatesthey’re secondary genders in a made up werewolf universe, usually found in fanfiction. All three sub genders have their own traits and roles is society.

@@CanidRose was thinking the exact same thing😭they for sure just took this story off ao3 or wattpad or smth

​@@CanidRoseliterally💀

I literally had to stop the video cause I was laughing too much at that part lmao

ya

Now I want him to review some of the audio stories, or at least the ads for them.

do I want to know what Omegaverse means or should I enjoy my ignorance?

​@@RealElongatedMuskratEnjoy your ignorance.

​​@@RealElongatedMuskrat if you do choose to learn more, be careful, there is some toxic wtf smut in this rabbit hole. Be prepared with mind bleach, maybe an emesis bag. Probably would be happier not knowing, on the other hand there's some highly roastable, cringe worthy content to make fun of so good jokes

​@@RealElongatedMuskrat you want to enjoy your ignorance, trust me. You don't wanna know what mpreg, ruts, heats are.

fire profile picture dude

Right? That's not Medieval! That's the Bronze Age!

​@@Fang_ToothBoy what the hell boy

@@Fang_Toothis that an arima pfp

@@library5291 it is woooo!!!

*explains perfectly* "but idk" 😂

I-

It wasn’t Wattpad for me it was episode but same thing lol

that's so stupid lol

I get you… like this lore is too familiar to me as some one who probably has read many werewolf and vampires Wattpad books lmao

Not to mention the fact that cable companies would monopolize entire areas. Which left you with no choice unless you went with satellite TV. (Which, of course, had their own issues, especially at first.) Or the crappy "bundles" that included phone and Internet. I remember them announcing those like they'd found the answers to all of humanity's problems. It's easy to look at cable with nostalgia goggles now that it's dying a slow death, but it definitely a lot of issues.

It's free

@@everythingponytime is money and you have to watch ads to get the next piece /hj

"straight omegaverse" 💀💀💀💀💀

Idk, I don’t know ANYTHING about straight omegaverse.. I thought it had the same lore as homo omegaverse tbh

I mean I have zero concept of the “omegaverse” except pathetic guys who call people alpha and beta lol

@@scomo7yearsago958Oh there was an entire lawsuit involving straight omegaverse, it has lore

@@elleblair4971 That's manosphere crap, unrelated. Omegaverse is furry shit for people who hate furries.

it's more that tyler is part of a system

but at the time this came out most people didn't really know about DID

SAME

me too 21

WHERE IS THE SPOILER I NEED THE TIME SO I CAN SKIP IT TwT

I did not catch that aspect until I saw this comment and now I'm giggling again, thank you

On purpose for what?

@@ranimeRATthe Trojan horse was set like two and a half thousand years _before_ medieval times. It’s like the most wrong a historical joke could possibly be. And definitely not on purpose

​@@joearnold6881how do you know it wasn't on purpose?

@@joearnold6881y r u so mad